This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," January 09, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
Watch "The O'Reilly Factor" weeknights at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET!
O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly. In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, let's get right to the sage of Southern California, joining us now from Santa Barbara.
All right, Miller, you heard Geraldo on top talking about Al Gore and Al Jazeera. And you say.
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, you must... you shouldn't get too deep with Al Gore. He's a bad guy.
Ethically-speaking, he makes John Edwards look like Sir Thomas Moore. At least, Edwards was just a horn dog. This guy is an absolute genius at rationalization.
Imagine the Rube Goldbergian contraption he has put up inside that thin little peapod he calls his braincase to be allowed to think that he, at the vanguard of the Green Movement, can do business with big oil like this.
How does Gore sleep at night other than, you know, eating a bag of donuts and hooking himself up to an IV of Yoo-hoo and nodding off in a sugar coma.
He's an empty hack. He's such an empty hack. I'm surprised he didn't become our president. And, you know, at this point, I would say, "Al, go seek absolution from Oprah. That's all you've got left."
O'REILLY: Now, when did you... and this is a serious question, when did you decide that he was a bad guy.
MILLER: Well, I think when he made this much hay off a heartfelt cause. I don't like guys who profit from being a prophet. I think Gore was, quite frankly, in his youth, kind of the Eloise of the Willard Hotel, a hotel, you know, in D.C.
He's always lived in the wake of his old man. He was trying to, you know, carve out on his own. He got his head handed to him when he ran for election.
And the people would turn their back. He was going to say Florida. I'm going to say it was Tennessee, the people who knew him best, who knew that he shouldn't be allowed near that presidency.
I think it broke his spirit. He decided to make any deal with any hot devil that he could. And he chose global warming. And, now, he's probably worth north of a quarter billion dollars.
Good for him. I'm glad he is rich. But if he thinks we hadn't noticed, he's a big hack who is completely full of it. I don't know who is kidding who.
O'REILLY: All right. Now, last night, we had a discussion about Welfare recipients, a few of them, not many, a few, here in New York.
MILLER: Really, Billy, it's a few.
O'REILLY: Well, they did a Freedom of Information Act --
MILLER: I haven't seen the work.
O'REILLY: They did a Freedom of Information Act and it came up with a few people using their Welfare cards in strip joints, and gambling places, and booze places, all right.
So then, we brought on Jimmy McMillan who knows the street to say this. Go.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
Seriously, do you think somebody is going to walk into a strip club just because they want to get some of their Welfare benefits and then walk out. I mean, come on.
JIMMY MCMILLAN, POLITICAL ACTIVIST: Well, I'm a former stripper.
O'REILLY: You are a former stripper?
MCMILLAN: I'm a former stripper.
O'REILLY: Here in the United States or in some other country.
MCMILLAN: In the United States. And being former stripper --
MCMILLAN: -- and a hundred percent of the strippers are Welfare recipients and they have family.
O'REILLY: Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that the strippers are Welfare recipients.
O'REILLY: Aren't you getting paid.
MCMILLAN: They need that money because they have someone babysitting their children. So, when they get off from work, they may have to get money from that machine.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
O'REILLY: So, you buy Jimmy or what.
MILLER: Well, thank God it's only -- what did you say, three or four people in the entire country doing that -- seven, eight. Where is that.
O'REILLY: In New York.
MILLER: Oh, I see.
O'REILLY: Would that matter or the exact number weren't that many.
MILLER: As long as it's a few. Now, you're telling me this Ming, the merciless cat was a stripper.
O'REILLY: He's telling me. I'm not telling you. That's what he said.
MILLER: If you're telling me that, I'm telling you the stage is too damn low if this guy is a stripper.
And I don't need him coming in here and dangle in his belief systems in front of me, all right. Who says you can't spend food stamps on edible undies, Billy.
It's the American way. This country is going to hell in a g-string. Enjoy the ride.
O'REILLY: I knew you were going to load up on poor Jim. You know, I just -- during the segment, I'm thinking, "I bet you, Miller is watching this. He's taking notes." Talking about setting up at the table. Oh my God.
MILLER: Were there cats like 8,000. Where was he stripping, at the Garden of Eden, for God's sakes.
O'REILLY: That's what I want to know. Was it Molly you were working or was it, you know, where. Where was that.
MILLER: Wow. I didn't know we had come up out of the sea at that point, much less Jimmy's trout (ph).
O'REILLY: Yes, he worked at the paramecium.
All right, Congress in a new poll. People prefer cockroaches, the actual bug -- here's what people prefer than Congress. Root canal, head lice, colonoscopy, cockroaches and France.
And you say, Miller.
I can understand head lice, cockroaches and colonoscopies. But, France, for God's sakes.
O'REILLY: That's over the top. You can't insult our people that much.
MILLER: That is brutal. Listen, I don't think much of Congress. But to say they're thought of less than France, that's inhumane. You know something, Jimmy stripped at the grand opening in the Eiffel Tower.
Now, listen, let's face facts. Congress people aren't the brightest people in the world. Out of the 535 up there, there's probably 35 good, principled, smart people who you look up at and aspire, too.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
The rest of them weren't smart enough, weren't good enough in sports and hadn't mastered a music musical instrument. To be in Congress was their last chance of having sex. And that's the way it is.
O'REILLY: No, I disagree. I think about half of them are patriots and noble. But there are -- the folks --
MILLER: Only one half, only one-half of a person. Out of 535, only one-half, .5.
O'REILLY: I said half of them.
MILLER: Oh, half of them.
O'REILLY: And the Senate is included in this, not just the House. People have no regard because they realize that most of, or many of the Representatives on the Hill, are just not looking out for us, Miller, like Jimmy is. Jimmy is looking out for us. And they're not.
MILLER: Well, it's not like it used to be. Billy, have you ever seen any of the old wood cuttings of Jimmy stripping at Valley Forge.
O'REILLY: No, I have not seen anything. You see, I think it's that point in the history that wood cutting wasn't developed enough. We might be able to --
MILLER: It kept the troops together. It kept the troops together during that cold winter. How horrified they were by Jimmy Stripper.
Dennis Miller, everybody. I'm not responsible.
Content and Programming Copyright 2013 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2013 CQ-Roll Call, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of CQ-Roll Call. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.