Updated

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 4, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."

(MUSIC)

PERINO: So, it's day two of Obama on offense. Today's strategy -- try to link the GOP to the problem of his botched healthcare rollout.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Between a reckless shutdown by congressional Republicans in an effort to repeal the Affordable Care Act and, admittedly, poor execution on my administration's part in implementing the latest stage of the new law, nobody's acquitted themselves very well these past few months. So, it's not surprising that the American people's frustrations with Washington are at an all-time high.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: But not everyone is buying what he's selling. Charles Krauthammer thinks the president is out of touch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Obama thinks that he can repeal reality with rhetoric. His trouble is he has trouble governing. And here he's faced with a management problem, a government problem. He passed a bill that is so complex, the regulations are so complex and contradictory, he's got a Web site that is not functioning correctly, and he thinks that if he makes the right speeches, he says the right words, somehow it will change perception. But here, he runs up against the wall.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Meanwhile, "Politico" is reporting today that 29,000 people signed up for insurance through Healthcare.gov on Sunday and Monday.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV), MAJORITY LEADER: Let's stop this.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: And, by the way, that's Harry Reid.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: Some members of Harry Reid's staff who helped create the law aren't among the 29,000 that had to sign up for ObamaCare because they got an ObamaCare exemption. What they did, Greg, basically he said that his leadership staff --

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Right.

PERINO: -- is not going to have to go on the exchanges. The ruling earlier this year gave him the option of doing so, but interestingly, none of the other leadership offices of John Boehner, Nancy Pelosi or Mitch McConnell have done the same.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: What do you think of that?

GUTFELD: Reid is a genius. He's like Walter White in "Breaking Bad." He is like a meth dealer who never tries the drug.

The difference here is that meth is safer than ObamaCare. But he's just -- he's the guy who pushes it, but he never tries it. That's brains.

PERINO: You know, I like your analogies. I really do.

GUTFELD: Why, thank you.

PERINO: Let's get Eric in here to tell us about the latest ObamaCare -- I mean, yes. Because somebody just tweeted me and said that they were looking forward to what delusional things Bob would say today. So, let's start with you before we go to delusions.

(CROSSTALK)

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Let's do our facts for the factually challenged liberals Wednesday edition. So, 29,000 according to "Politico", 29,000 enrollees over the Saturday and Sunday, two days. Extrapolate that out, Bob, to get to 40 million people that are uninsured that you claim are uninsured in America, that takes 7 1/2 years.

Also during the same period of time -- even less. Even a shorter period of time than ObamaCare's been available to us. New Jersey gamblers in just since the last two weeks --

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Online gambling.

BOLLING: Online, have enrolled 56,000, far more than the 29,000 over the weekend, for ObamaCare. One more thing --

GUTFELD: And you're taking more of a risk with ObamaCare.

BOLLING: That's a good point.

One more number. About four Medicaid enrollees for every ObamaCare enrollee. So, four takers for every maker. The law is simply -- it's going to end up, at the end of this little experiment, going to be, if it continues to go, the biggest redistribution of American wealth in the history of this country. Period. Bar none.

PERINO: With reduced quality of health care.

GUILFOYLE: I don't think we'll ever be outdone. I think it's the record that's going to stand. Put that one in "The Guinness Book of World Records."

Here's another reason it's a big problem, because millennials said to President Obama, a majority of them are covered by their parents' insurance until they're 26 years. So they're not going to even buy into this. This is a problem with the lack of funding and economic support and framework for this which is why it's going to be a huge problem for the rest of us because those little healthy youngin's still living at home getting baloney sandwiches, they're not buying any of this. So, they're not going to log on no matter how many phony commercials you put forward to lure them into this nasty trap.

PERINO: Speaking of baloney sandwich, Bob --

(CROSSTALK)

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Do you eat baloney sandwich? First of all, you know the reason they're home getting that insurance is because of ObamaCare. That's part of ObamaCare. You know that, right?

GUILFOYLE: Well, the point is he's not going to get their dollars and cents.

BECKEL: That's correct.

GUILFOYLE: So this whole little framework that he's made, this house of cards, isn't going to stand up, Bob. That's the problem. Where's the money coming from?

BECKEL: Bring your ideas down. And I say yes, sir, brothers. Bring your ideas down. Come to the table. Bring your things -- Eric, you come on down here and give us your ideas.

Kimberly, you come, too. And we're going to put them all in there.

GUTFELD: Affordability.

BOLLING: Here's a good one.

GUTFELD: Across state lines, tax reform and tort reform.

BOLLING: Across state lines, and tort reform.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PERINO: Also, repealing the corporate welfare of the bill.

BOLLING: And repeal the corporate welfare.

GUILFOYLE: Make it attractive. Come on.

PERINO: Health savings accounts. Which are tax-free dollars, so if you decide you want to go to a chiropractor and your health insurance doesn't cover that, your money can go to pay for that rather than the government.

GUTFELD: That's a funny thing. You're right. A free market idea is incredibly simple. It works in every other industry, but it's overcomplicated by thousands of pages of bureaucratic nonsense that keeps people in their professions as bureaucratic nonsense makers.

BOLLING: Rather than try and say what's your other idea, we had another idea. It could have been helped and fixed. It was a free market solution, free market health care.

BECKEL: Which was?

BOLLING: Which was what we were doing before. We just need to -- there needed to be some tweaks to it, right?

GUILFOYLE: Look at Bob.

BOLLING: Remove the ban from -- if you're an insurance company in New Jersey, you can't sell it in New York. That is ridiculous and stupid. So you move some of those. Hold on.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Sorry. I want to get fair facts.

BOLLING: What's your other alternative, there are plenty of them out there. I don't think any of them are that good. I think the original system was probably the best. Last fact and I promise to shut up for the next eight minutes of the block.

BECKEL: No.

GUTFELD: I doubt that.

BECKEL: I do, too.

BOLLING: Trust me. If -- let's just say you go online and you get ObamaCare for 500 bucks a month, OK? A family of four, 500 bucks a month. And a $12,000 deductible which I showed you a couple of weeks in several states was the average for the lower bronze plan. That's $18,000 per year per family out of pocket first before the insurance company pays a dime, and before anyone gives anyone a penny back from the government.

Who in -- how is this possibly going to work?

GUILFOYLE: It's not.

BOLLING: It will never work.

PERINO: Those are all facts, and actually, he's being quite generous to say you can get a plan for $500 for a family of four.

BECKEL: OK.

PERINO: We have one other topic to get to, and I don't want you to shut up. We want your participation.

BECKEL: I do. Can we get a vote?

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: At the White House were youth, this is what he said. Then, we're going to tell you about a poll.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

OBAMA: But I hope you haven't been discouraged by how hard it's been, because stuff that's worth it's always hard. Civil rights movement was hard. Getting women the right to vote, that was hard. Making sure that workers had had the right to organize, that was hard.

It's never been easy for us to change how we do business in this country. This has been the case for Social Security, for Medicare, for all the great social progress that we've made in this country.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: However, Greg, are the young people buying it? Because today the Harvard Institute of Politics released a poll that said that the young people, not always the most reliable voters. And if confused, it seems, in their views. The majority of them today said they disapproved of ObamaCare, and if given the chase, they would recall ObamaCare -- President Obama, they would not vote for him today.

GUTFELD: Yes, I think the valuable lesson that they've learned is that cool doesn't reflect achievement, it actually masks incompetence. And young people often grow out of things very quickly. My niece had posters of Justin Bieber all over her room. And then suddenly, they were gone.

GUILFOYLE: Because you took them.

GUTFELD: I did. They're in my --

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: This is very easy --

GUTFELD: They're in my camper down under the underpass.

But the fact is, they could have listened to me for years. I'm like the camp counselor saying, don't play in the poison ivy. I've been saying that for years on "RED EYE", but nobody listens because it was cool to vote for Obama. Now, he's saying, oh, this is very hard, this is a very hard thing. And all good things are difficult.

It's like ObamaCare is a necessary evil, without the necessary.

PERINO: It is interesting, Bob, that they seem to have had this idea, this idea of ObamaCare, this great achievement that President Obama would achieve. And that would be his legacy.

And yet, one of the things that the president still hasn't been able to answer is, you know, he said that he was the last to know, that the Web site was going to not work out. How could it be that the president still does not know?

And in "The New York Times" today, if I could get your comment on this also, there's a trial balloon floated about all the names of the different people that might be fired as a result of this, which to me basically said, they're just trying to see which name -- which person they can fire that will be politically palatable to America.

GUILFOYLE: Awful.

BECKEL: I mean, I don't -- there's no excuse for Obama not knowing this, if he didn't know it. But, you know, the thing about young people, I don't know of a demographic group in America, given the onslaught of negative publicity about this act would not be against ObamaCare. I don't know one that is. That is in favor of it.

GUTFELD: The press.

PERINO: Why wouldn't have been true in 2012, though, for the election? Where they came out in droves to vote for him?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Well, because it has because it didn't have the onslaught of negative publicity this has had.

PERINO: Really? From the Republicans?

BECKEL: No. First of all, get back to Republicans. Did you mention the fact that people want to recall Obama and Congress, right?

PERINO: And Congress, yes.

BECKEL: OK, I'm going to make sure we got that.

GUILFOYLE: The whole lot of them.

BECKEL: And I don't -- the idea that somehow these young people --

PERINO: Everybody wants Congress gone.

BECKEL: -- they may not vote. You may be right. They may not turn out. They may not be reliable voters. One thing they're going to be sure of, they ain't going to vote Republican. That's thematic prayer (ph).

PERINO: I do think that was an interesting thing in the poll, Eric, which is if you're in the private sector, would you consider looking at this poll to look at the types of marketing decisions you might make for that younger age group?

BOLLING: All you have to do, if you get a chance, read Mark Stein's latest column. It's amazing. It points out all the flaws with President Obama. The man had never had any private sector experience.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

BOLLING: The people he surrounds himself have no private -- almost no private sector experience, much less than Bush or any of the prior presidents. And that's the problem.

BECKEL: Isn't he a British guy?

BOLLING: No, he's a Canadian.

BECKEL: OK, I see, OK.

BOLLING: He may be an American. I don't know if he's American, whatever. The guy is a brilliant writer, and he nails what's going on with ObamaCare and President Obama's presidency to the tee, to the wall.

Bob, you may want to read that and at least have an open mind when you do.

PERINO: And, Kimberly, people --

BECKEL: I have an open mind. Do you think you have an open mind?

PERINO: Hey, let me ask Kimberly, if you're in a reading mood tonight, would you consider re-reading Peggy Noonan's blog last night, which was along the same lines which is about low information readership rather than low information voters?

GUILFOYLE: You mean read it for the third time?

PERINO: Oh, yes.

GUILFOYLE: I'm way ahead of you. Catch up, Dana. Yes.

BECKEL: You know, if profiles in courage right now are beating up on Barack Obama, it's a really gutsy thing to do.

PERINO: Oh, really? As if he hasn't been beating up and saying nasty things about people from the beginning of his administration?

GUILFOYLE: Listen --

BECKEL: He's a sweet, cool guy.

GUILFOYLE: Don't run for president if you can't take the heat and take the scrutiny, then hire some better people.

I mean, Greg's right. Incompetence here, hidden by cool. We've got the cool president. He didn't have the skill set, like Eric said, to do the job.

GUTFELD: I think there's one industry that's been helped by ObamaCare, the human backdrops. I've been looking at on the stock exchange. Human backdrops are up 37 percent.

GUILFOYLE: What about fainting human backdrops?

BECKEL: What's a human backdrop?

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Yes, they've replaced the potted plant industry.

All right. Directly ahead, Detroit is in deep financial trouble. Now, one of America's largest cities is eligible for bankruptcy. What's next? We'll break down the Motown money woes.

And later, a big shake-up over at MSNBC after vile comments about Governor Sarah Palin. Those new developments coming up on "The Five".

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: Yesterday, a federal judge cleared the way for the city of Detroit to file for bankruptcy, a monumental fall for one of America's largest cities, but a Detroit bankruptcy may be the only thing that actually saves Detroit. It's a city that was being strangled by debt, $18 billion worth, and much more on the way thanks to greedy unions, bloated salaries, massive pensions.

Redistribution was the business model for Detroit, and redistribution along with a whole lot of union support destroyed a once global manufacturing powerhouse. There's a major cultural problem there, too. Listen to this smart young African-American rapper get to the root of the problem, and he's got a pretty darn good solution to fix it, too.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DESHAWN BLAIR, RAPPER: Basically all it is, is drugs and poverty. I mean, every kid has his own decisions. Like kids may say I ended up here just because of the neighborhood I live in. It's your choice whether you want to make it or you don't. Whether you want to be another statistic, another drug dealer that they know about, or you can be somebody successful. And I choose to be somebody successful.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: That's great. Bob, I want to start with you because in 1950, Detroit was the fifth largest city in America. Now it's the 18th. Population slid.

Fifty or 60 years of liberalism has destroyed that city.

BECKEL: The way you read that introduction --

BOLLING: Wrote and read, by the way.

BECKEL: Of course, who else would write that right-wing stuff? So, let me get this straight. If it wasn't for unions, Detroit would still be the fifth largest city and it'd be booming?

BOLLING: Maybe not the fifth, but it wouldn't be bankrupt.

BECKEL: Oh, it wouldn't be.

BOLLING: No.

BECKEL: Because the unions had nothing to do with the car companies fleeing for cheaper labor?

BOLLING: What's the biggest problem with the car companies?

GUILFOYLE: But what is the genesis of that, the unions. Why did they leave?

BOLLING: What's the problem with the car companies? Why can't a U.S. manufacturer make a profit on a car?

BECKEL: He can. He's making profit up there. Ford is making the profit.

BOLLING: The United Auto Workers Union.

BECKEL: What is wrong -- you use the word "union" like it's got some kind of allergy or something.

BOLLING: It destroyed Detroit.

BECKEL: Oh, get out of here. It destroyed Detroit.

GUILFOYLE: Let me take you down the rabbit hole.

BOLLING: The fact that a judge cleared the way for bankruptcy in Detroit, a lot of other cities and states, frankly, are probably at similar risk as Detroit. Is this a precedent?

GUILFOYLE: It is establishing a precedent, good legal word. And problem is it's going to be more -- this is more of what we're going to see. One after the next, they're going to go forward and say this is my case. They're going to show the example of Detroit.

If it was granted in Detroit, and it's the easy way out, unfortunately, things are so bad, maybe there isn't another direction at this point, but the fact that it got there, that this is what we're left with, that there is no other choice or way out shows a complete, you know, lack of leadership, lack of courageous leaders to take on tough issues like unions, so that it makes it attractive for a city like Detroit for manufacturers and automobile companies to come in there and set up with communities so we have jobs so we can buy houses and groceries.

BECKEL: It's not the first city to go under like this in bankruptcy. A number in California had.

BOLLING: Stockton, California, did and one other city did as well. But none this big. None with such a great history.

GUILFOYLE: So much for too big to fail.

BOLLING: Manufacturing history.

Dana?

PERINO: I think the question for the White House now at this point is to say, looking across the board, is there any more additional federal money to go to Detroit at all to help them deal with this? The mayor there in Detroit wanted this. The governor wanted it. And I think that if it helps them restructure, great.

The problem is going forward, there's actually no way -- I don't see a way for them to get out of this in the next 15 to 20 years that would be palatable enough for all of us to look at and say we're satisfied. I think people are going to have to face the hard realization that jobs are not going to be in Detroit.

BECKEL: Not only that, one other quick thing, that's an important point because the skilled laborers also left Detroit and they went other places looking for work.

BOLLING: To the other states --

BECKEL: Yes.

BOLLING: -- that don't require union membership to build a car.

Greg?

GUTFELD: You can't solve this problem if you don't like problem solvers. And that's the problem with the left. They've destroyed more cities than Godzilla.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: That's a lot.

GUTFELD: There are a couple of interesting solutions. I called for - - I think it was like a year ago, the modern settlers movement.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Where if you're an undocumented worker or immigrant, move to Detroit. And if you work hard and you clean it up, you have it. It's yours. You solve two problems at once.

Lisa de Pasquale on "Breitbart" wrote a great article on the $20 billion in art owned by Detroit. If they sold that art, that would take care of the debt and save the pensions for all those workers. Sell the damn art. Don't hide it.

And the third and final suggestion: put Trump in charge. That guy got that Wellman skating rink when no one else does. He gets stuff done, whether you like him or not. He cuts through the red tape.

BOLLING: All right. Before you jump, let's skip ahead. Not the next SOT, guys, the next one in the rundown which is Ed Henry with Jay Carney. Take a listen to Ed Henry asking Jay Carney about what he meant by saving Detroit. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ED HENRY, FOX NEWS CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: Is the president going to let Detroit go bankrupt?

JAY CARNEY, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: Ed, I think that happened while ago. Detroit is --

HENRY: But didn't the president say in the campaign that it would be awful for Detroit to go bankrupt? He obviously helped the auto industry, got them back on their feet. That was a positive development, but it wasn't enough. And I thought in the campaign he said it would be horrible for Detroit to go bankrupt.

CARNEY: Well, I think there's enormous hardship caused by some of the problems that have happened in Detroit, which is why this needs to be resolved between the city and its creditors.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right. So, let me start with you, Dana. I listen to that and I was trying to figure out, look, I know Ed couched it in President Obama mentioned the auto industry, but did he mean to say he didn't want to let the city of Detroit to go bankrupt? I don't think he did. I thought he meant the auto industry, but go ahead.

PERINO: As I recall, the president's answer was vague, and they left it vague because Michigan, at the time, even though they won it handily at the time, was one of those states that maybe it might go Romney's way. So, they wanted to sort of walk a rhetorical fine line. And they weren't specific.

But now is the time for governing, not campaigning. And I think that it was a fair question to ask.

BOLLING: Your thoughts?

GUTFELD: I've given up on trying to figure out what they mean, because their language changes constantly. They say one thing, they mean another. And then they go, well, I really didn't mean that.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

GUTFELD: But I just wanted to just reiterate the Detroit thing we were talking about. The reality show with Trump called "Fix Detroit."

BECKEL: Yes.

GUTFELD: And he gets 16 people, maybe celebrities.

BOLLING: Very good.

GUILFOYLE: Then they can come in like Kid Rock and fix it?

Look, the problem is, I'm not surprised at anything they say because they can say one thing to my face and then say no, no, no, that's not what we said at all, and you could roll the tape back, and it's what they said. It doesn't matter because their own reality is what governs. That's what dictates.

BECKEL: I think when he said he'd prefer not to see Detroit go bankrupt, I think that's probably right, those people would. It goes into the courts and they'll work it out. There will be cuts in pensions.

You know the only thing that's grown in Detroit are Muslims.

PERINO: Oh, boy.

BOLLING: We're going to leave it right there.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Senator Rand Paul has a plan for Detroit. He's going to be in Detroit on Friday and Saturday. We'll have him on "CASHIN' IN". He's got a very good plan. And maybe Trump can help them out.

BECKEL: Fatwa this.

BOLLING: Coming up, a feminist uproar after a new mom flaunts her toned abs in this selfie taken just days after giving birth. The woman is defending herself after an avalanche of critics came down on her. The post-baby body debate -- Mina, I'll kill you for writing that -- it's ahead.

And check out our new Web site at FoxNews.com/TheFive.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: Very nice.

GUTFELD: At least one business is doing great these days, the hate crime hoax factory. They've even hit a new high, or low, as the perps of such crimes are the people meant to curb them. The daily caller reports that a series of bigoted messages about women, blacks and transgendered were invented by a member of the bias incident response team or BIRT. It's the victims doing the victimizing. BIRT is the bigot.

So, how can creating false hate crimes not be hate crimes themselves? After all, the violators' intent is to help themselves by hurting others, right?

Sadly, the median academics don't mind these deeds for they believe in one greater fact, it doesn't matter if that hate crime is fake because a real one just like it has to be happening somewhere else. It's the assumption that drives all perceived injustice. We don't need facts, just feelings, to find fault.

Sadly, this fetish for divisiveness makes for an environment that engages and rewards the resentful. And because hate is in short supply, the resentful have to create it. It's hate karaoke where the singers bang out hit after hit to the delight of a cooing angry crowd.

Fabrication is their livelihood. The scary part in 20 years, they'll be the historians writing about this era as if all of their lives were true.

BECKEL: I have to tell you --

GUILFOYLE: What?

BECKEL: I'll tell you, these liberal academic institutions, man, they just -- every one of them just corroding America, corrupting it. I mean, hate -- come on, man!

GUILFOYLE: It's working (ph), Bob.

BECKEL: Get those professors out there, close down those things and let's get ourselves right back to Pomona.

GUTFELD: Exactly. I like Pomona.

K.G., you're a lawyer.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

GUTFELD: You told me that many times.

GUILFOYLE: I play one on TV. Thank you very much.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Shouldn't perpetrating a fake hate crime which brings out the police and also hurts other people be classified as a hate crime?

GUILFOYLE: I know this bothers you because you sent emails up 2:00, 3:00 in the morning, talking about this, when we have these stories. I agree because it does a tremendous injustice, because you have people who are suffering from hate crimes. Those people get afraid to even report the real thing.

It diminishes the seriousness of the charge when you have people putting out this stuff that really annoys me and frustrates me but I don't know that we can charge them. Maybe we can secretly attack them.

GUTFELD: Eric, what do you think?

BOLLING: I think you're right. I think it should be a hate crime. If perpetrating a crime is a hate crime, faking it should be just as damaging.

I mean, you think about the example of people putting themselves at risk, climbing mountains and all of a sudden someone dies trying to save them --

GUTFELD: Exactly.

BOLLING: It's kind of the same thing. I agree with you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

Dana?

PERINO: Well, I was thinking that when you were talking about their perception is that even if the hate crime didn't occur --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- they believe that you were thinking about it.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: You wouldn't be unhappy if it did happen.

GUTFELD: Right, exactly.

PERINO: So they always can justify their means by saying that they project hatred and evilness on you.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PERINO: Does that make sense?

BECKEL: A lot of hate crime litigation moving through. There's a relatively new law. There hasn't been a lot of precedent set yet.

So, it may well be this falls in the precedent category.

GUTFELD: All right. Let's talk about --

GUILFOYLE: It's very test-approved legally. But I want to encourage all of you because you're thinking in the right direction, and your heart has been in the right place.

GUTFELD: That's nice, K.G.

BECKEL: Who?

GUTFELD: He's the guy that -- you know that small, local access network? Yes, he works there. He resigned. He issued a statement.

The reason why he resigned, based on a monologue he did a couple of weeks ago in which he suggested performing a lewd act involving defecation and Sarah Palin. He apologized for this.

BECKEL: (INAUDIBLE) say it.

GUTFELD: We're not going to talk about it because I don't want to have to apologize and take a leave of absence, either. But it wasn't enough. He resigned.

Thoughts around the table, should he have?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I think so. I think they gave him an alternative like, hey, you can choose. You're either going to be fired, which is what should have happened to begin with, or you can do the walk of shame out the back door.

I guess maybe that will help him look good, redeem himself in the eyes of the public so he can get a job at al Jazeera or something.

BECKEL: Is he a Syrian?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

BECKEL: Here's the thing. I mean, I've said some pretty outrageous things --

GUILFOYLE: What does that have to do with anything? That might be one of them.

BECKEL: I wondered if it was his nephew or something.

BOLLING: Like Bashar al Assad?

BECKEL: Something like that, yes.

GUILFOYLE: Bashar, Bashir? Is that what we're dealing with here?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Really outrageous. That crossed the line so far that it was inexcusable. He stayed on the air after that.

GUTFELD: I think that was the problem, Eric, is that they were probably in meetings going what could be worse than what he said? They couldn't come up with anything.

GUILFOYLE: No one came up with it.

BOLLING: The whole point was that it wasn't just him, it was produced. It went to the level of --

GUILFOYLE: What you have in your hand, Eric?

BOLLING: So here's my -- it was against Sarah Palin that he said this thing. The governor is a very good friend of mine. I called her for comment. She said, you know what, Eric, rather than taking this on, you know what?

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: She's handled this thing with grace, class and as a good Christian. I said, governor, will you do me a favor? Send me your book. I got her book.

Come on.

GUILFOYLE: Porter?

BOLLING: Hello? Hello? Porter?

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.

BOLLING: Take camera 6.

BECKEL: Oh, hell, I'll buy it. Here.

BOLLING: Anyway, her book is "Good Tidings, Great Joy."

GUTFELD: Dana, who should replace him? Alec Baldwin? Rob Ford?

PERINO: I don't really ever get a chance to watch that channel.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Yes. I couldn't tell you.

GUTFELD: How about Rob Ford?

PERINO: The thing that MSNBC has a problem explaining, I think they should have a problem explaining is why for off-the-cuff remarks made about a group of people, Alec Baldwin was fired immediately. Martin Bashir got to take a leave of absence, think it through and gets a nice statement from the president of MSNBC about how they wish him the best.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: If I was a staff at MSNBC, I would have preferred to know where does management stand on something like that?

GUTFELD: This is the key, because we often argue about how people infuse meaning in your words, even when you're making a joke. You go, I don't mean that.

Clearly, Bashir did mean this because he wrote the monologue and said very clearly what he wanted to have done to Palin. And yet he was treated in a much more nicer way than Baldwin who basically was shouting at a guy who was getting in his face.

BECKEL: If these guys would just learn a lesson, coming from me, you shouldn't insult everybody. That way you've got everybody covered.

GUTFELD: That is true.

GUILFOYLE: Wow.

GUTFELD: Spread hate like marmalade.

BOLLING: Equal opportunity insulter.

GUTFELD: It's true. He's right, though.

PERINO: Next up is the minefield segment, actually.

GUTFELD: Yes. OK. Directly ahead, is there anything wrong with this woman? No.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Posting this picture -- posting this picture on the web four days after she had a baby. Some feminists think so. I'm sorry.

GUILFOYLE: What's wrong with you?

GUTFELD: We're going to tell you why coming up on "The Five".

BECKEL: Whoa!

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUILFOYLE: Bob, we're on.

Welcome back to "The Five".

Now, is it OK for new moms to flaunt their post-baby body? Well, not according to some people. Norwegian fitness blogger Caroline Berg Eriksen posted this selfie on Instagram -- Bob is leaning so close right now -- four days after giving birth to her daughter, showing off her flat stomach and sexy lingerie.

Now, evidently she only gained 22 pounds while she was pregnant. Some feminists are upset and don't think she should have posted the pic, but Eriksen is defending herself. How much do you love this segment, people?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CAROLINE BERG ERIKSEN, BLOGGER: During the pregnancy, people kept telling me that my body never would be the same, and I wanted to show everybody that that's not entirely true. I think that all women should be proud of themselves regardless of how they look after labor.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: Look, I think she looks great. I don't know -- Greg -- everyone has a theory and a viewpoint. We're going to save Bob so the segment doesn't get blown up right away.

GUTFELD: OK. Number one, it's not about the woman. It's about the babies. When babies are born, they're really fat. They have all that baby fat.

Get them on a treadmill when they're born, fat babies, unhealthy.

Mommy bloggers -- what is with these mommy feminist bloggers? They are absolutely miserable people. Why don't you go after real injustice? There are women being killed all over the country, and you're going after a Norwegian fitness blogger.

I thought I would never say "Norwegian fitness blogger" in my life.

PERINO: But it's so fun to say.

GUTFELD: I will say, she is a fitness blogger.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, she's really serious about fitness. By the way, I have no problem with this. I applaud women that take care of themselves, are healthy and want to -- you know, fine. Dana, you think she had something done.

PERINO: No. Somebody else said they were looking at previous photos of her --

GUTFELD: Yes, that was me.

PERINO: Yes, that was you.

GUTFELD: I thought maybe she had implants.

PERINO: I have no idea. I really don't care --

GUTFELD: I care.

PERINO: -- what she did about that.

Here's the thing. I do think that women are under a tremendous amount of pressure. The reason everybody looks at this is that they're under pressure on their jobs, trying to figure out how they're going to get their kids to college and keep them safe and they also worry about how can they stay fit and it's not easy.

I do remember an article, because I have a great memory, that was written by Janice Min (ph). And she is editor for some of the big fashion magazines, the director of "The Hollywood Reporter." And she had a baby. It used to be "Us Weekly."

She had a baby and said oh, my gosh, we put all of these people on the front cover of "People" or wherever else they might be about how easy it is to lose baby fat and it puts too much pressure on women who are dealing with reality.

GUTFELD: They make so much money off those pictures. And then they bemoan -- they bemoan it.

PERINO: This is the article. I sent it to you.

GUILFOYLE: Eric, what do you think? She looks great, right?

BOLLING: She looks fantastic. I'm all for free speech. I'm a First Amendment advocate, free expression. So, she should be able -- look, you can't have a problem with some people doing selfies and other people doing selfies.

GUILFOYLE: I like the outfit.

GUTFELD: I like the chandelier.

GUILFOYLE: Of course you do.

BOLLING: Was this feminist group ticked off at Kim Kardashian when she did her selfie, too?

PERINO: We didn't hear from them when Martin Bashir said the comments about Sarah Palin.

GUTFELD: Or the stonings in certain countries.

GUILFOYLE: They're so selective about these things. They get so upset. Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYEL: Bob?

BECKEL: Did you look after that after you had your son?

GUILFOYLE: I -- I gained about 25 pounds. I didn't gain a lot of weight, but I think I gained good weight, you know, because he came out juicy. What?

BECKEL: I know, but my advice (ph) with my son, I gained about 25 myself, and it was rough.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: Let me get serious here for a second, as much as I love those pictures. There is a lot of pressure on women.

GUILFOYLE: I know, a lot.

BECKEL: In the art world -- or in the dress world, whatever you call that --

GUTFELD: Fashion.

PERINO: Fashion?

BECKEL: Yes, fashion. Have you ever seen a fat woman wearing expensive clothes? No.

BOLLING: Plus-size models.

GUILFOYLE: What are you talking about, Bob? All the time.

BECKEL: Oh, they do have plus-size models?

BOLLING: Yes, they do.

GUTFELD: What about the pressure on men?

BECKEL: Look at how much work the guy had to do to have that baby.

GUILFOYLE: Sympathy weight when the wife is pregnant, they have little snacks.

BECKEL: Men don't get enough credit for what they have to go through those nine months.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

GUILFOYLE: Hey, listen.

GUTFELD: By the way --

GUILFOYLE: I've got nothing but love for men.

GUTFELD: She should be commended for the discipline, I guess. And it's not her problem if she hurts other people's feelings. That's your problem. That is not her problem.

GUILFOYLE: I have friends that looked like that after they gave birth. You know what?

BECKEL: Where are they?

BOLLING: And the whole point is, if you don't want to see, why are you going on a Norwegian -- Swedish --

GUTFELD: Norwegian.

BOLLING: -- fitness model's blog. Don't go there.

GUTFELD: Because they're looking for something to be mad about.

BECKEL: Even in Norway, a lot of them look like that, I'm telling you. They're great.

GUILFOYLE: OK, let's just --

GUTFELD: Thank you, Bob.

GUILFOYLE: -- Bobby Beckel, ladies and gentlemen.

Coming up, everything you thought you knew about Chinese fortune cookies, Bob, probably isn't true. For one, they're not Chinese. They were born and made here in America. Bob's got the rest of the story.

That's next on "The Five". Stay with us.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: OK. That's on now? OK. Everything you ever thought you knew about fortune cookies may be wrong. Starting with the fact they aren't even Chinese.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Fortune cookies, by the way, are not Chinese. They're American. First faked in San Francisco during the early 1800s, those made today by Wonton account for nearly 70 percent of the U.S. market.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We're actually the largest fortune cookie maker in the world.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wonton makes 4.5 million fortune cookies each day.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECKEL: All right. Well, have you ever wondered why those fortune cookies are always so positive?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We don't want to do anything that's offensive to people. We don't want people to feel like they've read the fortune and it actually gets them down, depressed.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm trying to remember if there were any fortunes that would actually say you're going to drop dead tomorrow.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Maybe not exactly quite to that extent.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But you decided the fortunes should be all positive.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, we have, like, several thousand fortunes. And we're always in the process of continuing to revise them, improve them.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECKEL: The guy looks like Charlie Chan's grandson. Now, look, first of all, let's make this clear...

GUILFOYLE: We just told you not to say that.

BECKEL: This is the only thing that may not be made in China, as I was trying to say before I was interrupted by this S.O.T., which means sound on tape.

Now, these things are made in Brooklyn, most of them. Eric, you find it unusual...

GUILFOYLE: Where are you getting that from?

BECKEL: I read it in my research. Get out of here.

GUILFOYLE: But guess what? It's San Francisco.

BECKEL: Whatever.

BOLLING: This is for me sitting next to you: "Your infinite capacity for patience will be rewarded sooner or later." Hopefully later, hopefully sooner.

How about this one for Obama: "Management is doing things right, leadership is doing the right things."

BECKEL: Oh, that's good. You got that right into my -- my segment. Let's read one here.

GUTFELD: This one is actually an Obama care fortune cookie.

BECKEL: Oh, here we go.

GUTFELD: It says, "Try again later."

BECKEL: Temporarily down.

GUTFELD: I did a thing called misfortune cookies when I was working at Stuff, misfortune cookies which would tell you when you were going to die. It never caught on.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, imagine that.

I like mine. "Listen to what you know instead of what you fear."

BECKEL: That's very good.

GUILFOYLE: You like it?

BECKEL: Mine says, "It's in your moments of decision your destiny is shaped," which means the Republicans are going to have no destiny.

OK, the politically correct aspect of these -- good point, they never have a bad thing to say, right?

GUILFOYLE: No.

BECKEL: They don't say like, "Eric, you're a right-wing jerk" or anything like that. What is it...

GUTFELD: I've got one for you?

BECKEL: What?

GUTFELD: "Thinking is heavily endorsed."

BECKEL: It is? It's vastly overrated. Listen...

GUILFOYLE: No one wants a negative fortune, Bob.

BECKEL: You know something about China? They don't even eat these things in China. You know that? They don't. They don't eat Chinese food in China. This stuff...

GUILFOYLE: Bob, Bob, they eat Chinese food in China, which is different than our Chinese.

BECKEL: But you know the guy who invented these things was Japan, No. 1. He was. Did you know that?

BOLLING: I thought it was invented in America.

BECKEL: No, no, it was a Japanese guy in the 1800s.

BOLLING: You said it was in America.

BECKEL: No, it was. He was in San Francisco. He's Japanese.

You know, you guys are taking this break and making it very -- I mean this segment and making it very difficult on me.

GUTFELD: Ask Dana about it.

BECKEL: Ask Dana.

PERINO: I didn't have a chance. I'll read one that has me a little curious. It says, "A love relationship takes on an added dimension."

BECKEL: Oh, yes. Step right up, come on down, confess your sins.

GUILFOYLE: Keep it in the family.

BECKEL: When you fall in love, you take out a different dimension, yes, indeed.

"One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing." And Eric Bolling, you start.

BOLLING: Alrighty. So Will Ferrell continuing his massive, unbelievable branding campaign for "Anchorman." "Anchorman" on ESPN. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

WILL FERRELL, ACTOR/COMEDIAN: You are one of the great quarterbacks playing the game today. You've had a lot of success, and yet you've done it all without a mustache. You're running around out there, and I have to be honest with you, you look like a succulent baby lamb. I know. I played a little in my day. San Diego -- San Diego State. Scout team quarterback. I used to yell "Chekhov" all the time. Chekhov! No clue what it meant, but when I saw someone on that defense move, I just yelled, "Chekhov, Chekhov!"

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: He has more fun than anybody today.

All right. K.G. is next.

GUILFOYLE: All right. So I've got a great "One More Thing" today. It's a recommendation that I have for you, a strong recommendation. And the National Board of Review agreeing. This is one of the year's top ten films.

This is "Lone Survivor," the story of Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell. He was the sole survivor on a mission that turned tragic when their position was compromised in Afghanistan by 100 Taliban warriors.

Last night was the New York star-studded premiere. Today was a luncheon. I had the opportunity to have lunch with Marcus Luttrell, Eric Bana, Mark Wahlberg, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster. They all showed up. Alexander Ludwig and Taylor Kitsch. Great guys, great film. Very important.

GUTFELD: Who hit on you. Who hit on you.

BECKEL: You hang out with SEALs a lot, don't you?

GUILFOYLE: What I want to tell you is that you should watch the show -- the film. It's going to be out December 27 in limited release and then nationwide on January 10.

And Mark Luttrell and his wife are big fans of "The Five," bob, although he has a special message from me to give to you.

BECKEL: I'm sure he does. I'm sure he does.

PERINO: And you get to go next, Bob.

BECKEL: OK. Well, you know those big tough members of the Congress and the House of Representatives? They wanted to make people who got Food Stamps be drug tested. So there was a poll done asking whether members of Congress should be poll -- should be drug tested. It was favored 78 to 7 for those big tough guys who want to make people...

PERINO: Do you think they should be?

BECKEL: No, absolutely not. What? Members of Congress? I think every one of them should be.

But interesting enough, when they asked that question, the same question was how about people who are -- get -- welfare recipients. Only 51 percent should be tested. That's my case.

PERINO: But do you think all members of Congress should be tested for drugs?

BECKEL: Sure, why not. They make laws. I mean...

PERINO: Including the guy who just said -- anyway.

BECKEL: If you're going to do that...

PERINO: This would be a block for another day.

BECKEL: OK.

PERINO: Another day, because Greg is next.

GUTFELD: Yes. Banned phrase.

GRAPHIC: Greg's banned phrase. Today's phrase: Close proximity."

GUTFELD: Close proximity. Close means proximity so just say nearby. Because frankly, you use too much time saying this, and it really bugs me, so just don't do it anymore. I beg of you, stop saying "close proximity." Oh, it angers me so.

PERINO: What about "close promiscuity"?

GUTFELD: There you go again.

GUILFOYLE: Whoa, Dana.

PERINO: I'm just saying that's a word that is similar. And it is...

GUILFOYLE: Where's your mind at? Very weird.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: She's got it right down -- she's right down in my world here now. Go ahead.

PERINO: Yes, it is Bob's world, and we're just living in it here on "The Five."

My "One More Thing" is about baby names. Baby names of 2013. And "Duck Dynasty" inspiring a lot of names.

GUTFELD: That's a weird name. Duck Dynasty?

PERINO: The show. The people who are on the reality show, OK. So the name Korie, that is Willie's wife and business partner. She was No. 1. It was like 89 percent increase.

Mia their daughter. People are also naming their kids Phil, Sadie and Silas.

Interestingly nobody is naming their kid Beckel.

BECKEL: Could you imagine being named Silas? I mean, that's not fair to a kid.

PERINO: I think that -- why?

BECKEL: Silas?

PERINO: I think that's very distinctive and unique.

BECKEL: Well, OK.

GUTFELD: Why do people name their kids after people on TV? That makes me sad.

PERINO: If you find names, like maybe people read in a book. Like people maybe used to get it from books, like their favorite character in a book.

GUTFELD: I'd name them...

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Don't forget to set your DVD so you never miss an episode of this show, "The Five." We'll see you back here tomorrow.

Content and Programming Copyright 2013 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2013 CQ-Roll Call, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of CQ-Roll Call. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.