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Ivy League football team gets ruthlessly mocked after losing game in dumbest way possible
By Zach Dean
Published October 17, 2026
We had an Ivy League thriller during Friday night's three-pack college football weekend appetizer, with the University of Pennsylvania and Columbia going down to the wire in Philadelphia.
That's right. Penn and Columbia. While the rest of the country flipped between Memphis, App State and Purdue, I was locked in the Ivy League battle of the year.
It's called GRINDING, folks. Look it up.
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Penn Quakers face off with the Dartmouth Big Green during a game on Oct. 4, 2025, at Franklin Field in Philadelphia, Pa. (Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
Anyway, I'm glad I was, because this one had it all. Big moments. Big comebacks. Big plays. And, of course, a finish that left me utterly speechless on multiple different levels.
Before we dive into the Xs and Os, take a look:
Feel like an Ivy League school should've thought this through
Amazing. You just don't expect that sort of foolishness out of an Ivy League roster, right? Sure, there are other programs where you wouldn't be surprised to see this level of idiocy (I won't name names), but not Penn. Not the IVY LEAGUE.
These are supposed to be the smartest dudes on the planet, and they can't run a simple fire drill with the clock ticking down? Get on the ball and SPIKE it!
Why are they rushing their field goal kicker out there? There was plenty of time. He caught it was 10 seconds to go. The clock stops on a first down in college football when its under two minutes to go in a half.
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Penn Quakers running back Julien Stokes runs the ball during a game against Dartmouth Big Green on Oct. 4, 2025, at Franklin Field in Philadelphia, Pa. (Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
So the clock was stopped. There was plenty of time of left. And they instead opted to sprint the field goal unit onto the field, and have the kicker quickly try a 52-yard field goal? Clearly, the kicker had no idea what was happening, by the way. None. That's why he was the last one onto the field.
He came sprinting into the camera with four seconds left, barely lined up (he looked too close), and then came up woefully short with the kick.
Game over. Columbia wins.
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Amazing.
Penn Quakers dancers perform during the game between Dartmouth Big Green and the Pennsylvania Quakers on Oct. 4, 2025, at Franklin Field in Philadelphia, Pa. (Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
We've seen a lot of dumb football over the past week, mostly out of the NFL. You had Nick Sirianni doing dumb things across the pond with the ill-fated kickoff, and then Jayden Daniels and the Commanders running what just may be the dumbest play of all time in overtime against the Giants.
I won't put this disaster by Penn on that level, but it's up there. A quick spike of the ball, and maybe one more pass play to try and gain a free 3-4 yards would've put the kicker in a much better spot. Duh. He probably drills it if that happens.
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Instead, we got ... whatever that was.
I think we all expected better out of an Ivy League school.
https://www.foxnews.com/outkick-sports/ivy-league-football-team-ruthlessly-mocked-losing-game-dumbest-way-possible