Published May 03, 2021
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 1, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Hi. I'm Greg Gutfeld with Juan Williams, Katie Pavlich, Jesse Watters, and a caprice on pouch is her water bed, Dana Perino. THE FIVE.
So, did Joe Biden have the most disastrous first month of any president in modern history?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Joe Biden has had the most disastrous first month of any president in modern history.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I mean, we all knew the Biden administration was going to be bad but none of us imagined how bad.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: We all knew that the Biden administration was going to be bad. But none of us even imagined just how bad they would be and how far left they would go. He never talked about this. We would have those wonderful debates. He would never talk about this. We didn't know what the hell he was talking about.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, if a Republican president makes a triumphant return to the White House, I wonder who that will be.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: A Republican president will make a triumphant return to the White House.
(CROWD CHEERING)
TRUMP: And I may wonder who that will be.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, it was just like old times at CPAS as Trump boiled it down for all of us. While you no longer had his mean tweets keeping CNN anchors up at night. You also had unsecured borders, fewer jobs, a dead pipeline, rising gas prices and return to a disastrous climate agreement and rising crime that gets a pass from the cowards of cancel culture. And the only good thing Joe has the vaccines, came from you know who.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: Never let them take the credit because they don't deserve the credit.
(APPLAUSE)
TRUMP: They just followed. Now they are following our plan.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: And then he laid down the most vital challenge with Joe on behalf of the moms and dads and children of America. Get the schools open and open them now.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: On behalf of the moms, dads, and children of America on a call on Joe Biden to get the schools opened and get them open now.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That's pretty clear. Finally, I wonder what we will see for the next four years.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: For the next four years, the brave Republicans in this room will be at the heart of the effort to oppose the radical Democrats, the fake news media, and their toxic cancel culture. Something new to our ears. Cancel culture. And I want you to know that I'm going to continue to fight right by your side.
The only division is between a handful of Washington, D.C., establishment political hacks and everybody else all over the country.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: But that's not all you're going to see. You will see Trump and perhaps others in the party that will learn from him. Trump showed other Republicans that you've got to fight fire with fire. And you know that it worked because suddenly he became an existential threat. That's what happens when you expose the media.
Trump offered a clear, succinct difference yesterday. People say he ruined the party. Others say he saved it. It could be both. The Republicans have now become a new party, one for the ignored, the working classes, the opposite of the elites. Time to embrace that as the Dems become no different from its colluders on CNN, those well-dressed dopes controlled by the woke.
So, Jesse, thank God for Trump. We needed something interesting to talk about. He is like a cargo plane that air drops cigarettes and chocolate to board at troops in the media.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, I don't smoke but I love chocolate. And there's a lot to chew on, Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: We could talk all hour about that speech but I'll just say two things. One thing he said that really struck me, he said the Republican Party is the party of love. And that's something that Rush Limbaugh talked about when he said what defines a conservative. A conservative is a conservative because they have such deep love for the American people. Love for the country, love for the Constitution and all of the great leaders that made our proud history so great.
So, when you love something, you put that thing first. And that's all America first is all about, putting the American people first, not global institutions, not other countries, not isms or multinational corporations. It's the average guy. And through trade, wage and immigration policy, he created a middle-class boom that helped everyone, all races, creeds and colors.
And that's why it's so sad to see Joe Biden rejoin bad deals and tear up good ones just because he hates Trump and his supporters so much. And it's devastating to watch and it makes me sad because I'm such an emotional person.
The other thing is this, Greg, and you touched on the vaccine stuff. History is going to, I believe, at least my history will show that Donald Trump saved millions of life and millions of jobs. Joe Biden wouldn't have ban travel from China. He would've kept the economy shut down longer and he never would've launched Warp Speed at record time. So, he would've cost millions more lives and millions more jobs.
So, Donald Trump ordered 200 million doses of the vaccine. OK? Half of them have been distributed right now. And 75 million of them have been administered. So, not a single dose has been injected into an American on March 1st ordered by Joe Biden. All of these doses so far as of today have been distributed through the military, Trump's plan, and administered through the states, Trump's plan.
Joe Biden is following Trump's plan and the trajectory of the injections is just a steady rise. He hasn't super charge it. So, I want Peter Doocy to ask Jen Psaki for acknowledgment of that and a thank you.
GUTFELD: Well done. The Republican Party is the party of love. And the Democrat Party, the party of lust.
WATTERS: Yes.
GUTFELD: We'll be right back. Dana, you know, What I thought was interesting is identifying the Democrats as the party of cancel culture. Like being anti-free-speech or pro-censorship. I think that's a -- that's a pretty good strategy. Do you think it is?
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, I think, I mean, look, I think that the Democrats realize that the general election went their way for the presidency but across the board almost everywhere you look in America that wasn't the case. Some state legislatures, the congressional offices obviously and some of the Senate races.
And so, I think that they realized that, you know, they are kind of living on borrowed time and I think that's one of the reasons they are in such a hurry to try to get as much done as they possibly can. Cancel culture I think is a part of that.
Do you remember when President Trump in the 2016 election said that political correctness was ruing our country. He got a huge applause line. Right? People are feeling that.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: And so, and that's not going to end. I would say that being respectful of diversity of thought has to be inclusive of everyone, including even people in your own party. Now one thing he did not do yesterday. Not say he is going to start a third party. There was speculation about that.
And I think that his, basically, description of the Biden team, his critique was pretty effective. And if Republicans can figure out a way to unify behind that, I think the Biden team would realize that they've got a tiger by its tail with all these problems coming to the forefront.
They are just focused so much on getting $1.9 trillion in relief, well, relief passed before March 14th, and then they'll try to worry about the other things but you can already see the cracks in the foundation of the Democratic unity are absolutely happening. And whether President Trump runs again, who knows. We haven't seen this since Grover Cleveland gave it a shot. I mean, but, you know, history can repeat itself.
GUTFELD: That is true. That is true and it's a good point about cancel culture is like the Frankenstein monster of political correctness. So, it seems like a logical extension for Trump. And Katie, he won the CPAC poll handily. I didn't even come in a close second.
KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, I didn't see you on the list, Greg.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PAVLICH: I'm so sorry. You know, CPAC is the Conservative Political Action Conference, it's the place where conservatives go every year to get involved to figure out how they can make a difference when it comes to forwarding conservative values. And I thought when President Trump talked about fighting against the left and focusing the energy on that, that's important. But also, he talked about the power that Republicans do have on the states to go after big tech, to work on things like censorship at the local level.
And then of course he talked about 2022 and 2024. So, he gave people there kind of an assignment to go out and fight against left, -- remain focused on the things that they are doing to not let them rewrite the history of the Trump administration, of the Republican Party. And also, to fight these things in the places where they do have some leverage against these Democrats in their states.
GUTFELD: Yes. Juan, I know you are up all night Saturday like it was the day before Christmas, knowing that Donald Trump was going to speak. You are just so excited. And I think I heard -- overheard you say in the green room it was the greatest speech you ever heard.
JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS HOST & POLITICAL ANALYST: Well, it sure was, it sure was like "Nick at Nite." It was like a rerun. I have heard that speech before, you know. That speech obviously turns on a lot of people. I will say that for it.
I mean, but the big news out of it, to me was, that he still says he won the election and is continuing to promote that fiction even though we know it's so damaging to the country. We saw the violence on the capitol at the Capitol Hill. And you know, and he continues to damage the Republican Party. And he says now, here's a list of people in the Republican Party to go after, the people who told the truth about not only the election but what happened on January 6th.
So, I think he is promoting again, you know, more division not only in the country but in the party. And I think that's really difficult because, you know, obviously people in the country are worried about more violence coming. That's why we still have the fencing around the capitol and all of that.
But I think people inside the Republican Party are also looking to try to find a way to go forward to build the party going forward. And again, it's just so difficult when everything focuses just on one personality.
His comments about Biden I found intriguing because it seemed to me to be so revealing, Greg. It seems to me like he's jealous. It seems to me like he's jealous about the idea that Biden is having success. The COVID infection rate, the death rate is going down. He is jealous about the idea that the vaccines are getting out.
He's jealous about the idea that somehow, you know, the rescue package it's already now passed the House, it looks like it's on its way through the Senate successfully by the end of this week. And I think he is just jealous. I mean, it's like it's coming out of his ears.
GUTFELD: I don't know, man.
PERINO: That's a take.
GUTFELD: I don't know how you can read somebody's mind and their feelings. I just look at what he is saying. You know, the thing too is, it's been three months --
WILLIAMS: Yes.
GUTFELD: -- since the election.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: That's what I do.
GUTFELD: The Dems -- the Dems question the election for four years. It's weird how you change the standards on that. But we've been over that a million times.
Coming up, there is a surge of migrants at the border but the Biden White House just claimed everything is under control.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS: Joe Biden meeting with Mexico's president right now while he undoes just about all of Trump's immigration policy. That's happening while Biden's homeland secretary claims everything is under control at the border.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNKNOWN: Do you believe that right now there is a crisis at the border?
ALEJANDRO MAYORKAS, U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY SECRETARY: I think that the answer is no. I think there is a challenge of the border that we are managing and we have our resources dedicated to managing it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Really? Then why is the White House about to open a new tent facility in Texas to handle a surge of migrants at the border? And what about border officials reportedly saying they expect 13,000 unaccompanied children to cross the border in May alone. But don't worry. Biden says it's all under control.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Right now, there's thousands of unaccompanied children coming to cross the border. In Texas, they opened up one. One that was a former of one used in the administration, in the last administration. Our hope and expectation is that, it won't stay open very long.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: So, Juan, Jeh Johnson, homeland security director under Barack Obama said that 1,000 illegal crossings a day constitute a crisis. Three to four crossing -- 3,000 to 4,000 crossings which we are a day right now, that must constitute a crisis, wouldn't you agree?
WILLIAMS: Yes. I mean, remember you've got a number of people who've been waiting in Mexico and they are being allowed entry. And the question is, what do you do with those people? Can we process them effectively, Jesse? So, I think the numbers can get somewhat confusing. But I take what the homeland security secretary said. Right now, he feels that it's manageable.
Obviously, you can -- you can come back and say to him in a few weeks if that's not the case, that he wasn't telling the truth. But I think what we see today and you mentioned this at the top, is Biden meeting with the Mexican president, Obrador. And you know, I think he is seeking help from Mexico, from his other allies in Latin America.
Because I think it's inevitable, we are going to see a spike in real immigrants forcing in, not just crossing but forcing in in the springtime of this year. I think that's one of the things that we're going to see.
So, he needs help and it's not just from some of these countries down in Latin America. I think he needs help from Congress. You know, you think about it, Obama, increased in arrest, increase in deportations. We still saw spikes. You think about Trump, you know, the fictional wall, the deportations, the separating the families. And we still saw spikes and the like.
WATTERS: Why do you say it's fictional?
WILLIAMS: The wall? It's fictional. But I think he needs help to set new rules so we can deal with the immigrants --
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: How is the wall fictional?
WILLIAMS: -- who are in this country right now and I think we need to deal with future flow, we need to deal with amnesty and we need to deal with border security. I think 25 years is too long since Congress has acted. So, Congress should stop playing politics and give us comprehensive immigration reform.
WATTERS: OK. Well, Joe's border policy is fictional in that case because it doesn't exist. Katie, if you wanted Mexico to help like Juan says, then why did he get rid of the remaining Mexico policy?
PAVLICH: Well, first, if the wall -- the border wall is fictional, then I don't know why Joe Biden ordered it to stop being built and why you have a number of people who were working construction on that wall saying that they are no longer building the wall that does exist.
But the DHS secretary today said that he wanted people to come, just not right now. So, he said specifically it's not that we don't want people to come, we just want to wait until we have time to process all of them which is an open invitation for a mass increase in asylum fraud. And it's exactly what you're going to see here.
You had the prior administration put into place the remaining Mexico policy. And they worked with local government so people who actually apply for asylum who qualified can apply in their home countries because it's the first step rather than making this long journey.
The other thing that we are seeing here that nobody is talking about, when you see the number that they are predicting for 13,000 in May, for example. How many times over is that going to happen? Those kids are going to be here. The Biden administration is not going to pay with taxpayer money to transfer them to family members who were already in the country living here, most of them illegally.
And then in 20 years from now, 15 years from now we are going to have this population of people who came here through this process which is going to set up another immigration catastrophe and crisis because you have now a whole another generation of, quote, "DREAMers" or other people who then they want to make legal citizens.
And so, this is about asylum fraud and the Department of Homeland Security is headed by a guy who today invited this problem while claiming there is no crisis going on. And it's one of their making in the past few months.
One quick thing. Biden also, the DHS secretary today lowered expectations, saying that the Trump administration gutted everything and that's why things are bad. They are just saving themselves so that when things get worse, they can blame that on the previous administration.
WATTERS: Dana, your thoughts.
PERINO: I just make a quick one, and that is that Juan mentioned the need for comprehension of immigration reform. And I think that many people in America would welcome that.
But if Biden loses control of this border issue, like when Mayorkas says it's a challenge and we are managing it, like they better hope that they can do that, because if they can't then any hopes of a bipartisan immigration reform bill will be out the window. So, if they really want to try to get that done or anything else done, they've got to figure out a way to deal with the immediate issue at hand.
WATTERS: Greg Gutfeld?
GUTFELD: So, first, what you are seeing is the great liberal flip. It's what considered a crisis when they are out of power becomes a success when they're in charge. So, they actually insult their own competence by claiming this is their definition of success. Whereas, Republicans are like, we've got to stop this.
And only a Democrat would condemn a wall at a border but then appreciate one surrounding the capitol. I think that's a bit backwards. Also, the secret word obviously in all of this is the word unaccompanied. OK? So, can we finally stop with the lie about separating kids from their parents when you're talking about 13,000 unaccompanied kids, teens, whatever you call them, unaccompanied.
Suddenly it's as if after the election in November, 13,000 pairs of parents just disappeared? Where did they go? Where did the parents go? Could it be that they really weren't there to begin within and that we were being fed a heavily, heavily lopsided story by the media that favored the Dems and didn't favor Trump. I would say so. And what does it say about Mexico then if 13,000 of your young people want to get the hell out.
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: That's where the reform is.
WATTERS: Yes. It's also not a bunch -- it's not a bunch of 6-year-old girls. It's a bunch of 16 and 17-year-old males.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: Those are the minors. Up next, he was just joking. Andrew Cuomo giving an unbelievable excuse after a second former aide accuses him of sexual harassment.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: Andrew Cuomo reacting to serious accusations of sexual harassment by claiming he was just, and here I'm quoting, "being playful and meant no harm." That's after a second former aide accused the governor of inappropriate behavior.
Charlotte Bennett claims Cuomo crossed the line by asking her about dating and her sex life. He also asked if she ever slept with older men. The governor says he is sorry if his comments were, quote, "misinterpreted." But that's not sitting well with everyone. Listen to New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO (D-NY): If these allegations, if these charges are proven, there's just no way he can govern.
JAKE TAPPER, CNN HOST: So that's a yes, you think that he should resign if any of these are proven correct?
DE BLASIO: Of course.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: New York City Attorney General Letitia James announcing today she's moving ahead with an investigation. That's after James pushed back on Cuomo's original plan to handpick a judge to handle this probe.
Greg, you know, how happy is Bill de Blasio? You know, now he is going hard at Cuomo. You know, I think this is very interesting.
GUTFELD: There's a lot of weird things going on here. You know, remember, De Blasio is the worst mayor in the history of the world. And if he's happy about this, I'm really, really worried. We have a rising felony rate and murder rate --
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: -- in New York and these guys were worried about trying to nail Cuomo. But there is something else that's really grotesque about this. I obviously -- creepy sexual-harassment stuff, bad. But these people are way more outraged --
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: -- about this than the rest home! Thousands of people got --
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: That's my point.
GUTFELD: I'm sorry, Dana.
PERINO: You're right.
GUTFELD: I will cede to one of my future points.
PERINO: You're right.
GUTFELD: But it's insane to hear like de Blasio saying this stuff. He wasn't outraged when all of these bodies were piling up. And now they're -- and you're seeing that in the media too, that somehow we're in a world where a dude acting creepy to girls that are the age of his daughter, which is creepy, right? It's somehow more outrageous and deserving of resignation. They're not even apologizing for the death of thousands of people when he sent -- you know the story -- sick people to a rest home. It does it boggles my mind.
You know what? People don't understand this. This city is so screwed, it's un-screwable. You can't unscrew it. It's done. Can we move to Florida? Just THE FIVE and the "GG SHOW."
WILLIAMS: All right --
GUTFELD: And Jesse's show.
PAVLICH: Sure. I would go.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: Can Hemmer come?
GUTFELD: Hemmer can come, but he's got to drive.
WATTERS: Everyone is in.
WILLIAMS: Hey, Jesse. So, I was going to ask about the media. They seem to be pretty aggressive here, front page everywhere.
WATTERS: Juan, first, I want to say something that's very difficult to say. You were right. Last week, you said he was teetering. And if another woman came forward, he was toast. So, it's not often that you're right, Juan. So, I think everybody on the show should just acknowledge it and make that point.
But the fact that there is now a lawyer who is defending Governor Cuomo from these harassment allegations, it's the same defense attorney for Woody Allen, makes me think there's going to be several more women because you don't hire Woody Allen's defense attorney if it's just a small thing.
Cuomo has to get better excuses. Number one excuse was I was just kidding. I use that in middle school when I was trying to get out of being grounded. The other excuse was there was a misunderstanding. OK, so a 63-year-old man is alone in his office with a 25-year-old woman and he says, do you ever think about sleeping with older men? How do you misunderstand that? What other way is there for you to interpret that kind of comment?
But to the media, Juan --- everybody on this show knew Cuomo wasn't a good governor, but the media had created the story arc for the governor. He needed to be the good guy to contrast against Trump the bad guy during the pandemic. They don't need that contrast anymore, so Cuomo is disposable.
And to Greg's point, this whole sex scandal takes the heat off the nursing homes so they can run for cover on that. I do want to praise Hillary --
WILLIAMS: But, Jesse --
WATTERS: -- for her bold leadership for waiting nearly a week to come out and issue a statement, a whole two-sentence statement that says she's supporting an investigation. How brave for her to do that.
WILLIAMS: Jesse, I think the lawyer is just for the nursing homes, not for the sexual harassment part, though. So, Katie, let me just quickly ask you what's the best way to --
WATTERS: I don't think so.
WILLIAMS: OK. Katie, what's the best way to go about this investigation? You know, because flirting, kissing, comments, you know, what comes to that?
PAVLICH: Well, we can hear both sides of the story from Cuomo and the women accusing him. But Cuomo has already changed the story, so I think he's toast because of that. And let's see if I can do this the right way. The walls are closing in on Andrew Cuomo when it comes to everything that's going on. He's done.
I do find the timing, very interesting --
WATTERS: It's the beginning of the end.
GUTFELD: It's worse in Watergate.
PAVLICH: It's the beginning of the end for Andrew Cuomo. I do hope that the nursing home thing doesn't get buried. There is criminality involved there for sure. But we'll see if more women come forward. We're at the beginning of this thing.
WILLIAMS: Yes. Dana, I think there's a lot of glee from people who don't like Andrew Cuomo, Democrats and Republicans. But for the Republicans, does this then open the door to people say what about Donald Trump and all the charges against him?
PERINO: Well, sure. They can go ahead and say that. That is like a well- known story. This is not new. And Cuomo's statement was so dripping with derision. You know, he called it an apology. I would say it was more of like an acknowledgment that he's in trouble. A couple of weeks ago, I think. -- I think he might have been on with Fox -- on Fox News Sunday.
Josh Holmes suggested that his political future might be ending. Perhaps that could even be sooner than we think. I think that when the floodgates open, then you know you're in big trouble. He's in big trouble. He should be.
GUTFELD: But he can get a show with his brother on CNN, The Cuomo's.
PERINO: We'll see. We'll see.
WILLIAMS: Wow, what an idea.
PAVLICH: It's the beginning of the end.
WILLIAMS: Up next -- up next, the California teacher's union leader who fought against returning to classroom, he's caught on camera dropping his child off for in-person learning, next for you on THE FIVE.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PAVLICH: Well, some brand new COVID hypocrisy for you. The head of Berkeley California's Teachers Union who says schools should be only reopened after all teachers are vaccinated, was spotted dropping off his daughter at in- person preschool.
Upset parents are calling him out. The group Gorilla Momz with Z tweeted, "Meet Matt Meyer, a white man with dreads and president of the local teachers union. He's been saying it is unsafe for your kid to go back to school, all the while dropping his kid off at private school."
Meyer claims there is no public option for students his daughter's age. So, Greg, is it worse the hypocrisy on COVID or the dreadlocks?
GUTFELD: I don't know. It's an interesting --
PERINO: My point again.
GUTFELD: It's an interesting detail. He absorbs guilty of cultural appropriation. But the whole point of being a leftist is to gain power. Because once you gain power, it's to exempt yourself from the consequences of your coercion, right? It's like you can dump that on other people, but you get around it.
And it's kind of -- the real unfairness to this is that he's creating an advantage for his kids by keeping other children at home. It's a sinister long-term strategy. His kids now got to the edge and getting better jobs and going to better schools as he -- as he tells the other families, no, your kids can't go anywhere. So, it's kind of disgusting in a way, dreads are no dreads.
PAVLICH: Yes.
GUTFELD: Yes, those are dreads.
PAVLICH: That's for sure. Those are dreads Jesse?
WATTERS: Yes, I'm lifting my ban on talking about people's personal appearance. White guys with dreadlocks, it's an aesthetic. And maybe he was growing it out during the pandemic, and maybe Nancy knows the salon that he could go to. But this is a pasty white guy way north of the equator, and he's rocking thick dreads. With all due respect, I just don't think it works for him, with all due respect.
Now, I want to make a pre-rebuttal to Juan's argument. Juan is going to say that we need to keep schools open, but we need -- but we have to open them safely. Now, Juan, can you name one school that's opened unsafely? Because I don't think you can name one school district in the country that's opened unsafely.
Six of the top 10 largest school districts in America have been open for several months, and those are in Texas, and Florida. Now, they got the same amount of money as the other big districts, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Vegas, so why aren't they open safely and the others closed? It's because the teacher's unions in the blue states aren't following the science, they're following the money.
WILLIAMS: Well, I think in fact, we had -- we had good news today, Jesse, because Chicago, actually, we see that now K through five is opening next week. They'll go up to I think it's a grade eight. And so, we're seeing progress being made. And, by the way, the big teacher's unions, they represent them nationwide red state and blue state.
I think the key point for me is as we're seeing this progress as the number of cases go down, so per CDC, you're seeing places now adopt hybrid instruction. So, when you say open, you have to say some kids go to school every other week, some kids go into classrooms that they have the partitions and the ventilators. It's a whole lot going on. But I think Biden says he still wants it open. I think people like me want to see the schools open.
PAVLICH: So, Dana, we joke about this but it's actually very serious and disgusting that he's doing this while keeping kids out of school.
PERINO: Well, you know, I bet you could go through his Twitter feed and find somewhere where he lamented the fact that people have lost trust in their public servants and in institutions. And then all he's got to do is look in the mirror although, according to Jesse, he's not going to like what he sees.
PAVLICH: "THE FASTEST" is coming up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: Welcome back. Time for "THE FASTEST." First up, pack your bags and get ready to visit the first space hotel. Construction is set to begin in low Earth orbit in 2025. And it will basically be like a cruise ship with restaurants, a spa, and rooms for 400 guests.
Greg, how do they deal with the lack of gravity at a spa?
GUTFELD: That's a tough one. Also, the buffet is going to be a complete mess. But you know what, this is what you know it's fake. They're just going to fly you in a fake capsule surrounded by screens. You're going to dock at basically the equivalent of a movie set and you're going to be living in this kind of weird area about the size of a football field.
You will have no idea that you're actually in let's say Newark, New Jersey. You'll be in Newark, New Jersey for your entire trip. You will have no clue.
PERINO: I have to say, that sounds like a good way to go to me actually.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: Juan, would you go on this thing?
WILLIAMS: You know, Dana, my first question when I read this was how are the beaches? Because to me having been, you know, confined during this pandemic period, I want to get outside. I want to go to the beach, the mountains. I just want to go -- the outdoors is calling my name. You know, I -- so I'm not in for this one.
PERINO: Jesse, how about you?
WATTERS: I'm with Juan. You can't get tan in space. You can't frolic in the surf. There's no fresh fish. You probably can't even smoke. You can't sidle up next to a colorful local with a straw hat and knockback drinks and talk about coconuts. That's the kind of stuff you want on a vacation.
Plus, you can't check out early. What if there's a problem and you need to leave? You have to stay. You're stuck.
PERINO: Now, Katie, I know you'd go.
PAVLICH: I would totally go. I'm the only person here who would love to go. I'll go for everybody and report back about the buffet and the spa. I'll take one for the team.
PERINO: All right, I love that. OK, I want to ask you guys about this. Check out this guy. You might not want him operating on you.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are you available for trial? It kind of looks like you're in an operating room right now.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I am, sir. I'm in operating room. Yes, I'm available for trial. Go right ahead.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: California doctor attended his Zoom traffic court hearing while in the middle of surgery. The Medical Board of California says it will investigate him. I mean, some people might say that's just multitasking, Jesse.
WATTERS: I don't have a problem with it. I beat a speeding ticket on "WATTERS' WORLD" a couple shows back. No big deal.
PERINO: Katie?
PAVLICH: I don't think -- I don't know. I guess there's a silver lining in the pandemic. You can multitask because of Zoom. But if I were the patient, I would be very worried about having my doctor doing traffic court while he's opening up my body to do something. It's pretty scary.
WATTERS: No, you're sedated.
PERINO: Greg, said he had a colleague there who had everything covered.
GUTFELD: I could safely say that I do not want a surgeon to multitask. They have -- they're responsible for one task, and that is surgery. But I'm sure he had the judge in stitches.
PERINO: Top that, Juan.
PAVLICH: Good one.
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, I think doctors and dentists, those people play music while they operate. But I would not be a happy patient if I saw that video and said the guy is working on me and he's over there worried about traffic court.
You know, lawyers and doctors often go at it, but this is -- this is out of control. This is -- I think this is malpractice.
PERINO: All right, we'll see what happens with all of that. Thanks, guys. "ONE MORE THING" is up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Time for "ONE MORE THING." Jesse.
WATTERS: We just talked about a migrant crisis on our southern border. Now, there is a meat crisis Greg. Border Patrol agents have caught some smuggler bringing in over 200 pounds of bologna hidden in the seat of their car.
Bologna containing pork is illegal in the United States. They're not sending their best, let me tell you. They did also another confiscation two weeks ago, another 200 pounds. It's really overwhelming the system. Maybe that's why we got a $1.9 million billion thing. Who knows?
But anyway, most importantly, former White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany is going to be on "THE FAULKNER FOCUS" tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. It's an exclusive. It'll be her first interview since leaving the White House. So, definitely take a look at that.
GUTFELD: There won't be any baloney there, Jesse. See what I did there? This is veteran TV stuff. All right, this is me, Greg's jumpstart your week. Hey, it's Monday, you got to get off to a good start, so why not -- why not a jump like this one? Check out this fellow.
That is another miraculous bush baby. I want one of these things. But I'm figuring there has to be some kind of catch. No pun intended, or maybe a pun intended, because they're so adorable but nobody has them. They must steak or leave really large poops. I don't know. Or maybe it's a combo. Write to me, bush baby experts.
WATTERS: I know what I'm getting you for a Secret Santa.
GUTFELD: Yes. Look at that.
PERINO: Elena will appreciate that, Jesse.
GUTFELD: All right, Juan.
WATTERS: Maybe not.
WILLIAMS: Well, they are cute. All right, I want you to take a look at this and ask you what do you see here, folks? Yes, yesterday several golfers wore red shirts and black pants at the final round of the WCG Workday Championship in Florida. They were all honoring the ailing Tiger Woods. Rory McIlroy, Patrick Reed, Jason Day were among the golfers wearing a Tiger-inspired fashion ensemble.
Now, Woods saw the tribute on television from his former -- from his fellow golfers as he was in the hospital. He tweeted that seeing his signature color combination was a caring gesture and he felt touched. "To every golfer, every fan, you're truly helping me get through this tough time." Get well, Tiger.
GUTFELD: Dana Perino.
PERINO: So, you had jumpstart Monday. I'm going to do a pick me up Monday. I don't have a graphic though. So, check this out. Brandy is a tabby cat, was reunited last week with her owner Charles, who adopted her as a two- month-old kitten in 2005. Brandy wandered out of Charles's backyard one night 15 years ago and he was never able to track her down until she turned up at an animal shelter 40 miles away last week.
They were reunited because Brandon had a chip implant. That's like pretty - - that's pretty incredible, guys. Let's have a hand for that little cat getting back.
GUTFELD: I don't believe this. 15 years?
PERINO: 15 years.
GUTFELD: 15? Come on.
PERINO: If you love them, set them free, and they will return to you? I want to just -- can I do a plug?
WATTERS: You're doing cat stories now, Dana?
PERINO: Can I do it -- yes, can I just do a quick plug?
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: MinuteMentoring.com, you want to check this out. I did an interview with Lydia Fenet. Her paper book is out today. It's called the most powerful woman in the room. And she has got a new chapter in there. It's fantastic especially if you're trying to figure out how to do all this in the middle of COVID. So, you can watch that video interview at MinuteMentoring.org.
GUTFELD: And your book comes out --
WATTERS: I'm going to start mentoring.
GUTFELD: Your book comes out next Tuesday, correct?
PERINO: Yes. That's amazing. Is it going to be on the New York Times bestseller list?
PERINO: I don't know. I hope so. Come on.
GUTFELD: You better hope so because I will crush you. I have a five.
PERINO: OK. I have two.
GUTFELD: I'm just putting it out there. Katie?
PAVLICH: Well, I started reading Dana's book and it's very good.
PERINO: Thank you, Katie.
PAVLICH: But my "ONE MORE THING," there are two things that everybody loves on road trips, maps, and snacks. So, last weekend, I was driving back from New York after being in New York all week to host "FOX NEWS PRIMETIME." And I look back at Gadsden and I'm like, what is he laying on. What is that? There's like a blue strip down there.
So, I like go to pull it out. And he was laying on a bag of chips and using it as a pillow during the ride home. And of course, he didn't wake up so --
PERINO: It's kind of crunchy.
PAVLICH: I guess he's a good dog for not tearing into the bag and eating all of it. But he didn't smash them. He just was using it as a pillow. So, it's pretty funny.
PERINO: Very cute.
WATTERS: Those are good chips. They're not as good Cape Cod, you know, the kettle-cooked chips, but they're a close second.
PERINO: Cape Cods are good.
WILLIAMS: Yes, but Katie, you're the one that took the chips.
PAVLICH: I'm glad he didn't eat them.
WILLIAMS: I don't think the dog took them.
PAVLICH: Well, I was like -- no, he was using it as a pillow. I mean, you got to need all the snacks for the ride home.
GUTFELD: This whole conversation is deeply offensive because I don't eat chips.
PERINO: I've seen a new commercial possibility.
GUTFELD: All right, that's it for us. "SPECIAL REPORT" is up next. Hey, Bret.
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