This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 10, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So Mitt Romney has declined to appear on Nickelodeon to discuss key issues with the creepy things called children. Yuck!
No surprise, President Obama jumped at the chance. After all, the top concerns for kids are free ice cream, world harmony and that all pets go to heaven. Throw in birth control and demand and you've got the lefty brain.
If you review what the kids asked Obama during the taping of the presidential special, you can't blame Mitt for not showing up. They asked him about among other things, gun control, same-sex marriage, bullying and, of course, obesity.
Sorry, these questions seemed choreographed enough to be White House press conference. And you think Obama might have learned the prep work does him no favors. This is a fun-size version of "The View."
I don't know about you, but I prefer a president who doesn't play to preteens, who isn't interested in placating their concerns about whether detention is human rights violation. He's a president, not a guidance counselor, even though his foreign policy suggests otherwise.
I want to know if he can deal with China, not something in pigtails with a runny nose and hankering for Bieber.
But perhaps he's just more confident in front of that audience. It sure beats Jim Lehrer. Maybe next time they can get Big Bird to host the debate and Obama could kill two birds with one stone. Yes, I said kill Big Birds!
The fact is, Dana, kids are just props who can't vote.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: That's true. I was so glad when I saw that Romney said, no, sorry, I don't have time for this. Maybe some people's feelings are hurt, but great decision. A really, really good decision.
GUTFELD: Eric, if Romney had gone ahead and done it, wouldn't they have made him look like a scary adult? Just a scary man. He'd be like the evil father.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Animation we did in the "A" and "B" block. Honestly, can I be honest? I think it's a miss. I have a 14-year-old son, I love the fact that he is getting in politics. I think it's not a bad idea to start kids in politics. They grasp it. We don't give them credit as much as they understand.
GUTFELD: Certain issues like economics, they should get involved in that.
PERINO: Fourteen-year-olds don't watch nickelodeon, do they?
BOLLING: They do.
PERINO: I thought your son watched other things.
GUTFELD: He watches a lot of things.
BOLLING: They watch other stuff, but they pass it -- they start them at eight, nine, ten years old on Nickelodeon, they're going to start consuming political news and information.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Big deal, there is a lot of big-time rush, all of that, Michelle Obama was at. That changes the programming from 6:00 p.m. on. It's definitely geared toward, you know, teenagers. Eric Chase's age.
GUTFELD: I don't care. I honestly don't care.
GUILFOYLE: You know why? Get to the truth of the matter. You're a hater on little people, children.
GUTFELD: I don't like people half my age that are taller than me.
GUILFOYLE: There you go.
GUTFELD: I want to talk about Stacey Dash, the actress --
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Can I make a point?
GUTFELD: No, I'm going to --
BECKEL: No, no, I'd like to make a point on this.
GUTFELD: Yes, sure.
BECKEL: We have gone to the point we are beating up Obama for talking to kids?
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: I like it.
BECKEL: Do you think we'll run out of things to blame Obama for?
PERINO: They defended Obama.
BECKEL: Romney would have scared the hell out of those people.
GUILFOYLE: Eric and I defended it.
GUTFELD: Can I talk about Stacey Dash, please, since we teased it 100 times? Endorsed Mitt Romney, got a lot of hate. Got a lot of people wishing she would die. She showed up on Piers Morgan with this to say.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STACEY DASH, ACTRESS: It's my right as an American citizen. It's my constitutional right to have my choice, of who I want to vote for, for president.
PIERS MORGAN: And I think you should be allowed to have it.
DASH: And I chose him not by color of his skin but the content of his character. We all need to understand that we are capable of achieving the American dream. You know, that has to be something that is self-realized. Also, to demonize someone for achieving the American dream is unfair.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I like when Piers said it's OK --
PERINO: There is nothing more endearing than a Brit speaking about the First Amendment. I mean, it really just warms the heart.
GUTFELD: But isn't Twitter great for exposing the intolerance of the tolerant? The people that are -- so the left wing who believe in the greater good will wish your death. There is a guy with the PhD., told her to kill herself.
BOLLING: She delivered a perfect line. She said, I chose Mitt Romney for his beliefs not for the color of his skin. Fantastically done. @realstaceydash.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: I'm not going to let Greg get away with this about the left. I didn't bring the list. I forgot it. But this is what I was called in one week on Twitter.
GUTFELD: It's true.
BECKEL: By the right winger wingers. I was called Mao, Stalin, Stalin's henchmen, Hitler --
GUTFELD: That was all from Pat Caddell.
BECKEL: I know.
The idea the hatred is on the left, the right has more hatred than anyone -- I'm the receiver of it.
GUTFELD: The left created it, perfected it, put a patent on it.
BECKEL: No, no, these yahoos out there, man, believe me when I tell you.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: They run around, redneck yahoos.
GUTFELD: You bully people and they come back at you.
BECKEL: Do I bully? You say I bully?
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: Bob, that's not a nice statement. Bob, that is not a nice statement to say redneck, militia, that's not nice.
BOLLING: They called you Hitler, Stalin, a Mao, did they call you Obama also?
PERINO: Oh. Yikes.
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