This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 1, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Last week, two workers at a food distribution company in Atlanta were caught stealing 65 grand in chicken wings. Who knows what they plan to do with the pilfered poultry, perhaps built a yurt out of chicken. Don't laugh, Greg Jarrett lives in one.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: But prizes for the app are skyrocketing and our stupid government may be to blame.
According to the National Chicken Council, where I get all my news, companies produce fewer birds last year due to record prices for chicken feed, i.e. corn. Corn costs more because the government requires 40 percent of the crop to be turned to fuel, i.e. ethanol.
Now, some might also blame global warming. The default villain whenever you are trying to evade responsibility. I still blame climate change for Jasper. But you can also blame Obama, except that ethanol subsidiaries were around before him.
But given that food prizes are rising and 50 million Americans are food insecure, it's time for the president to stop the madness. Pricey chicken hurts the poor more than anyone watching the game. And it's a bad idea that reflects toxic thinking of greenies that the earth comes before earthlings, which puts gas tanks before human mouths.
So, wings are the edible equivalent of copper wiring. What a deal to make a few extra bucks.
So, why won't Obama end this travesty? Maybe he is chicken.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes.
GUTFELD: Anyway, for Sunday's game, why not try a new snack. Buffalo environmentalists. Sure, they're stringy but if we eat enough of them, think how much corn and arugula we can save.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: Greg's preemptive apology.
GUTFELD: I'm sorry.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I again apologize for advocating eating environmentalists. That was disgusting and appalling. And I --
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: How about you're suggesting that chicken was going to hurt poor people.
GUTFELD: It is.
BECKEL: OK, fine.
GUTFELD: That makes us both -- by the way, bob, both Bush and Obama punted like $1.5 billion in grants and loans into this industry. You got to admit that's madness.
BECKEL: Do you know that every year before the Super Bowl, the price of wings goes up? There's plenty of wings. It's a total and complete conspiracy.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Why do you say -- Bob, you make --
BECKEL: No, it is. Last year, the same thing happened. The year before that --
GUTFELD: The critics of Bush said that this was going to happen.
GUILFOYLE: Because you are a sore loser.
BECKEL: No, it's not that. For the last three years, the price of chicken wings have gone up before the Super Bowl.
GUTFELD: No chicken in general is going up, my friend.
BOLLING: Do you realize that we're listening to a guy who two days ago --
GUILFOYLE: There's no chicken wings --
BOLLING: -- ask where chicken wings come from?
GUTFELD: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
BECKEL: That's not the point. Are you going to eat that right now?
GUILFOYLE: What does it look like?
BECKEL: It looks like you are -- it looks like your makeup is falling apart --
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: Oh, no, no. Can you please not eat?
GUILFOYLE: Only touch one at a time.
BOLLING: Not because of that.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Hey, you guys talk about --
BECKEL: No, no, let's talk about the chicken thing. You explain why chicken prices go up before the Super Bowl?
BOLLING: Why does gasoline go up in the summer when people drive more? Demands.
BECKEL: OK. Well, there you go. That's what I was talking about.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: That's actually not true. But food prices in general are going up. And, in fact, do you know we're going to consume --
BOLLING: Wait. What's not true? What I said?
TANTAROS: What? No. What Bob said is not true. What you said is true.
What Bob said is not true. Bob said before the Super Bowl, they go up. They don't.
By the way, you know how many wings we're going to consume Super Bowl weekend? One-point-three-two billion. That's enough times if you put wing by wing to go from the Ravens stadium to the 4ers stadium 27 times.
GUTFELD: Why would anyone do that? That seems like a total waste of time.
TANTAROS: Why would anyone said they count how many wings it would take?
GUTFELD: I know. I want to talk about Al Gore who's had an awful week. All the allies they went to visit, all the talk shows. They just -- they are tired of the scam artist. Roll tape.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
MATT LAUER, NBC NEWS: Here is the guy who just sold Current TV to Al Jazeera, which gets an undetermined amount of funding from the country of Qatar, which gets its money from oil reserves. Isn't there a contradiction in that?
AL GORE, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT: I understand that criticism.
JON STEWART, TV HOST: You had an opportunity to make a statement probably about your principles. And some people would feel, and for me as well. I thought it was an odd move.
DAVID LETTERMAN, TV HOST: What does it mean "Al Jazeera"?
GORE: I'm not sure. It ought to know, but I don't know.
(LAUGHTER)
LETTERMAN: I think it means --
GORE: Wait a minute, I can Google it.
LETTERMAN: Yes. So, you, Al Gore, are doing business with this country that's enabling your ultimate foe of climate change?
GORE: I think I understand what you're getting at.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
GUTFELD: It seems, Eric, that the only friend Al Gore has left is his masseuse.
GUILFOYLE: Why do you say that?
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true. Giving him a stress out.
BOLLING: I think Al Jazeera means $100 million my share alone.
TANTAROS: It means, sucker! Why is he stressed out, though? He has, how many, what, hundreds of millions of dollars? What does he have to worry about? He pulled the wool over everybody's eyes.
GUILFOYLE: That's my point. How is it a bad week?
BECKEL: What is wrong with taking $100 million in a deal? You're the big capitalist. What's wrong with Gore?
GUTFELD: Because he's a hypocrite.
TANTAROS: But wait a minute, now, Bob, it's OK?
BOLLING: Time-out. I said from day one on this show, five or six times we have done this segment, I have no problem with him selling Current TV for $100 billion if he wants to. He came up with the idea, he sold it.
My problem is all the money he made investing in Kleiner Perkins which was -- it's funding some companies that were getting money from the government in green energy loans, money that probably would have not gone to those companies had there not be a such --
BECKEL: If capitalism works, nobody is buying these chicken wings because these are the hottest wings I've ever eaten --
GUILFOYLE: They are super spicy. But they're good.
BOLLING: All right.
BECKEL: You're Puerto Rican, that's why.
GUILFOYLE: Yes.
GUTFELD: K.G., how do you feel -- is Gore the generation's snake oil salesman and everybody is beginning to realize it, now it's over for him?
GUILFOYLE: No.
GUTFELD: Just go on a house boat and paint?
GUILFOYLE: No. I tell you why.
GUTFELD: Why?
GUILFOYLE: Because he's getting paid. He was actually a smart businessman. I don't begrudge him the judgment that he had to sell. Yes, I don't like the fact that he sold it to Al Jazeera but I'm not going to be a hypocrite.
GUTFELD: But it's not about -- he --
GUILFOYLE: That's capitalism. He came up with an idea --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: You spent a lifetime talking about how evil these oil companies were and you shouldn't be beholden to the oil companies.
TANTAROS: He advocates for the taxpayer dollars, government subsidies to go to these green energy companies so they can then have the --
GUILFOYLE: So he's hypocritical.
BECKEL: You can beat up on Al Gore all you want, he raised climate change as an important issue. It will haunt you and you all believe it doesn't exist. It does exist.
GUTFELD: Call me a flat Earther, go ahead.
(CROSSTALK)
TANTAROS: I actually want to give the media credit for asking him the tough questions. Matt Lauer asked him a tough question. Letterman asked him a tough question. It was pretty shocking, but you've got to give him credit.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: The tough question, what does Al Jazeera mean?
TANTAROS: No, is it hypocritical?
BECKEL: They're all flat earthers, those people.
GUTFELD: Even Jon Stewart said, he said including himself thought this was odd.
All right. We've got to take a break.
Don't ever bring chicken wings onto the table.
GUILFOYLE: Just because I can eat whatever I want and you're jealous, why do you hate --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: You eat five in less than 10 seconds, Bob.
BECKEL: I can't eat those things. They're too hot, man.
GUILFOYLE: I ate four. One to go.
BECKEL: Got it from Puerto Rican outlet. That's why --
GUILFOYLE: Oh my God. Don't disparage the Puerto Rican.
BECKEL: I'm not disparaging it. I think they're great.
GUILFOYLE: I hope no Puerto Rican woman ever dates you.
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