Published December 20, 2015
Are you a “true patriot” looking for an internship where you won’t be dealing with any “vapid granolas?” Well Rep. Steve Stockman apparently has the job for you.
Stockman, R-Texas, only has a few months left of his Capitol Hill tenure after he failed in his Republican primary attempt to unseat Texas Sen. John Cornyn. He subsequently is giving up his House seat.
However, the self-described “most unique and courageous conservative” in the House apparently is planning to go out with a bang, and wants “true patriot” interns to help him with “meaningful projects” through the end of the year.
Although the listing does not say which lawmaker the internship is for, the Washington Post reported Tuesday it is clear the listing is for Stockman. A contact email address for the listing also matches with the name of a current Stockman staffer, according to Legistorm.
In the anonymous job posting, the “Texas Representative” requests interns provide a “confident, vigorous intellect and no drama” to his staff.
“Ideal candidates will be true patriots who can count up to 17 in trillions, and care more about future generations than they do about sucking up to current leadership,” it reads.
In case you’re unsure if you fit the bill of a “true patriot,” Stockman knows exactly who he DOESN’T want.
“Mushy pleasers/appeasers keep walkin,’” the listing says. “HINT: vapid granolas who fear guns, hate babies, are ashamed of America, and think Islamic terrorists and illegal aliens are just misunderstood will not be comfortable here.”
There’s just one catch.
“Alas, we cannot pay you,” the listing reads.