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Let me ask you something would you want me as a personal trainer?

I'm talking a physical trainer? Your personal exercise trainer?

Yelling at you to speed it up, pump it up, feel the burn?

Of course not!

And not just because I might just show up in spandex.

But because I'm not qualified!

Let's just leave it at, "this 50-somethng shouldn't be telling anyone to drop and do 50 of anything" unless they were Krispy Kreme curls.

My point is I'm the last guy to give anyone a fitness test so why is it ok for the government to give banks a stress test?

It's just as weird?

The government totally spent judging how banks spend?

The government literally printing money policing what banks are doing with their money?

The government better at spreading the sheet going over anyone's spreadsheet?

I know the idea behind these stress tests is to see if banks are ready if another financial meltdown comes our way.

I get that. What i don't get is the coach who's doing that.

Financial types tell me, "Neil, calm down, this is the Federal Reserve. They know what they're doing."

News to me, because all I know is the Fed's been doling out trillions of dollars propping up this fake recovery, and they never explain what they're doing.

It's good to know four of our largest banks passed their financial checkup, but where's our government checkup?

Where's their stress test?

Who's following their money?

Who's tracking their rescues that never seem to rescue?

Who's grading their stimulus that never seems to stimulate?

Or bailouts that themselves need bailing out?

Who's jogging their memory about their role in a meltdown?

And whether they're remotely ready to weather the next meltdown?

Who's checking out their handouts?

Who's policing their finances while they're giving banks the finger?

Who's following what they're doing with their dough our dough? All of our dough?

I mean, don't you find it a bit rich that the same folks in Washington who all but gunned banks into lending to anyone with a pulse, are now calling the shots on what is financially prudent?

A government that's collectively added trillions to our debt policing whether banks have a few billion stashed in their vaults?

It's revolting.

Almost as revolting as me in spandex barking orders at you.

The naked gall of government bureaucrats barking theirs at anyone.

I know a lot of those guys in Washington don't have a clue.

But surely they can see their hypocrisy.

Because they gotta have a mirror.