What the hell, NFL?
They're kneeling. They're standing. They're locking arms. What's next, downward dog? Some players kneeled for the anthem in England, but stood for God Save the Queen, yeah, because the British Empire was so amazing it sent three millions Africans into slavery. The players stood for the most imperialist empire of all time. I am officially outraged. I now protest the protesters. See how easy that was? Some Redskins took a knee. So they're fine with what's on their helmet but not the flag. Maybe because this issue has only one extra ingredient: Trump. How about those Raiders? Their emblem is a pirate. I'm not sure, but I bet pirates weren't community organizers.
So kneeling is now a protest against racism. Others say it disrespects the flag. Others see it as a time to stretch their quads. That's LeSean McCoy, stretching during the anthem. He got 21 yards on 14 carries. So keep stretching, champ.
Now this all started with Colin. Nancy, can you help me with his last name?
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REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF.: Kaepernick doing what he did.
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Uh-huh, exactly. Colin took a knee. But let's not forget, he also wore socks with pigs dressed as cops on them. So don't blame Donald Trump for politicizing football. He didn't wear the socks or inject division into a game. Now you can disagree with him, but don't be shocked by him. You protest on the clock, a businessman is going to want to fire you. You run a restaurant and a waiter starts chanting, "meat is murder," you're going to fire him. That's how bosses think. Believe me, I know.
So you notice a trend here? What do the NFL, ESPN, the Emmys, the college campuses, the Democratic Party all had in common? They're all crippled by identity politics. This politics of separation replaces patriotism -- here, literally -- and wraps around your brain like a warm suffocating blanket, so goodbye football. Bow down to the new national pastime, identity politics. The worst team sport ever because we all lose.