Interviews

Government behaving like children?

Parenting expert with tips for resolving slimdown

 

This is a rush transcript from "Your World," October 7, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

NEIL CAVUTO, HOST: Well, if they're going to act like kids, then to parenting coach Tammy Gold with some tips for dealing with them, especially when they get childish, right?

TAMMY GOLD, FOUNDER, GOLD PARENT COACHING: Yes.

CAVUTO: So, what do you think first of all of all how have they been acting?

GOLD: I think it's setting the wrong example.

As adults, we have to tell people how to act. We have to tell children how to act. And kids do this when they're mad.

CAVUTO: Right.

GOLD: They get angry, they shut down, and they don't move forward, and that's what they're doing, and they're not setting a good example for the youth of today.

CAVUTO: All right, so let's give them tips now, because apparently some of them forgot these basic guidelines.

GOLD: Right.

CAVUTO: ... basic guidelines.

You say, first off, calm them down.

GOLD: Calm them down.

CAVUTO: Calm the children down.

GOLD: Right.

CAVUTO: What do you mean by that?

(CROSSTALK)

GOLD: Everybody is going to get upset. And that's OK. You just have to learn how to deal with that appropriately.

So if you're in a fight with someone, the first thing you want to do is calm yourself down, so you can begin to do number two, which is clearly articulate what you're upset about and why you're so upset about it.

CAVUTO: All right, so, in other words, have them explain, that is, the kids or the politicians in this case, why they're upset.

GOLD: Yes.

CAVUTO: Now, we know each side is very upset at the other. But if they spell it out, what does that help them do?

GOLD: It helps them just explain, get everything out. Sometimes, you get -- you call it therapy get cycling. They're cycling their thoughts. They're getting overwhelmed.

So spelling it all out, and then the second part to that is thinking about the other side to the fight. The fight is between two parties, so you explain why you're upset and then, when we tell children about fighting, we think about, what could the other side be upset about?

And, number three, you want to make a plan. OK. I'm upset. And now I think I should do this, and I think maybe the other party should do that. Try to have them move forward.

CAVUTO: All right, now, I know with my kids -- I have 11- and 12-year-old boys -- it's their way or the highway.

GOLD: Right.

CAVUTO: So when they get into an argument, it's sort of like nuclear destruction, that everything they want or nothing.

You argue, in dealing with children, as you deal with any unruly behavior, it's all about sharing.

GOLD: Sharing, and compromise, and that's teaching children and everybody the right thing to do in a fight. Of course, you have 100 percent your opinion, and the key is to meet someone on middle ground.

You're passionate about something, they're passionate about something. What are the two things that you can do that you can meet in the middle about? And that's what these politicians have to do. How can they meet in the middle?

CAVUTO: Yes, get something done in the meantime, right?

GOLD: Yes.

CAVUTO: Don't waste a lot of time.

GOLD: Instead of crossing their arms and doing nothing.

CAVUTO: All right.

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