Gutfeld: Trump's humility came and went like bad Chipotle
After graciously accepting a second place finish in Iowa, the Republican presidential candidate is now demanding a do-over
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 3, 2016. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hi. I'm Greg Gutfeld with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Geraldo Rivera, Eric Bolling, and she snorkels in a fishbowl, Dana Perino. "The Five."
It lasted a New York minute. I speak of Trump's humility, which came and went like bad Chipotle. After graciously accepting second place, he's now demanding a do-over -- a do do-over -- claiming an e-mail by Ted Cruz should nix the results because it falsely suggested that Ben Carson was dropping out.
Now remember, Donald was the chap who pushed Canadian birtherism, a dirty trick meant to keep folks from supporting Ted.
So, now he's calling Cruz a sleaze. Please. If Ted were on "The Apprentice," Donald would crown him winner for that move. So save the whine. It's a shame because Trump just admitted that skipping The Fox debate had hurt him, which means you can teach an old dog new trick, and that trick here was grace.
But, now he's back to his old self. He blames Iowans for not appreciating him and bashes the media he so easily dominates. Who's that remind you of? And isn't skipping a debate a lot like skipping a national security meeting? Are we sure Trump isn't Obama in orange face?
Anyway, this smacks of that rich kid on the block who when he loses a coin toss, takes the ball and goes home. In this case, the ball is the media, that drooling horde wondering what's in it for them. My advice: Let's do it over. We'll fly back to Iowa. I love the place and I left a charger in the bathroom.
Let's do ...
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: That was yours?
GUTFELD: Yes, that was yours, sorry, Kimberly. I left a lot of things in Kimberly's room. All right. Some things I will never get back.
Anyway, but let's do the debate over, too, with Trump this time. Get everybody out there to trudge through the snow, to the churches and the classrooms. Make them all vote again. Because that's what Trump wants and what he wants, he gets. Talk about presidential. He'll get fewer votes than Geraldo.
GUILFOYLE: Aww.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Oh.
ERIC BOLLING CO-HOST: Oh.
GUTFELD: I didn't want you to see that coming. OK ...
GERALDO RIVERA, CO-HOST: I didn't.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: I didn't. Ted Cruz has responded to Trump earlier today in Hocksett, New Hampshire? Sure?
PERINO: I don't know.
GUTFELD: I think I hope I said I'm sorry, people on Hocksett. Anyway, here's Ted responding. Interesting.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. TED CRUZ, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: It is no surprise that Donald is throwing yet another temper tantrum, or if you like, yet another Trumper tantrum. It seems his reaction to everything is to throw fit to engage in insults.
He doesn't actually want to talk about issues. Donald does not want to defend his lifelong support for socialized medicine, for Bernie Sanders- style socialized medicine.
Donald wants to expand ObamaCare so that the federal government is in charge of your healthcare and my healthcare, is in charge of your doctor and my doctor. He doesn't want to discuss his support for eminent domain, for taking private property and giving to it giant corporations and casinos.
I wake up every day and laugh at the latest thing Donald has tweeted, because he's losing it. But we need a Commander-in-Chief, not a Twitter-in- Chief. We need someone with judgment and the temperament to keep this country safe.
I don't know anyone who would be comfortable with someone who behaves this way, having his finger on the button. I mean, we're likely to wake up one morning and Donald, if he were president, would have nuked Denmark.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ohh.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, the Danes!
GUTFELD: Dana, Dana, let's talk about the Danes.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: What are you saying now?
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. What do you make of -- OK, hey, what do you make of this whole controversy and Cruz' response?
PERINO: Well, you know, yesterday, we had to pick our favorite times from the night and I said that I thought that Cruz and Hillary did not have great speeches but that Trump and Rubio had very good ones and that would allow them to pivot well as they went to New Hampshire.
And that was true. And I was like, okay, if it goes there and especially, I thought, if Trump comes in second in Iowa and then does this gracious pivot and goes to New Hampshire and works his tail off and works for every single vote, then he will have earned it like a great way and people could rally behind him and instead today is like a total meltdown.
Carson, I understand -- do we want to talk about that, like the Carson issue?
GUTFELD: We - I have sought of him.
PERINO: OK. I'll wait.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: No, no, I'll wait. I'll let other people comment.
GUTFELD: Oh, how nice of you.
PERINO: Yes. And then I will make my fabulous point after that.
GUTFELD: OK. If you remember, Eric, we had a great time at the "Embassy Suites."
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes, we did.
GUTFELD: We spent a lot of money in that bar. Why not go back?
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We sent Bolling ...
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: . bill at one point, I'm going to pick up your tab?
PERINO: Wait, and we looked great in Iowa.
GUILFOYLE: Yes.
BOLLING: So Trump is blaming Cruz for his loss in Iowa. It didn't have anything to do with Cruz. It had to do with the turnout of the vote. Remember we were talking about if it's a high turnout, the evangelical vote total would probably go down as a percentage. It didn't. It went up.
So we had a 50 percent increase in turnout and 'the evangelical vote' accounted for 64 percent of the votes. I mean, that was massive. That's why Ted Cruz, who handled 'the evangelical vote' very well, won.
Did Des Moines Register flubbed the vote, of the last poll also? So, in the aftermath of that, now we have the two big dogs fighting it out. Ted Cruz is going for blood now. He thinks he won Iowa, he needs (inaudible) and try to take Trump down in New Hampshire.
I don't think he is because after the Iowa caucuses, Trump is still up by 24 percentage points. He got Scott Brown endorsement which is huge, so, and he's Trump, by the way, has been down before.
GUTFELD: Yes.
BOLLING: He got bankrupt and negotiated with the banks and came back strong and paid all the money back. So, Ted Cruz, I'm not sure this is good for Ted in the end. I mean, because if Trump sparks it up, that's not been historically a good place.
GUTFELD: It did help him with the birth tourism, Geraldo.
GERALDO RIVERA, "GERALDO RIVERA REPORTS" HOST: Well, I may be the only person in the room who still believes that there is a legal issue as to whether or not Ted Cruz is naturally born. But let me put that aside.
I'm in the minority, so let me stay in the minority. How about this premise, Eric? That the -- you had this great turnout because people received in the mail, voter violation. It was almost as if you, if you didn't vote, if you read that Ted Cruz flier, and you didn't vote, you were fearful that you were breaking the law.
I believe a case can be made that Ted Cruz's campaign is guilty of a misdemeanor, the misdemeanor being falsely representing an official document. It is a misdemeanor under Iowa law. I believe the Iowa Secretary of State, Paul Pate, a Republican by the way, agrees with me. Misleading voters by making something -- pointing something off to make it appear as if it is a public document when in fact it is a private mailer, an advertisement for you to come out and vote.
GUTFELD: It's definitely a dirty trick.
RIVERA: But no. Lying about Ben Carson is a dirty trick, that this is not a crime. That's a dirty trick. This is a crime. This is, I believe, a case can be made that the Cruz campaign is guilty of the misdemeanor, of falsely representing an official document.
GUTFELD: Kimberly ...
GUILFOYLE: Yes?
GUTFELD: ... let's run some tape of Ben Carson today.
GUILFOYLE: And I think he has a good point, by the way, that could be checked out.
RIVERA: Thank you.
GUILFOYLE: And it doesn't matter, like who could have benefited? Unclear, but it doesn't, you know ...
BOLLING: Is there nowhere on that document that says this is not an official document?
RIVERA: On the envelope, it says -- it does say, in relatively small print given the context of the document, mailed by the Cruz campaign.
GUTFELD: This is not a document. This is not a document.
(CROSSTALK)
RIVERA: No, I'm telling you. Don't laugh. This is the Secretary of State. This is the real ...
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: On the envelope.
RIVERA: ... a real deal.
GUTFELD: Could we roll a little bit of Ben Carson? Always being Ben Carson, the super nice guy.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Dr. Carson, do you think it obviously affected the results - your results (inaudible) which did put you to (inaudible)?
BEN CARSON, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I think it did, yes. I was getting a lot of intelligence from a lot of different places saying that I was going to do extraordinarily well. And I do think it affected that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Yeah. So, listen, I think this issue does matter. Sometimes it does matter. You can't just say, like I think it does for Hillary Clinton versus Sanders. That Sanders got credible points there but this ridiculous coin toss situation and counting people twice when it's especially that close the margin of error.
So, yes. Sometimes it's important to let things go but sometimes it's not. Sometimes you need to stick with it because you should have justice prevail.
Ted Cruz said, oh, okay, sorry. But you what? I think this casts like a shadow of doubt about him and his campaign. And if he knows that this happened, he apologized for it. Why not identify the staffers that were complicit and remove them from the campaign? Otherwise you're condoning it.
Why would you want somebody to deliberately try to mislead voters so that they would change their vote? That sounds like people that, you know, used to work for Hillary Clinton or something. I mean, do these people have like, worked for HRC on their resume?
BOLLING: Is it possible, though that when CNN put that press release out, or whatever they did, and then the Cruz people jumped on it like a good campaign would, if they were thinking it was a real release. Is it possible that their fault is that they didn't correct it and maybe they got caught up in the hype of, hey, Ted Cruz, our guy is winning. Is this ...
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: But it's like multiple instances of it and they still have ...
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: The CNN corrected it when it came out until, you know ...
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Let me ask, you had a point?
PERINO: I just want to say that Carson outperformed in the polls but he was still well behind. So, I still think he would have come in fourth, regardless. And the reason Trump lost was that Cruz overperformed and Trump underperformed. It's that actually kind of simple when you look at it.
I also quibble with one thing. I don't think the Scott Brown endorsement in New Hampshire is a big deal. I think in 20 -- when did we just have the last election? 2014? So much resources poured in to try to get Scott Brown elected there. It didn't work.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: He's been doing these backyard barbecues where literally thousands of people show up and he's tried to become like a king maker up there. It certainly doesn't - I bet you they don't want it.
PERINO: You mean, Scot Brown from Massachusetts or (inaudible) New Hampshire? I just don't think -- I don't think it is that big deal. I think Trump is a much bigger deal. Like, he has that huge lead. I would hope that he has learned enough as a candidate not to further blow it and just work hard, try to meet as many people as he can and show up at the debate on Saturday night and try to do a really good job.
GUTFELD: Cruz apologized to Ben Carson. Carson accepted it.
RIVERA: They said the reporter didn't ask the right question.
GUTFELD: Right.
RIVERA: The right question was, here is the voter violation that you sent out.
(CROSSTALK)
RIVERA: Now the third paragraph states that, it was misleading to voters and it may violate the law that says faulty representing an official document.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: But that has nothing to do with Carson.
RIVERA: But here's the question for Ted Cruz. Senator Cruz, did you know that your campaign was using this voter violation ...
BOLLING: We're talking about ...
RIVERA: No. I appreciate this.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: ... Ben Carson dropping out of the race.
RIVERA: I don't think there's a crime. There's not a crime with Ben Carson. That's not a crime. But this is a big deal.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Geraldo answers the question he hears.
RIVERA: To let this lie ...
GUTFELD: Right. RIVERA: ... without really exploring it in a legal context ...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right.
RIVERA: ... you miss the point. The point is this voter violation mailer, did Ted Cruz know that his campaign was arguably committing a misdemeanor?
BOLLING: You know, who should be maddest about the Ted Cruz/Ben Carson thing? Donald Trump. Because if there are voters who said, you know what, Carson's out, I'm an evangelical myself, I'm going to go vote Cruz. Maybe that was a vote that may or could have possibly gone to Trump.
GUTFELD: Yes. But who knows? We'll never know.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Unless we do it again.
BOLLING: And you can get your charger back.
GUTFELD: Exactly.
PERINO: How many people really, like, when you look at a document like that, how many, was he just throwing that stuff ...
GUTFELD: Yes, like a -- it is a Nigerian e-mail. I mean, I only answer those ...
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: You'd be surprised. Me, I investigate a lot of these types of things where during campaigns of if there were problems with them in San Francisco, people send out the mailers. There's people been prosecuted for it because they try and break bonds literally to confuse people. Like people that refinance right now. Call this number, you're going to lose your house.
(CROSSTALK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's very ...
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: I think it's very likely ...
GUILFOYLE: There's a tremendous amount of ...
PERINO: ... I think it's very likely if they give you the vote in Iowa, that Cruz would win by more and Trump would win by less -- with get less votes and Rubio would probably come in second.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Well, on that note, let's move on, shall we?
BOLLING: Sure, Greg. Who said that?
GUTFELD: He is not the front-runner. But the sound of the attacks that gets to him, you think he was, is Marco Rubio the biggest threat to the other candidates ahead of New Hampshire?
Plus, another Republican candidate dropped out of the race today. That's ahead on "The Five."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: Kind of a funny song for this segment because they are calling it "Marcomentum," Marco Rubio's Iowa bump. The Florida senator is now trying to capitalize off of his strong show in there. But they might -- but that that may not be as easy as he thinks because his competitors are after him. Even though he's not leading the New Hampshire polls, he has quickly turned to be public enemy number one.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: The headline is, winner of the night. Marco Rubio. Trump, humiliated. How come the guy that comes in third, isn't this typical reporter? The media, the worst people ever. The worst.
JEB BUSH, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: There's not going to be any, any -- just lay down. Everybody is going to say, oh, my gosh, Marco Rubio is the guy. He's going to have to earn it and he's going to have to do what Chris Christie and John Kasich and I do and other candidates do.
CHRIS CHRISTIE, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I'm not the boy in the bubble. We know who the boy in the bubble is out here. He never answers your questions. He is constantly scripted and controlled. Because he (inaudible). SO if Senator Rubio gets here, when the boy in the bubble gets here, I hope you guys ask him some questions.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: So is Rubio ready to take on the fire? Last night he gave Megyn Kelly some insight on how he plans to keep the "Marcomentum" going.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARCO RUBIO, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: But I think Chris didn't perform very well last night in Iowa and sometimes when people get disappointed they react poorly, but I really want this campaign to be (inaudible) about ultimately nominating the right person, a real Conservative that will unify the party, grow the conservative movement and then win this election.
Hillary Clinton cannot be the president of the United States and that's what I'm going to focus on. And someone said something that is not true, we'll address it, but we're going to keep our focus on what matters here.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: All right. K.G.
GUILFOYLE: Yes?
PERINO: The average Iowa resident was exposed to 34 minutes of negative attack ads against Rubio, and that was just from right to rise which was a Jeb Bush pack. So what Marco Rubio people would say is that, hey, we weathered the storm in Iowa. They think they can do it in New Hampshire. But I think there's going to be more after him than just those guys.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, which I recall is like the "Death Star". "Death Star."
PERINO: I could take -- yes.
GUILFOYLE: It's kind of "Star Wars." Cute. Listen. Marco got a little battle tested there. It's OK. You want to be able to take those hits and get some competition. Weather it. See how you hold up because it benefits everybody that wants to get somebody from GOP or Conservative in the White House.
You want someone that's going to be able to go tough in the general elections so, come on, take the hit. May the best person win, man or woman. See? He's got immense call (ph), isn't it great? And see what happens. You know? But I think his performance was very good.
People said, OK, we'll (inaudible), you know, Marco won because he wasn't expecting necessarily to be in that third place spot. Sure, everybody did well, got record numbers for the caucus, for the turnout. I like that because it shows the enthusiasm on the GOP side which is what you want.
You want people to get out to vote, especially for the general election. And right now, Marco is showing that he can do that and he has to do that because he is up against Kasich and Christie to get kind of that, you know, corner of the vote.
PERINO: And speaking of Christie, Greg, earlier today, Governor Christie said that -- basically said that Marco Rubio is the boy in the bubble.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: I don't know ...
GUTFELD: If that's the case, then Christie is the bubble in a boy. I actually like Christie. I understand that he's frustrated, but he should not be frustrated at Rubio. He should be mad at Trump because Trump drank his milkshake. I mean, it's the quote ...
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: ... what's the quote? "There will be blood", Daniel Plainview. It wasn't Rubio that got in the way of Christie. It was Trump because who was the blood guy -- who is the blustery guy, who is the aggressive guy before Trump got there? It was Christie.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
BOLLING: Can I respond that you know Christie - Christie, but for Christie to say that Marco Rubio has been the boy in the bubble, that is really unfair.
On Thursday night, during that debate, Megyn Kelly ran a montage -- Sound on Tape Montage of how Marco Rubio's whatever over the course of a year as he's changed to where he is on immigration.
She grilled him. No one got a harder beating that night. Maybe Ted Cruz got some, too, but Marco Rubio was grilled by those three that night. And he came back three days later, or four days later and won the Iowa - variable won the Iowa caucus because he came from the farthest behind the competition.
RIVERA: You're a person that Trump was just criticizing
BOLLING: No. No. I think Donald Trump also performed well and did all three of the top ...
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: Marco's goal was to get in third place.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: ... all got the most votes in the history of the Iowa caucuses. All three of them.
RIVERA: All three. I have to say about Marco Rubio, I've never been a big fan of his but I thought that he was charming and I thought very effective. And when he came up to make his concession victory speech, I was very impressed.
Again, Chris Christie, to take up where Greg left off, rightly pointed out that what Rubio did in his speech was go to bat to the same stump speech that he's always giving. He gave it at the convention, you know, when he was nominating Mitt Romney.
He's given the same speech over and over, but when I really listened to it, it's a great speech. He was very congenial. Very family-oriented. I thought he was very effective and he's a very potent candidate, I must say.
PERINO: However, K.G., Jeb Bush polling second in New Hampshire and a couple of polls, even above Kasich, so that could also be interesting to watch.
GUILFOYLE: Listen, I'm very excited about New Hampshire. I'm not sure exactly about our hotel accommodations. Checking that out.
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: I'm currently accepting offers.
BOLLING: I got a camper.
GUILFOYLE: Perfect. That's what I love. Yes. No, but ...
BOLLING: Do you love a camper? We can leave early.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: I got big thermos of coffee.
BOLLING: Kimberly got no camp.
PERINO: Eric. Eric.
GUILFOYLE: OK, I'm no camper.
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: I have an answer to that question.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: A camper from like the Lego set.
GUILFOYLE: OK, whatever. So, here's the deal. I get why Christie is doing this. Christie has worked very hard for the past year. He's been very consistent and meetings and things I've listened in the on, et cetera.
He always said that he was going to go hard in New Hampshire, that's where he felt his message could resonate so we get a tremendous amount with town halls.
He needs to bump out somebody like Rubio or Kasich, who has a lot of endorsements there and momentum as well in order to finish very strong in New Hampshire. Right? That was his big investment.
Just like Marco's investment was I want to get third place in Iowa so I can be 3, 2, 1. That was his strategy. OK? So effectively was able to make that happen.
Trump did fantastic, got a tremendous amount of votes. He was able to get in second spot and everyone's saying Trump or Cruz. They thought Trump would be able to take it. No one ever thought Donald Trump would be anywhere other than first or second place in Iowa and that was a big accomplishment.
So this is a real race now. This, I think, is going to really tell the tale in New Hampshire. It's like Iowa was like kind of the primer and now we're going into this. Let's see what's going to happen because people are going to have to bump out if they don't do well.
PERINO: And up to now. I think because -- I think Marco Rubio actually really likes Chris Christie. A lot of people do, so it's hard if you like somebody to pop him one, but in this debate, I think he's probably going to have to.
That is all.
GUILFOYLE: How cute are her little fists when's she says, pop them one.
PERINO: All right. Still to come, "The Fastest 7" (ph). But first, some of Hillary Clinton's critics say she's been screaming of it too much on the campaign trail. That apparently makes them sexist, according to the political world's most infamous screamer, Howard Dean. We have that next.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God, remember that?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HILLARY CLINTON, PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I will fight for criminal justice reform and end the era of mass incarceration. I will fight against the Republicans' continuing desire to privatize Social Security, that will never happen on my watch.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: All right. Hillary Clinton's hair-raising tone on the campaign trail has garnered a lot of criticism. Many are saying she needs to cut it out and tone it down. But did you know that criticism is sexist? That's correct. Sexist. Well, that's according to Clinton's surrogate, Howard Dean.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HOWARD DEAN, DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN: Look, I'm going to say this, and I'm going to get jumped for it, but I got to do it. If she Were a male and she were making these kinds of speeches, would people be criticizing her for taking out ...
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, my God, that's desperate.
(CROSSTALK)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: That's rich coming from the screamer. Interesting point, right? Remember the guy who lost the nomination because of this?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DEAN: Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going on South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico. We're going to California and Texas and New York. And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House. Yeah!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: That never gets old. Oh, my gosh! He's kind of a friendly nice guy. One time I was in a hot tub in Mexico. I swear to God! I was like, trying to relax for five seconds like, just ready to like, crush a delicious margarita on the rocks. And there he was, screamer on the phone. What do you need, Howard? He wanted an endorsement.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh.
PERINO: From who?
GUILFOYLE: From the (inaudible). Not the queen of the hot tub. That would have been a better endorsement. But anyway ...
RIVERA: I don't think the ...
GUTFELD: That's a great story.
(CROSSTALK)
RIVERA: ... of Hillary is. I was just picturing Howard Dean in the hot tub with you.
GUILFOYLE: He wasn't in the hot tub. He was on the phone. Please. He didn't win the life lottery. He was just asking for an endorsement. No, no, no.
RIVERA: That's bigger than the White House.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, yes, yes.
RIVERA: I think that Hillary's problem -- and I'm serious about this -- she may be hard of hearing. And the reason I say that is when you're with headphones and you listen to music, and someone asks you a question, you speak up: "Well, what do you say, Eric?" Because you hear yourself.
GUTFELD: Yes.
RIVERA: And it's just almost as if she's speaking as if she doesn't have a microphone and talking to the big room. She has to fire her audio guy or understand that, if you don't have a microphone, you don't to have scream. And I think that's a big...
GUILFOYLE: Maybe they've got to adjust the audio.
PERINO: Could you tell Juan that?
BOLLING: Isn't it time for Howard Dean to step aside? I mean, do you realize that during that same interview this morning, he said that Hillary Clinton wasn't -- was not, in fact, paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for speeches at UCLA, UNLV and NYU or one of the other schools in New York. In fact she was. He's completely off. He's just -- he's literally just Clinton-splaining, if I may borrow a phrase.
PERINO: That's a good one.
BOLLING: Very interesting, though, out of Iowa in the aftermath of the caucuses. Bernie Sanders somehow got 84 percent of the vote among people under 30 years old.
GUILFOYLE: What does that tell you? Huge.
BOLLING: That's whopping. Young people are flocking to Bernie Sanders, I guess for the free stuff.
But conversely, Hillary got 69 percent of the vote of people 65 years and above. So one of those two have to either tap into the other one's base right now. And the base for Hillary is the elder/seniors. And the base for Bernie is young people. It's amazing how that's bifurcated. I would have thought it would be the opposite.
And by the way, Donald Trump didn't go bankrupt. I'm getting destroyed on Twitter for that. So just -- of note.
GUILFOYLE: Thank you for clearing that up.
RIVERA: We were really worried.
GUILFOYLE: ... banking (ph).
All right. Greg, you actually have an answer to what Bolling was saying. Because he said the reason why all these young people were supporting and voting is because they forgot, don't know, weren't born or around.
GUTFELD: It's not just young people. It's young females. So I mean, according to Howard Dean, all of these single women are sexist, because they prefer an elderly white male over a charming, rather loud female. So they're clearly -- it's women who are most sexist.
And I would also say Howard Dean is sexist for lowering his expectations for Hillary because she's a woman, obviously. And has someone asked Howard about Hillary's own sexist behavior regarding the victims of Hillary's husband's aggressive affections? And is pointing out that sexist?
GUILFOYLE: You're totally right. It's so true. My friend Vivienne (ph), nice young lady, She was like, "Oh, I really love that Bernie Sanders." And I was like, "Oh, my God." And it was crazy at the hair salon.
PERINO: I'll just come out and -- Some people are just blessed and born with a really good voice.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
PERINO: And that's usually men. You have a good one. I would put you in a category. President Obama is somebody who has a voice that, it sounds -- he won an Emmy for when he read his book. He read -- people just liked to listen to him. The voice was easy on the ear.
GUTFELD: And that was for his voice.
PERINO: Megyn Kelly for a woman has, actually, an incredible voice that carries on television. And even for me, you have to, like, try to final your, like, deeper register. Because women typically have a higher register. Sarah Palin struggles with that, I think, because sometimes, like, it goes way up. And then, like, people are distracted by the tone.
So Hillary Clinton is dealing with that. You could say -- you could say that it's sexist also. It's just reality.
GUTFELD: We also -- look, I was the first one to rag on Cruz about his voice.
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: So I mean, we're equal opportunity offenders.
PERINO: Right.
GUTFELD: My voice is annoying. I'm tired of my own voice.
PERINO: I have a terrible voice. Nobody likes to listen to the sound of your own voice. But if the voters don't like listening to your voice, that's a bigger problem.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Let's listen to my voice.
It's the issue New Hampshire voters care most about. The heroin epidemic devastating the state. Geraldo has been doing some excellent reporting on the crisis. He'll tell us about it when "The Five" returns.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(MUSIC: BUDDY HOLLY, "THAT'LL BE THE DAY")
RIVERA: Fifty-seven years ago, the music died. Fifty-seven years ago. Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens.
No. 1 issue to the people of New Hampshire, no, it's not terrorism. No, it's not the economy. It is heroin abuse and the deadly drug epidemic spreading throughout the state, where more than 400 people died from drug overdoses last year. Twenty-two just since the turn of this year. It is the talk of the famed Red Arrow Diner.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RIVERA: Penny and Ellen have worked here for many years. Before I talk to the town officials, ladies, have you seen the big difference in terms of what people tell you about this heroin problem?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The worst I've seen was a couple weeks ago. And it was a young girl with a baby. And she was in here, and she was literally passing out at the table with a baby sitting with her. She's sitting at the table with a nine-month-old baby, high on heroin, falling asleep. It's the saddest thing.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And every other day you're hearing somebody passed away. They O.D.'d and they just barely made it. And you're just wondering, when's it going to end?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
RIVERA: From the tiny -- well, the tiny -- Manchester is the largest city in New Hampshire over 100,000 people. This weekend alone there were 11 overdoses. Now the EMTs saved ten of the people. One passed away. Another one died yesterday.
So Kimberly, part of the problem is in the live-free-or-die state, they don't believe in spending a lot of government money for public programs like recovery or treatment centers. I think they have to balance it. You know, they've got to come around to dealing with the fact that this is an epidemic.
GUILFOYLE: It is an epidemic. And these lives do matter. And there's something that you can do to solve it, to cure it, to fix it, to save lives so families don't have tragedies like this. It's so preventable. If you invest the right amount of dollars in the infrastructure there, you can really make a difference. And that's why this message has been resonating so well with the voters there.
And you know, Chris Christie was the first one on top of this, and you've seen that on YouTube, where he's talking. So people are like, "Hey, you're actually focusing on the issues that matter to us that are crushing our families with devastation."
I've seen what happens with the drug addiction and drug abuse and the vicious cycle that can also go hand in hand with mental illness. And when you have some of these, like, you know, multiple issues that play here, the people then end up in lives of crime and violence, as well, depending, to support their addiction.
RIVERA: Does it help Chris Christie is a former prosecutor? What do you think, Eric?
BOLLING: No, I don't think so. I think -- listen, I agree. It is a huge problem. But it's not just New Hampshire that's spreading. New Jersey has a massive problem.
RIVERA: Staten Island right here in New York.
BOLLING: Because a hit of heroin is $5 now. A pill, a prescription pill, is $5 now. So these dealers are bringing them in in bulk, and it's cheaper to do that than to buy even marijuana and cocaine. It's insane what's going on.
GUILFOYLE: Cheaper than buying a Big Gulp.
BOLLING: I don't know what the answer is. It's an epidemic. It's an epidemic of massive proportions and spreading. I have no idea. Legalized, demonized, I'm lost. I'm lost. And I'm knee-deep in it with a 17-year- old, because there are kids -- oh, my God. You have no idea how I watch every single thing.
(CROSSTALK)
RIVERA: You've got to watch them like a hawk. It seems to me that, rather than immigration, this would be the better border security argument. This drug, the heroin and the Fentanyl they're using in New Hampshire and elsewhere, is coming from the Sinaloa cartel, El Chapo's Sinaloa cartel. But they're the main supplier of this Fentanyl, the ones who made the whole New England epidemic happen.
PERINO: Right. So you could be for more enforcement. I just also think that -- you know, Hillary Clinton said that she would give $10 billion to the issue and that she basically said that will solve it. And I just have very little faith that government is actually going to be able to solve this problem. I think it's deeper than that.
RIVERA: And yet, Greg, I interviewed a woman who carried her baby to term. She was addicted. The baby was born addicted. Only seven beds in the whole state. It seems the government has to spend a couple of bucks here.
GUTFELD: I agree with everything that's being said here. So I'm going to say something completely different.
We should start at the beginning of this problem, which is life is hard and drugs are good. And once you start there, you realize that the war on drugs is a war on people. It's a war on all people. It's not doing any good.
Fifty years ago you banned a joint, but you couldn't ban a martini. So you went after the jazz musician, whose life is ruined, but an advertising executive is fine. And they're both chasing the same thing, which is a cure for pain.
Right now science is realizing that a lot of these drugs are incredible and may treat all kinds of diseases. Ketamine is being used to treat depression. But because we spent so many decades demonizing these drugs, because we don't know what else to do, we're preventing research that could help millions and millions of lives.
I think this is just a case in point. The war on drugs just creates more casualties and death than if there was no war on drugs.
BOLLING: And incarcerated young people.
GUTFELD: Right.
RIVERA: And they are saying in that regard, Eric -- they are saying, even the cops are saying they cannot arrest their way out of this.
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: And you know that as a prosecutor. That's the -- that's the...
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: You're not going to spend your way out either.
GUILFOYLE: Because you've seen both sides of the issue.
RIVERA: You're not going to spend your way out of there.
We've got to lighten things up a bit, coming right up. Super Bowl 50, four days away. Stay tuned for one of the hot new ads airing during the big game. Coming up in "The Fastest Seven."
GUILFOYLE: Nice.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BOLLING: Welcome back. Time for...
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Fastest 7
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: I swear I had no idea about the prior segment when I picked those songs. All right. "The Fastest Seven Minutes on Television," or so. Three fine stories, seven fleeting minutes, one fired-up host.
First up, late-night comedian James Corden's popular car pool karaoke caught up with Coldplay's lead singer, Chris Martin -- enough "C's" in that intro. It was, in a word, cool.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAMES CORDEN, HOST, CBS'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW": Should we listen to some music and see what's on the radio?
(MUSIC)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Now we're going to start screen right. Greg.
GUTFELD: You know, I love the Go-Go's. I love the Bangles. I love the Runaways. But Coldplay has got to be the worst all-girl band in history.
GUILFOYLE: That's so mean.
BOLLING: Dana. It's mean, but Dana.
PERINO: It feels to me like they could -- need a little warm-up. Like warm play.
BOLLING: Very good.
GUILFOYLE: All right.
BOLLING: Geraldo.
RIVERA: Jerry Seinfeld had this idea first, didn't he?
GUTFELD: It was coffee.
RIVERA: Coffee?
GUTFELD: Comedians in cars getting coffee.
RIVERA: So now cars is the new studio. We should just do this in a '57 Chevy.
GUTFELD: There you go.
GUILFOYLE: I just wish we had it. But it's on -- is it on "The Five" Facebook? It's on our Twitter. The cutest, cutest picture of us in the car.
PERINO: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: The four of us in the car in Iowa. It's hilarious. I think it reminded me of that.
BOLLING: Were we singing? Were we -- did we sing songs?
GUILFOYLE: No, I don't think we sang, but we looked remarkably good, given the night before. We were on our way to Hannity.
GUTFELD: Pre-hangover.
BOLLING: All right. Amy Schumer, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Bud Light Super Bowl ad. I just threw the towel in on this intro. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
AMY SCHUMER, COMEDIAN: They say we're a nation divided. They say we disagree on everything.
SETH ROGEN, ACTOR/COMEDIAN: That's not true. We agree on a lot.
SCHUMER: Like Paul Rudd. Everybody loves Paul Rudd.
PAUL RUDD, ACTOR: I didn't know this was going to happen.
ROGEN: Nothing brings America together like Bud Light.
SCHUMER: That's why we're forming the Bud Light Party. Just wait until you see our caucus.
ROGEN: We've got the biggest caucus in the country.
SCHUMER: It's not, like, too big. Like, you can handle it.
America has seen the Light.
ROGEN: And there is a Bud in front of it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: I'm stuck in a caucus?
BOLLING: A gigantic what?
GUILFOYLE: Caucus. No. No one wants a caucus.
RIVERA: I love Amy Schumer, I'll tell you that.
BOLLING: Yes, she's very good. Thank you, Geraldo.
RIVERA: And I love her proportions, too. That's -- you know.
BOLLING: Yes.
GUTFELD: Just -- I want America to remember that it's a safe bet that probably none of those people in that commercial actually drink Bud Light. I don't have the facts, but I'm pretty sure.
BOLLING: Or have every barrel raced.
GUTFELD: Yes.
BOLLING: A prediction on Super Bowl?
PERINO: I've got to go with the Broncos. Home team.
BOLLING: All right. How about this? Ready for this? Bernie Sanders.
(CROSSTALK)
RIVERA: ... prediction.
BOLLING: I was trying get back on track.
RIVERA: Geraldo Rivera (ph), yes.
BOLLING: Bernie Sanders playing Rabbi Manny Shevitz in a 1999 low-budget romantic comedy. Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, it's not. It's pretty awesome. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. BERNIE SANDERS (I-VT), DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: My name is Rabbi Manny Shevitz. I remember when I used to walk down my old neighborhood in Brooklyn. That was before the Dodgers went to Los Angeles, which was the worst thing, the worst thing that ever happened. And I don't know why we let them do that.
There's always tomorrow. It could be worse. Now, let's just thank God you have your arms, you have your legs. Let's eat.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: All right. Are you trying to find out if he's really Jewish?
GUILFOYLE: What is going on with this show?
RIVERA: Is he really Jewish? Is Bernie Sanders Jewish?
BOLLING: I don't know. But I -- he was Manny Shevitz.
GUILFOYLE: Check Twitter.
BOLLING: You'd think that was Larry David if you didn't know better.
RIVERA: I think Larry David is a better Bernie Sanders than Bernie Sanders. But I -- that was funny.
GUILFOYLE: But I think that it helps Bernie that he sounds like Larry David, because he's kind of warm and funny and endearing. That's another thing that helps him, versus...
RIVERA: Is this a controversy even?
GUILFOYLE: ... sweet Hillary.
BOLLING: No. No, it's just funny. It's funny. It's 1999.
GUILFOYLE: This is supposed to be the fun block of the show.
RIVERA: Oh.
GUILFOYLE: I don't know.
RIVERA: I'm still distracted by that hot tub scene.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, hot tub.
GUTFELD: I love that Kimberly's explained the show to Geraldo.
Look, this is probably the most press this movie has ever gotten, and it came out, what, 17 years ago. You know, socialists are just so cuddly. Aren't they? They're so cute and adorable. You'd never have a free-market conservative play that.
GUILFOYLE: Totally.
PERINO: I wonder how -- about the profits from that movie.
GUILFOYLE: I bet you this movie is going to trend more than "Love Actually" now, Greg.
BOLLING: Interesting. Do you think there was any profits from them? Probably not.
All right. They want me to...
GUTFELD: It's prophetic.
BOLLING: "One More Thing" is up next.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, boy.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Time for "One More Thing." I'm going to start off. I haven't banned any phrases in a while. So I'm going to ban two. The first one I'm going to ban is "Nothing burger." And then the next phrase is -- "Whaaaaaaat?" I hate -- all right, let's start with the latter one, "Whaaaaaaat?" When somebody says something, and they respond with, "Whaaaaaaat?" Stop it. Just say, "That's interesting."
And nothing burger. That just means it's...
PERINO: Not a burger.
GUTFELD: ... nothing of note. It's not a burger, but it's stupid.
GUILFOYLE: Can I get an addendum? You know what really bothers me? Like no joke, I'm eliminate you?
GUTFELD: What?
GUILFOYLE: Is if you text me back, "Huh?" Like, H-U-H, "huh?" I mean, wow, is that ignorant.
GUTFELD: It is, it is.
GUILFOYLE: I can't -- it literally makes me so angry.
GUTFELD: Yes. So you don't talk to them again.
GUILFOYLE: I don't like it at all.
GUTFELD: I'm with you. Dana, next.
PERINO: Kimberly, she doesn't usually get irritated with things.
GUTFELD: So you're turning into me.
GUILFOYLE: The one thing. I know. You're, like, creeping on me.
PERINO: All right. So welcome to another edition of Dana's Book Club.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: Because I love it. I've read this book. It's called "Originals" by Adam Grant. It came out yesterday. He is...
GUTFELD: You already read it?
PERINO: I did. I had it -- And I was able to do a Q and A that ran on our web -- our FOXNews.com. He's an amazing author. He is -- got his Ph.D. in organizational psychology from the University of Michigan, his B.A. from Harvard.
Basically, what this book talks about is how you can be a nonconformist. Like, don't always get on the band wagon. If you want to be successful, you have to reject conformity. And it's a great book. So congratulations to him, and hope you check out the column.
GUTFELD: Well, I'm going to be a nonconformist and not read the book. How's that?
PERINO: No, you have to read the book so you can be a nonconformist.
GUTFELD: But if I do that, I violate.
BOLLING: That's Chapter 4.
GUTFELD: All right. Where am I? K.G.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. Thanks. Pull it together.
All right. So we've got something super cute, because everyone loves pets, right? Dana?
PERINO: Yes, they do.
GUILFOYLE: Look at this. This is a Canadian pet motel and foster care center.
BOLLING: You can run for president.
GUILFOYLE: A dog broke out of the kennel, a little female dog, to comfort and cuddle with two new frightened foster puppies on their first night. How cute. Her name is Maggie. She made it away from her kennel, snuggled up to the little baby dogs to give them some extra cozies so they wouldn't be stressed out. So that's sweet. So she let herself out, followed the sound. I mean...
GUTFELD: She named the two little dogs Ted and Cruz.
GUILFOYLE: And she had recently had her own little litter of puppies that were adopted. This reminds you, right? Foster pets, the dogs, pets. Patriots -- yes, Patriots for Pets?
BOLLING: Yes, one of those two.
PERINO: Patriots for Pets.
BOLLING: Pets for Patriots.
GUILFOYLE: Wonderful.
BOLLING: Shorty and Squat...
GUILFOYLE: And Moose.
BOLLING: Moose. Awesome.
GUTFELD: Eric.
BOLLING: OK. My turn?
GUTFELD: Yes.
BOLLING: So they say politics is a blood sport. Today Rand Paul stepped aside from the presidential race. He actually called me. I spoke to a very humble and very gracious Senator Rand Paul. We've been friends for a very long time. I told him how classy his speech was today.
He's been a great senator for America, and I know that he's going to continue to be a small voice for smaller government and liberty.
So good luck, Senator. He's got a big second-term race in November to go after. Good luck, Senator, and good luck Kelly, his wife.
PERINO: He needs to go win that Senate race.
BOLLING: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, let's go. A class act. He handled -- you know, he conducted himself very well in the campaign.
BOLLING: Yes.
GUTFELD: All right, Geraldo. What have you got?
RIVERA: I've got my wife's birthday, her 41st. And we celebrated. We could have gone to Polo or 21 or someplace very expensive. Instead, we went to Sammy's Roumanian downtown. The Lower East Side, my old stomping grounds.
PERINO: Where is she?
RIVERA: There's the girl. There's the girl, there's the girl.
GUTFELD: You put yourself even in your wife's birthday.
RIVERA: Shut up. That's why you weren't invited.
GUTFELD: I know. You invite me to nothing.
I'm a nothing burger.
RIVERA: You're such a Grinch. You're a nothing burger. Whaaaaaat? Huh?
GUILFOYLE: Huh? Huh, Geraldo?
RIVERA: I'm not going to read that.
GUTFELD: All right.
PERINO: Way to bring the energy today, guys.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. OK. Set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." That does it for us. "Special Report" is up next.
GUILFOYLE: Real show.
Content and Programming Copyright 2016 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2016 Roll Call, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of Roll Call. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.
Get all the stories you need-to-know from the most powerful name in news delivered first thing every morning to your inbox