President taking friendly-fire over ObamaCare rollout?

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 22, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling, along with Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."


BOLLING: Uh-oh, some of President Obama's best buddies may be headed for the exits of ObamaCare. Reports out that none other than the queen of talk, Oprah, is refusing to promote ObamaCare because she feels burned by the White House.

And it's not just Oprah grabbing the life vest and jumping overboard, Jon Stewart giving the president the treatment usually reserve for us, and specifically me sometimes. Here he is venting last night.


JON STEWART, COMEDY CENTRAL: Apparently, the health care Web site has 99 problems but a glitch is all of them. The (EXPLETIVE DELETED) calculator doesn't work? The calculator -- the one thing that's been included in computers since 1972? You couldn't make that work?

The whole point of Web sites is to design them so that it's nearly impossible to not sign up for something. So, how are Democrats going to spend this? A surge. Your Web site is so (EXPLETIVE DELETED) we have to use the same strategy we used to salvage the Iraq war?


BOLLING: Oh, we've got more coming from the very liberal media wing of the liberal White House as MSNBC, the very liberal yak-yak Mike Barnicle finally telling the truth about what's going on.


MIKE BARNICLE, MSNBC ANALYST: They are lying about it now. They are lying about it. They're not -- they're not, you know, depriving us of information, they are outright lying about what's going on.

They had two years to pull this together, to pull this program together. In a country where you can go out to San Jose, California, Cupertino, California, and find five people to put together a Web site in six seconds.


BOLLING: All right. Robert, liberals, pushing back a little bit, finally.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Is that a question?

BOLLING: No, thought?

BECKEL: Listen, I think on this issue, I have stated my position. I think we should -- but, you know, was it you or somebody said if they postpone it, you know this better than anybody else. Six months or a year, you lose like 15 million people can't get their healthcare, is that right?

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Well, if you postpone it, I don't think people are going to have incentive to sign up.

BECKEL: No, you lose it.

BOLLING: No, no, actually it was when you were on this morning with Hemmer, he said if you postpone for year, you'll have to sign up 15 more million people to make it work out economically.


TANTAROS: I can't understand his question.

BOLLING: It's a good thought.

BECKEL: I couldn't remember it.

BOLLING: Surprise, Greg, why you Jon Stewart taking the ax to ObamaCare.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Just because they are criticizing him now, that doesn't matter. There's no reelection. It's like they covered the -- they threw the rug over the bloodstain so they could have an open house, which is what they did with the election. They knew this stuff was bad.

Now they can act like, oh, we're being objective and ragging on it, but it already happened. There's nothing we can do with it. I don't know.

By the way, it makes me sick.

BOLLING: Dana, it's that bad though. You know, a lot of times, we're on TV, we're talking about something whether it's, I don't know, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, and then we fell, are we really in the right place with this? Are we really harping on this?

And then sure enough, it comes back to say and say, wow, we were in the right place. ObamaCare glitches, these are a big deal.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Right. And I think that -- well, it goes to the heart of what hoped would happen, which was that President Obama would have ObamaCare, his signature legislative achievement, that he would go down as the person to bring health care back -- you know, stop the soaring health care costs.

But you can feel the tsunami of negativity happening to them now. And it does -- when President Obama gave that -- it's a tsunami, Bob.

BECKEL: That's a very good line.

PERINO: The tsunami of negativity. You love that? OK, great. You can use it tomorrow. I give you permission.

But when the reporters start harping on every little thing and the White House looks completely disconnected from reality, I thought "The A.P." story this morning when the reporters got to sit in with some of the bureaucrats trying to design ObamaCare and they keep trying to say, "I don't think this is going to work. It's not going to work." And one of them almost is in tears saying, we're not going to meet this deadline. Yet they hit it because of political reasons.

I think that will actually go down as their legacy.

BOLLING: Ands, one of the other things that we're not talking about, we're trying to bring it up here on "The Five" the last couple days, is that you're ensuring more people. There's no doubt, you're trying to get, 43 million, or 48 million, whatever the number is, back on --

TANTAROS: Yes, they keep moving the number.

BOLLING: But we're not addressing the cost of health care. Health care costs continue to rise. Since the ObamaCare law was signed in February of '10, we're spending $300 billion more per year on health care. So, costs continue to rise. This isn't doing anything for costs.

TANTAROS: It's making it worse. If you have a bunch of sick people signing up, you're only going to drive premiums through the roof. You need healthy people to come into the system and pay the premiums.

This is the same thing, I have said it before, but it happened in Massachusetts. They didn't learn from the mistakes. And, yes, the way to really get costs down for premiums would have been to open up insurance over state lines so somebody who is young and who's healthy who can't log on now could go to a state and allow the insurance companies to compete each other to provide the best product.

For example, in a state like Massachusetts, in vitro fertilization is mandatory. So, you have to cover that. What does that do to everyone's premiums? It drives it to the roof. There's no reason why or anyone else at this table shouldn't be able to go to another state and let the insurance companies compete and that would make it cheap.

BECKEL: Can I ask you a question? You know a lot about this. I don't need to understand why it is that insurance premiums -- first of all, nobody is into ObamaCare yet, right, until January 15th. Why have the costs of insurance premiums gone up dramatically and ObamaCare is not in place?

TANTAROS: I can answer that. Last year, Kathleen Sebelius came out and she passed a rule saying that insurance company premiums could not raise their premiums above 10 percent or else they would get the accounting version of a colonoscopy by their state insurance commissioner. So what did they do last year? They raised them all 9 percent across the board.

That rule doesn't apply this year, though, Bob. Shockingly, HHS didn't do that. They're not allowed to put price controls on the bill because it was not a part of the ObamaCare legislation. So the insurance companies are jacking them up anticipating that what is happening now is going to continue happening.

BECKEL: I've got colonoscopy next week.


BOLLING: Well, colonoscopy a good transition. Jay Carney gets a colonoscopy from none other than the liberal NBC goatee Chuck Todd. Watch.


CHUCK TODD, NBC NEWS: Five days before the launch, the president said it's a Web site where you can compare and purchase affordable health care plans, the same way you shop for plane tickets on Kayak. Who misled him? Who misled the president on this? Are you telling me five days before that somebody let the president go out to the American public to give this speech and say this and make this promise?

In fact, the next line is, "I promise you, this is a lot easier. It's like booking a hotel or a plane ticket." Who let him down?

JAY CARNEY, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: Look, the president is frustrated. He made that clear in his remarks today.


BOLLING: Good answer? Enough? Surprise --


PERINO: Isn't -- that's always the answer. Let me be clear, the president's been clear, I have used it before, too.

That's what I meant by the tsunami of negativity because the facts are what they are. So you have reporters like Chuck Todd looking at the facts. What other kind of question are they going to ask? That's a fair question to ask.

Who is telling the president that everything is rosy? That's certainly how the speech was taken yesterday.

BECKEL: That's really the key to this thing. Somebody had -- he wasn't going out there and making those up knowing it was bad. So, somebody had to tell him it was good.

PERINO: Well, maybe.

BECKEL: Don't you think it's true?

GUTFELD: Chuck Todd asked who misled the president. The answer is his entire education.

Obama is the product of a belief that centralized planning benefits the individual despite a century of crushed souls. Anybody with any education knows this stuff does not work.

It doesn't matter how smart you are. If you keep injecting a brain with modern education, which is poison, this is what you get.

TANTAROS: And isn't it like his campaign for office? So, it's a lot of shiny marketing techniques and cultish iconography and hope and change and celebrities and they tried to get celebrities to push this, this time around, Olivia Wilde and John Legend.

And now, you don't hear celebrities saying anything. And if I were their agents, I would tell them to shut up and not say a word about it.

BECKEL: Hey, can I ask Greg a question because the whole thing --


BECKEL: Where would you -- are there schools in the United States that you think are good schools that are not the hot bed of communists?

GUTFELD: I'm sure there are, but I can't think of any offhand. I have another question, where is Joe Biden? Didn't he say that health care was a big F-ing deal and he was right? America got F'ed in a really big way. But where is he?

BECKEL: They sent him to Latin America. Now, he's holed up in Delaware.


BOLLING: Scarlet Johansson, you talked about celebrity, Scarlett Johansson, Aisha Tyler, and Gabrielle Union, they're going to promote ObamaCare through Planned Parenthood. Good idea or bad idea?

TANTAROS: Again, if I were their agents and their managers, I would say stay away from this, because if you look at even Jon Stewart, you cannot defend the indefensible. These girls -- I guess they don't care about their credibility. I guess they don't care about the fact that this thing is imploding. They're willing to get behind it.

But I think at this point, Eric, the president has to delay something. And if I were him, I would delay the tax.

GUTFELD: I disagree, though --

TANTAROS: I would absolutely delay the tax.

GUTFELD: I think that Planned Parenthood is a great thing for an actress as she's getting older, because she's eliminating the future competition. If you're about 60 and you're running out of roles, you can still play the same roles because replacements aren't being born. It's genius.

PERINO: I'm going to disagree for another reason. I think the politics for them is OK. I think for their audience and -- remember the war on women? Even if it was preposterous, it was successful for their base.

So if you're one of those actresses and Planned Parenthood is something that you support, I think you could get behind ObamaCare and say, I know the Web site didn't work, but I believe in the principle. I think that, politically, they could say that.

BECKEL: I was going to ask real question to Eric --

BOLLING: What's with you with the question?


BECKEL: No, I'm not answering anything. Is in vitro fertilization where they take somebody's sperm and put it in a woman?

TANTAROS: I think that's one way of doing it, Bob. Let's ask Dr. Siegel.

BECKEL: I don't know what it was.

BOLLING: Can I ask you a question?

BECKEL: Sure. I don't know in vitro.

BOLLING: We talked about it yesterday. Shouldn't Sebelius -- shouldn't her head roll? I mean, really, she's the one who ultimately hired a Canadian firm, spent, whatever, 400 million, 500 million, 600 million bucks, I don't know, it's not working. And, honestly, really risks the whole ObamaCare law.

BECKEL: Well, let me just say, she's been working really hard. And I think she wants to spend more time -- she needs to spend more time with her family.

GUTFELD: Her family.

BECKEL: I don't know the answer to your question. But I do know this, she's under a lot of stress. And it's time -- I think she's probably saying to herself every night --

PERINO: It would be a reward. I actually think it would be a reward to allow her to resign. I think calling for her resignation would be a relief to her. Instead, I think she should be made to stay and fix it.

BECKEL: Does anyone know who is the dude staring through the window here?


TANTAROS: I just want to say, I said it earlier, but I do think there's no way they an continue without making a change, and they're going to have to delay the tax, because once the penalties kick in, if people still can't get health insurance, that's what they are going to delay if they delay anything.

BOLLING: Can you not delay that?

BECKEL: Why is that? Just quickly.

BOLLING: I don't know. Why? Because you can't buy it. You can't penalize someone if you can't buy it. John Boehner said it a week ago.

All right. We're going to have to leave it there.

When we come back, Bob promises to study for the B block.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney outs the real extremist in Washington.


DICK CHENEY, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT: I don't think of the Tea Party as extremists. The extremist in Washington is Barack Obama.


BOLLING: And speaking of Cheney, "The Five" spent time with him last night at the party, and Bob was yakking it up with the VP like nobody's business. Greg knows what yakking it up is. He wants to talk about that. The unlikely duo, when we come back.


PERINO: Welcome back to "The Five".

We've got three interesting takes from three influential people. Last night on the fight in D.C. between Obama and the Tea Party over ObamaCare. First up, Vice President Dick Cheney who defends the Tea Party and thinks it's President Obama who lacks moderation.


CHENEY: I don't think the Tea Party are extremists, the way some of the folks in Washington were describing. The extremist in Washington is Barack Obama. He's the guy that wants to fundamentally transform our health care system. He's the guy who's done enormous damage to America's standing in the world, to the extent there's an extremist or radical political view in Washington these days, I believe it's the president of the United States.


PERINO: I believe that Dick Cheney was a wrestler in high school and he knows how to flip the argument back around.

Bill O'Reilly also thinks that President Obama is trying to destroy the right.


BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS HOST: Don't expect much compromise in Washington for the rest of Barack Obama's tenure in office. That's because partisan feelings are so bitter that detente will be difficult to reach. The president is a sensitive man and is furious with people attacking him personally. The Muslim stuff, the birth certificate, the socialist stuff, the president internalizes that and despises though who dispense it. Therefore, he's on a mission to destroy the hard right.


PERINO: All right. So, Greg, what do you think of the extremism and politics of personal destruction?

GUTFELD: Well, I made some notes. For one thing, President Obama should be trying to destroy the right, because the right stands between him and his grand remaking of America into a non-exceptional campus of organizers and planners. The right is there for a reason.

But extremism exists more on the left. Look at the assassins in our past. Lee Harvey Oswald was a communist. John Wilkes Booth was an actor, a Confederate. Sarah Jane Moore, they weren't members of the John Birch Society. The party of slavery, the KKK, those weren't Republicans.

OWS, Black Panthers, Weather Underground, Unabomber, Earth First, the left is the home not of the brave but of the depraved.

BECKEL: Those are a lot of my friends you're talking about.

Listen, the thing -- this is where I disagree with Cheney on this. We're going to have a nice detente at the end of this, but the idea that somehow I want to see where it is that Barack Obama has done damage to the United States overseas. Where?

PERINO: Really?

BECKEL: Yes. Where?

PERINO: OK. Did you see the whole thing about the Saudis over the weekend?

BECKEL: The kingdom in Saudi Arabia.

PERINO: This is not about foreign policy. This is about attacking the right.

Eric, do you think --

BOLLING: He's doing a good job ruining America, and overseas.

TANTAROS: How about the Middle East, Bob? Do you think Egypt is better? Syria is better? BECKEL: What was he going to do about that? He's the one that stood up to Syria. Everybody else --


PERINO: He stood up to Syria?

BECKEL: Yes, he was willing to bomb when everybody else wimped out.

PERINO: Except for John Boehner defended him.

BECKEL: Boehner was there.


PERINO: Anyway, I don't know how it happens that you get me off track so often.

So, Eric, tell me about what you think of extremism and what do you think about that whole thing?

BOLLING: I love the vice president --

PERINO: Using their own words against them.

BOLLING: Oh, my God, that was fantastic. He actually quoted Barack Obama, the senator, before his election -- we're here to fundamentally transform America.

Fantastic V.P. Cheney, honestly, I didn't see that coming. I loved those. It was absolutely perfect.

He's right. And there is extremism in D.C. That's what we're seeing. We're seeing the left go further left because they have a leftist president. They have a president that would be thrilled if this wasn't ObamaCare if it was socialized government care. He would love that. That's maybe the ultimate goal.

So, calling him out for that, calling the administration out for that is fantastic. Spot on, sir. Thank you.

PERINO: All right. Let's take a look. We had three people influential that talked last night. Take a listen to Charles Krauthammer who was in "THE O'REILLY FACTOR", and we'll get Andrea's take on it.


CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: It's hard to see where the president holds anything in the administration accountable, particularly himself. I mean, he is, after all, commander-in-chief. And on none of these has he ever said we screwed up. I mean, the way --

O'REILLY: Today he did. You heard that.

KRAUTHAMMER: No, today, what he did is he tried to sell this thing. He gave this speech in which he said the product is great, the price is wonderful. We have a little problem at the checkout counter.


PERINO: So, Andrea, do you think that's a tactic that the administration if they have the IRS, Benghazi, Fast and Furious, that they just try to flip it and make it about the other side?

PERINO: Oh, yes. I mean, look at exhibit A, should I say, exhibit B, over here to my far left, Robert Beckel, you do it all the time. What else is he going to do?

I mean, he look, if I were him, I would take some kind of responsibility on this. It's his hallmark item of his first tenure. It has his name. He could have struck a different tone yesterday and he didn't do it. He did not admit that they were working on problems. He could have explained what the problems were. He could have explained when they hope to have them fixed by. He didn't do any of that.

They just left him out in the open. And, Bob, and no one has been fired, and if you look at all the scandals, IRS, Benghazi, Fast and Furious, no one has been fired.

BECKEL: Do you remember Newt Gingrich was caught off the record saying Republicans want to do away with Social Security and Medicare and they do.

The fact of the matter is, that you guys can't stand the fact that you called it socialized medicine. For a lot of people who live on Social Security, it's the only thing they've got.

PERINO: You think Republicans want to get rid of Social Security?


PERINO: Seriously? You think Republicans want to get rid of Social Security?

BECKEL: Yes. Absolutely.


GUTFELD: I'm one of them. I mean, I agree. I do -- I think Social Security has been a scam. I would give away all my money that I put in there and just start over and let me handle it.

Just talk just one more thing on extremism. There is a drive to portray the advocacy of small government as extremism. So, we're re- defining normal political ideas as something extreme, which means that what is next? What will be categorized as extreme next?

Just simply the desire to achieve, to do something better with your life can't be seen as bigoted, as racist, because what you're suggesting is you want to surpass somebody else in your success. That's the next step.

PERINO: They have done that with lower taxes.

BECKEL: Let's talk about (INAUDIBLE) for a second. Let's talk about Joe McCarthy, who ruined people's lives. Bunch of right wing --

GUTFELD: Joe McCarthy didn't blow up anybody, Bob. Your guys blew up people.

BECKEL: Don't say he never blew people up. He destroyed people's lives.

GUTFELD: He didn't blow up anybody.

BECKEL: That drunk -- (CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: He went through a whole list of people.

GUTFELD: It was me. I peed in his Wheaties.

BOLLING: What's with you today?

BECKEL: You want me to sit back here and say nothing?

BOLLING: I would like you for once to say, look, it's a miserable failure. The ObamaCare Web site that's supposed to handle $2.5 trillion is failing and they need --

BECKEL: In the break, you said, you know, we need to have somebody stand up to this thing. Why don't you do it?


BOLLING: Or admit it failed.


BOLLING: Andrea (INAUDIBLE) is asking about the guy outside. Stand up and say, look, I have been defending it.

BECKEL: I'm sorry. Are you mad because I ruin --

BOLLING: I'm kind of mad because you're finally to the realization that this thing is failing, failed and will continue to fail going forward. Instead, you want to talk about in vitro and the guy inside.

TANTAROS: But if you were Bob, wouldn't you want to talk about the guy outside right?

PERINO: If I have to defend ObamaCare, I'd be talking about anything else but --

BECKEL: You sit in this seat some point and you take ObamaCare and see what you want to do.

TANTAROS: But, Bob, I do think if you ask the president, he would probably say in an honest answer that he is an extremist. I think that he is a radical. I think he espoused that theory in college. I think he espoused that theory on the streets of Chicago.

And so, we're looking at extremism and then incompetence. And the danger here is we got them both smack-dab together in the form of this administration.

BECKEL: This gets back to Barry Goldwater. The Republicans' favorite statement, extremism in defense of liberty is not extremism.

Extremism came from the Republican Party. It has from the days of John Birch, going back to --

PERINO: But, Greg made a great point. Isn't that extreme what they're fighting for? No, only in their eyes.

BOLLING: Is it extreme when Rand Paul stands up and says, I want a constitutional amendment to make everyone in Washington, D.C, who is making these laws and voting on these laws to be bound by those same laws? Is that extreme? Is that too much to ask?

BECKEL: To change the Constitution of the United States to do that?

BOLLING: If you want ObamaCare so darn much, President Obama and Eric Holder and the rest of you guys voting, then you live by it, too, and all the staff, too.


BECKEL: OK. Let's where they get free lunches so that we have to get into all that.

You want to change the Constitution because Rand Paul thinks they are not being treated equally?

PERINO: Let me tell you something, I deserve a raise for moderating such a well-run block.

OK. Tomorrow, I live to fight another day.

GUTFELD: It was an extreme block.


PERINO: I thought you guys were brilliant.

All right. The male Jets fan seen on video punching a female Patriots fan has been identified and he's got a very disturbing past.

GUTFELD: Brian Kilmeade.

PERINO: A report on his trouble with the law, next. That's directly ahead.


TANTAROS: Well, there's some breaking news on that disturbing fight at the Jets game on Sunday. Charges have just been filed and we'll tell you about that in a moment.

A male fan was caught on tape, if you haven't seen it yet, look at this video, punching a female Patriots fan after a brawl broke out. The man in question is 38-year-old Kurt Paschke, who served almost four years in the slammer for stabbing and killing a 17-year-old in the 1990s. Paschke was 17 at the time.

His mother says he acted in self-defense. She's made that claim on Sunday.


COLLEEN PASCHKE, ACCUSED PUNCHER'S MOM: They are trying to make my son look like he just hit this poor girl. And that's not the way it was. The guy should not hit a guy or a woman, but if you're going to get a maniac girl, I mean, how much abuse are you supposed to take before you defend yourself?

He's very mild mannered. He does have a past from when he was 17. So, he knows that when there's an altercation, that you move on. You don't put yourself in that position.

He was concerned for me and for himself just to keep going and just not make something out of this. But they thought otherwise. They were the aggressors.


TANTAROS: Well, and it looks like the courts may agree. Police just charged him, the woman and two others with simple assault and disorderly conduct.

So, Greg, the girls also have been charged in this. It may not just be his fault.

GUTFELD: You know, this is what the police often have to do. They have to arrest everybody because if you look at that, it's hard to tell where this thing started and when it ended. So, you just arrest them all and you sort it out in court.

But the thing that bugs me most about this is sports in general, the intense team rivalries. Grown men who wear other men's uniforms or jerseys and they paint their faces. This guy paints his van, the Jets colors.

And what happened is you have a manufactured animosity, which is kind of creepy. I don't like you because you like them. It sounds extremely political.

PERINO: Like somebody else we know.

TANTAROS: And if you have been to one of these games, Dana, I'm sure you've been to a football game, the security is tighter than ever now because of what Greg talks about, these rabid fans that drink too much and get really, really violent. And this time, it's women, too.

BECKEL: The security is tighter, but what is not tighter is these owners pushing all this booze out. I know where I come from on this is probably suspect, but why are they selling this stuff in these stadiums? You've got a bunch of drunk people. I have never seen a fight break out in a stadium that hasn't been the result of alcohol.

GUTFELD: But you can't blame every drinker for that behavior, because 99 percent of the people there are enjoying themselves and just having a bottle of beer.

PERINO: And it takes away from the fact that the Jets won.


TANTAROS: Which is really the headline here, that the Jets finally won a game.

GUTFELD: We love the Jets.

TANTAROS: Eric, the dad also defended his son, the dad of the aggressor that you saw on the video. He says that, look, he didn't mean to do it. Does that echo the point that Bob often makes, which is you see this guy, this alleged bully who hits a woman on the tape. The parents seem to be having his back.

Bob says that, look, you find a bully, just go no further, the bigger bully is in their home.

BOLLING: Yes, but you know what? There's no excuse. You don't hit - - you're a 300-pound guy, you don't hit a woman.

And you killed someone when you're 17. The rest of your life when someone picks a fight, you just walk away. You took someone else's life, that's another onus in my opinion.

Look, I don't agree with you, Bob. I think people have a right to have a beer if they want. Like Greg points, it's probably 99.9 percent of the people who have a beer at a football game don't end up hitting a woman in a fight.

BECKEL: But most of those people drink one or two beers.

BOLLING: There's an onus on the security and police to remove the people who are drunk. They didn't look drunk.

I do think the cops did a right thing arresting the females too. She shouldn't have gotten punched, but she shouldn't have gone after the guy like that.

Look, you put yourself in the situation to get arrested. She got arrested. They all got arrested. I think the cops did the right thing. It's an unfortunate incident.

TANTAROS: Philadelphia Eagles, they used to have Judge Seamus at the stadium so he could try them in court, which is pretty bad when you have to have a judge on scene. How about this for bullying? In Texas, a parent has accused a football coach of bullying because his team, this coach's team, beat the opposing team 91-0. Now we had this debate a couple weeks ago on the mercy rule in California in Little League or I guess it's Youth League Football.

Greg, what do you think? Is that bullying when they beat them that bad?

GUTFELD: What's more embarrassing losing 91-0 is when your mother calls or writes to accuse that you've been bullied.

Bullying now applies to everything. So there's a point that it's actually meaningless. You've got media and celebrities that always take a topic and beat it into the ground. In the sense they have bullied bullying. It's now -- you can say I'm bullying if I talk too much. I'm bullying you guys.

Bullying means nothing --

TANTAROS: I'm going to bully Dana for an answer on this question.

Dana, Tim Buchanan, now the coach, has to defend this complaint from the parent.

PERINO: And the school principal has to investigate and prepare a written report on the case of alleged bullying. So you wonder why people don't want to stay in education and to empower principals.

His report should say I looked at the tape and the team kicked some ass.

TANTAROS: Is this a good ass-kicking, a good teaching tool, Eric?

BOLLING: No, again, this coach, what he did was pulled his first string. He put the guys who don't get to play. He put them in I believe the whole second half. They still could have run the score up further. He didn't do anything wrong.

But I offered to pay the first ten coaches that get fined for running up the scores in California. I'll pay their fines.

It teaches kids how to win.

BECKEL: Exactly.


BECKEL: I don't know what they expect them to do. Sit down on the field? They have a wide open field, like out there, I'm not going to catch it, right? Or I'm just going to sit down when I have a 40-yard field in front of me.

What are they thinking? How about the other coach gets bullied? These bullies, these guys (INAUDIBLE) crappy team.

TANTAROS: Maybe they should spend more time trying to run plays in practice so they don't get their butts beat next week instead of filing lawsuits. I don't know.

All right. Ahead on "The Five": Kim Kardashian has big news again. It's not her behind. Our resident Kardashian watcher Bob here can't wait to tell you exactly what it is.

Stick around.


BOLLING: Isn't that amazing? Good stuff.

GUTFELD: Yes, they handled that one well. Amazing.

Anyway, remember that stupid song that said children were our future? It was right. Children are our future, which is why they now have none.

According to Stanley Druckenmiller, the guy right there, great name, while today's seniors will get 300 grand in lifetime benefits from Social Security, children born today, they're going to lose 400 grand. That's a lot of money.

So, junior still supports gramps, but since reproduction has been replaced by recreation, the juniors are disappearing. But at least he's on mom and dad's health care. But wait, who is paying for that? The kids. That's justice.

The sheep that voted for change are left with little, except for bragging rights that they voted for the cool guy and not the Mormon, or the war hero. Sadly, the cool guy screwed you. They always do.

Finally, 6 million people age 16 to 24 are neither in school or working. I'd say they fell through the cracks, but it's more like an economic black hole, leaving them without skills or experience. So, how do you climb out of the hole? You frack.

Thanks to fracking, America will be self-sufficient by 2020 which means good-bye to the maniacs of Middle East. Al Gore must be sobbing in this bowl of fried kittens.

But fracking isn't just creating freedom. It's creating jobs. You want to find young people making serious money? Follow the fracking, which is enriching generations of men and women. And true, this may -- this work may be beneath the beta male bloggers who majored in gender studies. But those bloggers can tell them that as they wait on them at Applebee's.

Andrea, can this group be saved? This whole generation that seem to be at least a decade behind in getting job skills and whatnot.

TANTAROS: I think it depends. I think they can. If you look at economies down in Texas or in the Dakotas, fracking to your point has economies booming. Wages are higher.

There's jobs for them. So, it all depends. I mean, right now, we have to have an economy that takes off that has a demand for younger workers.


TANTAROS: That's just not there. And young workers are competing with older workers who want similar jobs and even seniors who find themselves going back to work.

But that story that you pointed out about being energy independent is amazing news. I mean, we're sitting on a mega load of energy and it can really help if we tap it.

GUTFELD: Yes, speaking of mega load, Bob, you are for fracking.

BECKEL: What -- really --


GUTFELD: You're for fracking and pipeline. What would you say to President Obama to get him onboard?

BECKEL: On fracking?


BECKEL: Frack this.

It's so obvious to me. I would say to him, please go out and watch him do it, because I went out with my friend Denny from West Virginia and they actually go out of their way to ensure this stuff is non- environmentally unfriendly. Is that the right wording?

PERINO: I don't know, there's like three negative.

BECKEL: Here's the thing that I don't understand, maybe Eric can explain to me.

We get all this natural gas and yet there's not enough money for it to make it worthwhile they so they cap it.

BOLLING: It is. Just right now, it's liquefied. I mean , it's a gas when you get it out. If there's an easy way to liquefy it, to make it a solid, we would be in really, really good shape.

Twenty years in the oil industry, I will tell you fracking saved President Obama. His presidency was a disaster. He came onboard. Gas was a buck 83. It's doubled now.

There are 10 million fewer people working now in America under President Obama. I don't care what the 7.2 or 7.3 percent unemployment is. People are leaving the workforce.

But fracking kind of saved his butt. Let's put it that way.

BECKEL: But, Eric --

BOLLING: But don't forget, he was the president worried about it environmentally. It was a bad idea. Now he realizes that it literally saved him so he's embraced it now.

BECKEL: You know, you sit here and blame Obama, but the fact is there are areas in this country -- the research triangle in North Dakota, North Dakota because of fracking -- all I'm saying is a lot of the old manufacturing industry is never going to come back. That's something we have to accept.

GUTFELD: Can I get Dana in here before we go? You know, you have been talking about the long-term consequences of these kids. What happened?

PERINO: Because a lot of them aren't getting -- they don't have jobs in their 20s. So, if you think about back to your 20s, that's where you got a lot of experience and helps you get better jobs in your 30s. So they are delayed by about 10 years, which means that they are not buying their first home, they're not buying their second car, they're not investing in 401(k)s. And so, then -- when they do start to have children, they are sandwiched because their parents will be needing their care.

So they don't have enough money to continue helping us with the system that we currently have. I think everybody has a responsibility to try to help a young person get a job so you can help them get experience.

GUTFELD: Every day, I try to help a young person.

PERINO: Yes. In your basement?


TANTAROS: Help. Help.

GUTFELD: Yes, I help. That's what I tell the officers in the park.

PERINO: They put that on their resume.

BOLLING: Druckenmiller.

GUTFELD: Druckenmiller? Did I totally ruin his name? I said drunken Miller.

BECKEL: Can we get out of this block?

GUTFELD: No, I'm going to stay here for another hour.


GUTFELD: All right. Coming up next on "The Five", Bob is going to tell you what happened when he bumped into Dick Cheney at a book party for Charles Krauthammer last night. We were there to witness the scene and have a few stories of our own when "The Five" returns.


BOLLING: Last night, "The Five" went to a book party for Charles Krauthammer who will be on the show this Thursday. And I ran into former Vice President Dick Cheney.

I shouldn't say I ran into him. I was over-eating and Eric comes over and says, "The vice president wants to talk to you." And then Dana comes over and says, "Come on. Let's go do that."

So, I said, I don't really, because you know, because I've called the guy everything in the book. I mean from Darth Vader --

PERINO: OK. You don't have to repeat it.

BECKEL: But anyway, he and I sat down and we had a wonderful discussion. We talked about something back and we're both so old that we have -- you know, I have a lot of stuff in common.

GUTFELD: You guys have four hearts between you.

BECKEL: Actually that's true. I had heart bypass surgery. He had a whole heart removed, and -- and -- he's -- he looked great, by the way.

GUTFELD: He looks younger than me.

BECKEL: Well, that's not necessarily that big of a reach, to tell you the truth. I'll tell you the thing that was interesting to me about it. He just seemed to be like he was reborn again of he got out of that dark phase at the end of the Bush administration.

TANTAROS: Dark phase. Still can't help yourself.

BECKEL: No, no, no.

TANTAROS: Dark phase.

BECKEL: I think heart operations, I can tell you from when I had mine they can put you in a horrible place.

PERINO: Well, he wasn't -- he doesn't have the stress that he had as vice president, and his health is better. He's happy with his family. He's got a new book out that's really good, and he's a very engaging, warm guy.

BECKEL: Well, he invited me to go hunting out in Wyoming with him.

TANTAROS: You should go.

BECKEL: I'm going to go with a lot of protection.

BOLLING: Can I tell a story about how that little meeting ended up happening?

BECKEL: No, how?

BOLLING: So I see Bill O'Reilly is talking to Dick Cheney, and watching them, O'Reilly leaves and I see the vice president standing alone. My opportunity to go up and shake his hand, pleasure to meet you, sir.

He's like, oh, I love "The Five". I love you guys. I love everything you do about "The Five".

And that, Beckel, would I love to talk to him because I used to hang out and talk to him when he was doing CNN. I go, you want to talk to him. He goes, I love to.

So, I ran over to Beckel and I go, Beckel, go talk to Cheney, he wants to talk to you, and he's like, I'm not going to go over there. Why? O'Reilly is talking to him, I don't want to talk to him when O'Reilly is talking to him. O'Reilly left and then you went over and had a nice chat.

BECKEL: And then what happened was, I used to do "Crossfire" Sunday with Lynn Cheney and I, and Dick used to be there and we knew each other back then. But he said let's sit down here. We're too damn old to be standing up here, we're talking about fishing. Can we sit in these two chairs?

I've got my leg over the thing, and he does, too, and Dana comes up. He gets up, is that a proper way of posture in front of the vice president of the United States?

And Dick, he fortunately bailed me out. He said, I was doing that, too. And, by the way, I called him, Dick, and someone said you should call him Mr. Vice President.

And I said, Dick, can I call I Dick? He said, yes. So, there you go.

PERINO: He's a great guy.

TANTAROS: He is my second favorite Bush administration member after Donald Rumsfeld who has my heart.

BECKEL: Donald Rumsfeld?

TANTAROS: He's my number and then Cheney.

GUTFELD: Dick Cheney might have your heart.

GUTFELD: All right!

BECKEL: "One More Thing" is up next.


BOLLING: All right. Three and half more minutes.

Dana is up first. "One More Thing".

PERINO: OK. Who doesn't love a marching band? I love a marching band.

OK. My friend who told me to refer to him as one man sent this out last night. Iowa Hawk blog, you got to follow him.

This is Ohio State, and they had a game against University of Iowa. Look at this. They do an eight-minute tribute to Michael Jackson, and they form, you can see there, this is Michael Jackson, and then they start doing the moonwalk across the field. This is pure art, people. There you go.

Isn't that pretty cool?

TANTAROS: Oh, wow.

PERINO: And, Sean, you speed it up, so you have the video where you can see it faster. This is the video, that would be faster, I guess. Isn't that cool?

GUTFELD: As long as it stays away from your kids.

PERINO: Great thing for your kids to be involved in is the marching band.

GUTFELD: Not that marching band.

BECKEL: Whatever happened to that circus?

BOLLING: Andrea is up next.

TANTAROS: OK, big congratulations to Kelly Clarkson who got married over the weekend. The song stress married her agent. I guess he's a talent manager, Brandon Blackstock, in a small ceremony in Tennessee over the weekend. Dana and I were just talking about her. I love Kelly Clarkson.

These pictures were compliments of Coby and Taralyn Brown (ph). So, thank you for those.

Bob, she's a great singer. She won "American Idol." And, look, she's through a lot of bad relationships and she finally found Mr. Know-it-all. Good for her.

BECKEL: Actually, my ex-wife was actually the best relationship I ever had.

PERINO: Wow. That was nice.

TANTAROS: First nice -- that's sweet.

BECKEL: The rest of them were -- I was probably the dog in that crowd.

PERINO: Is this therapy or one more thing?

BECKEL: My one more thing. Speaking about engagements, yes. Kim Kardashian got knocked up by Kanye West, and on her 33rd birthday, she got engaged.

TANTAROS: This is very romantic, Bob.

BECKEL: He got a 15-carat diamond ring for their baby Northeast, and I don't care about him. I really don't. Why anybody spends any time with this woman, she's built from plastic. She's like the $6 million man.

TANTAROS: Wait, they gave her a ring for her push present because she gave birth to a baby or did they get engaged?

BOLLING: They got engaged.

BECKEL: They got engaged.


PERINO: Wow, that was some one more thing.

TANTAROS: Following that touching story.

BOLLING: You're up, Greg.

GUTFELD: Oh. Thanks to Andrea, I got this cool little hat which I gave to my mother and she's wearing it. There's my mother wearing "The Five" hat. She's doing well.

TANTAROS: Oh, look --

GUTFELD: I hope she's watching. Hey, Jackie, hope you're doing well.

And we've got a resurrected phrase. It is apply yourself. We used to hear this in grade school all the time, and we forget how important it is to apply yourself.

We instead, when we find something that's hard to read, we click on something else, and we move on, and we have to remind ourselves, as always, to apply yourselves.

BECKEL: Apply ourselves to what?

PERINO: Is that something I sent you this morning?

GUTFELD: Yes. You told me to apply ourselves myself.

BECKEL: Give me an example of that.

GUTFELD: Read a book.

BOLLING: You should apply yourself to the "A" and "B" block because we'll have higher ratings tomorrow.


BECKEL: You know, you really are picking on me. You know that?

BOLLING: OK. If you go to, the lead story, great story, food stamps -- apparently, you can buy them on Craigslist. It's totally illegal. But go to Craigslist. They exposed a bunch of people selling food stamps. One of them reads, I have 500 bucks worth of food stamps, and it costs $350. I'm not going to do halves.

Apparently, you can pay a little bit more than half for food stamps and get them on Craigslist.

BECKEL: I get mine --

BOLLING: Illegally, but when you think about it, $800 billion in stood stamps program every year and they say only 1 percent is fraud. I think it'd be --

BECKEL: I pay for all of mine. I want to make that clear.

BOLLING: All right. I got to leave it there. That's it for "The Five". Thanks for watching and a hat tip to Bret Baier. Sorry about that, buddy.

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