Greg's Monologue

Gutfeld: Of course old people say they're happy

As the finish line nears, it sure beats the alternative

 

So according to a new survey, two-thirds of people over 70 are happier than at any point in their lives. Obviously, the less you have of something, the more precious it becomes, and that's time. It's more precious than gold or silver. Sorry, Mr. DeVane.

However, this is a British study, so the old folks could be joyful because they've survived socialized medicine. What doesn't kill you makes you happier.

But also a key highlight about growing old is worrying less about what people think. Here's why: The longer you're here on Earth, the more people who are born who are younger than you, there are more of them than there are older ones who croaked. So as you get closer to the finish line, there are fewer people who interest you and more people, the younger ones, who annoy you. For every John Glenn you lose, you gain two Miley Cyruses.

Previous research also finds that the 20s and 30s are the most stressful times. Makes sense: the young are less happy, because they don't know what they've got. There's the rich irony: It's not until you age and gain wisdom that you understand the fun you could've had when you were younger. Youthful impatience obscures the endless potential for joy that's standing right in front of you.

But the thing about being old, if they ask you if you're happy, of course you're going to say yes, because the alternative to being old isn't being young. It's being dead.

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 9-10PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld