Gutfeld: Climate change deal is nothing to cheer about

Obsessed over Celsius, we miss the real threats

Good news! The Paris climate thing was a smash. Hmm, I wonder if Captain Planet said this agreement represents the best chance we have to save the one planet that we've got, and believes that this moment could be a turning point for the world?

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PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: This agreement represents the best chance we've had to save the one planet that we've got. So I believe this moment can be a turning point for the world.

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Hmm. And it appears the media in the observer room hated it.

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(APPLAUSE)

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I was wrong. It's like they won a car on "Oprah." And you wonder why terrorists enter America unnoticed. It's because these dolts are too obsessed over Celsius to see the real threats. But it's no shock, they all fester in the same campus swamp where prosperity is deemed evil, but violence is a means of the powerless.

So while these fools whoop it up, our government out of fear, won't review social media posts for people who are applying for visas here. Political correctness stops the vetting of potential terrorists and so we die. I can't cheer for that.

And what of that drywall with Botox?

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SECRETARY OF THE STATE JOHN KERRY: I think it actually sends a very powerful message to the marketplace, but one of the reasons why there is no enforcement mechanism is because the United States Congress would never accept one. So it has to be voluntary. And a lot of nations resent that, but we have accepted that because we believe it's going to move the marketplace, and already you see countless new technologies, a lot of jobs being created, and I think it's going to produce its own form of oversight.

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What is he talking about? What an oaf. He makes all that ketchup he inherited seem nimble.

So why this climate party as innocents are mowed down? They didn't solve anything. It was a consensus of the senseless. The liberal reply always this, "We can chew gum and walk at the same time." Meaning, we can tackle climate change and terror. But where is the proof? Forget walking and chewing gum, Obama's climatism is like texting while driving. He's not doing two things well, but doing the wrong thing instead of the right thing at the wrong time and endangering all of us. He's driving a packed Greyhound around a tight corner, while texting Leo about the weather.

Forgive us dear media, but we aren't cheering. We're screaming.