Perino takes heat for playful rap

Liberal bloggers take shots at worst rap ever


This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 12, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Do you remember when you were a kid and you would do something your friend told you to do and mom would say, if your friend told you to judge off a bridge, would you do it? And you would have to think about it? Well, Greg is that friend of mine.

And yesterday, he had a great idea of poke some fun of myself and as the rappers who went to Cuba. If you didn't see it, we're going to play it for you now. Listen.


PERINO (rapping): Well, my name is Tiny D and I'm here to say about funk fresh rhymes in a major way. So, I'm white like Casper, got a dog named Jasper, and if you don't think Beyonce fears me, go ahead and ask her.

If you love Castro, stick with Jay-Z but if you love your freedom pick D.P. That's me.


PERINO: OK. So, obviously, that was a worse rap ever, but it was funny.

But it surprised me, Greg, that some people on the left, Bob, the whole left, doesn't have a sense of humor. And now, I'm being called a racist.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: I know. And, you know, you are the right -- I'm kidding. No, the whole point -- this is what passes for intellectual rigor on the left. If they can't come up with anything, a response they have to call you a racist. They are drones in earphones. They are so pathetic.

The whole point of that rap was to show that you can't rap. That you are physically incapable of any rhythm whatsoever --

PERINO: I can rhyme, though.

GUTFELD: You can rhyme, but those rhymes were written for you by Bill Schulz, who is a racist.

PERINO: Yes, it's your idea --

GUTFELD: By the way, all you dumb ass bloggers out there who are calling her a racist, I got to ask you, what do you do in your free time? Have you gone to Africa and worked with an HIV center? I don't think you have. Dana has.

So, if you want to talk about if whether or not she's a racist, I'd be happy to talk to you personally about it.

PERINO: I don't know why -- Kimberly, we were all cracking up. Why can't they just laugh about it? It was funny.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: We thought it was funny, but I thought it was really good.

PERINO: Oh, thank you.

GUILFOYLE: She's like this is the worse, I'm like, this is good. It makes sense. It's rhyming and the timing.


ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: You know why, Kimberly has a five-year-old and is now a 6- year-old, not listening to this stuff. When he's 14 -- Dana, I love you, but it wasn't good.


BOLLING: If the left, if they're attacking you for lying some lyrics and having a little fund with it, then they have a problem with every -- like I said -- white suburban 40-year-old who thinks that they're not Jay- Z.

PERINO: And they didn't have a problem with Jay-Z and Beyonce getting a cultural visa to go to Cuba where they actually put people who can maybe that could rap in jail for expressing their ideas. They're not offended by that. They're offended by me.

GUTFELD: Yes, they don't care about suffering.


GUILFOYLE: Bob is doing his homework.

BOLLING: Can I just point out that I came up with your name.

PERINO: Vanilla Knight. That was your idea, it was great. Let me read this tweet. We're going to go to Bob because he's great under pressure. He can prove you can do this. Do we have a tweet that was written about me?

"This rap response from Dana Perino to Jay-Z shows how laughable minority out reaches for Reince Priebus and the GOP." Honestly, this is what they wanted to pick --

GUTFELD: Who was that, which one?

PERINO: I don't know, yes, don't follow him. He's a monster.

Bob, now is your time. We reserve the balance of the time for this --

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You asked me to write this thing 15 seconds ago. So, I mean, you think you had a bad rap. But I just want to say this -- this is what I wrote down. Dana Perino the new major rapper star, is joining her man Tyga and (INAUDIBLE) appear but he she broken out of her hood and man she should. That home girl has been straight for so long --

BOLLING: Oh, no.

BECKEL: Said to her upper class honky friends --



PERINO: That's proving the point that it's really not that hard.

My album is coming out. You got to follow this guy. He made this PhotoShop, D.P. and little Jasper, but the parental notification is the best part. It says terrible rap.


BOLLING: You have to say right. You can say my album is dropping next week.

PERINO: My album is dropping next week.

All right.

BECKEL: Dana Perino --

PERINO: Bob is great. Two whitest people in New York.


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