Published January 14, 2015
“Yee ha!” When it comes to saddle up, ride ‘em cowboy or cowgirl action, lovers can’t get bucked enough. In their desire for variety and novelty, people are on an endless quest to assume new positions. This is reflected in the plethora of sexual positions materials out there.
Books, packed with diagrams, photos or illustrations, boast never before tried positions for every day of the year. By turning rodeo lovers into naked Twister acrobats, lovers are promised tips on how to hit hot spots or realize different orgasms.
But with hundreds of sexual positions to assume, which ones are best?
The answer to this question boils down to what your needs are. Are you hoping to have a favorite hot spot stimulated? Are you looking for a total body experience? Are you dealing with special circumstances that require a little bit of experimentation?
There are times when you may find yourself needing to experiment. Couples need to approach sexual intimacy differently when dealing with a temporary or life-long disability. Infertility issues demanding more sex can also force lovers to expand their sexual repertoire. Then there’s the matter of taking advantage of unique opportunities when they present themselves.
While you likely have tried-and-true positions for guaranteed enjoyment, lovers have nothing to lose by shaking things up on occasion. Even the slightest of subtle shift transitions during lovemaking can make for an entirely new experience and pleasure discovery.
While experimenting with any of the following, it’s important to remember a couple of things:
1. While not every position is orgasm-inducing, the circumstances in which sex is had can make all of the difference when it comes to your satisfaction. Sometimes, it’s the mere experience of having sex outdoors, in the car, or in different rooms of your house that makes the endeavor all that and then some.
2. Don’t think that the more challenging the position, the better or the greater the fulfillment. If you’re not flexible or acrobatic enough to attempt Kama Sutra-style positions, they’re likely going to do little for you.
Side-by-side positions allow for greater intimacy, with spooning offering easy, relaxed sex plus massaging, kissing, hugging, teasing, and easy hot spot access to the one being spooned.
Goal: Female Orgasm
Woman-on-top is one of the most ideal positions for female orgasm, putting the woman in charge of her pleasuring. She has control over the depth, angle, and speed of action, with both partners having easy access to her erogenous zones. Her lover will become aroused in seeing her, watching the action and feeling her body.
Goal: Furniture Sex
You’ll look at that love seat in your living room in a whole new light with a little bit of straddle action. The lover in control can use the back of the couch for control while putting on a show. Don’t forget to take the action to your daybed, armless chair, rocker, footstool, hammock, exercise equipment ...
Goal: Sex during Late Pregnancy
With a rapidly growing belly, lovers can feel out of commission for a bit. As outlined in my co-authored book, “Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Sex Secrets Every HOT Mama Should Know,” there are plenty of ways parents-to-be can enjoy each other as D-day approaches.
Goal: Voluptuous Sex
If you or your lover could be described as a plus size, you can still have great sex with a little assistance. Balance, joint stress, and other issues can be alleviated with cushions and pillow as bolsters. Using your headboard or footboard for support can help as well.
Goal: Quickie Sex
Standing sex can allow you to have unrestrained sex almost anywhere while maintaining full-body contact and mobility. Lovers of different heights can use a sturdy couch, bench, or other elevated platform for some basic instinct action.
Goal: You Want to Conceive
Couples have often tried all kinds of crazy positions in an effort to conceive. So which is best? The answer: there’s no evidence to suggest that one special position is likelier to lead to conception. The key to conception is timing, that is, having sex 48 hours before and on the day of ovulation.
It can be overwhelming to sift through the sexual positions resources available to you. With sexual positions one of their top two video categories, the Sinclair Institute’s “Better Sex” video series is a great starting point for those wanting sexually explicit sex education.
If a book is more your thing, sexologist Eric Garrison’s Mastering Multiple Position Sex gives great, thoughtful play-by-play instruction – from foreplay to trying several positions – not found in other works. After all, it’s important to remember that any position you acquire is just part of the entire sexual scenario.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."