This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 25, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Remember MTV "Rock the Vote"? It's back with a new ad featuring today's Bob Dylan, Miley Cyrus. Yes, finally, "Julia Nation" has found its troubadour.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MILEY CYRUS, SINGER AND ACTRESS: We will stand our grand.
JOSH DUHAMEL, ACTOR: We will be brave.
STEPHEN "TWITCH" BOSS, ACTOR: Brave.
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, ACTOR: Brave.
JENNA USHKOWITZ, ACTRESS: We will be heard.
MIRANDA COSGROVE, ACTRESS: Heard.
KEVIN MCHALE, ACTOR: We will.
MICHELLE BRANCH, SINGER: We will.
JANE LYNCH, ACTRESS: We will.
KATHRYN MCCORMICK, DANCER AND ACTRESS: We will organize.
BUSY PHILLIPS, ACTRESS: We will.
CONNOR PAOLO, ACTOR: Vote
HARRY SHUM, JR., ACTOR: Because you matter.
KATHY GRIFFIN, COMEDIENNE: Because we matter.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: No, you don't. You don't matter. Kathy Griffin, you have jokes older than Miley Cyrus.
Miley says, "we will stand our ground." OK. Against what? Exactly what? What is America doing to today's spoiled mindless celebrities? How has our nation infringed on the rights of peroxide and post-pubescent pop stars?
What did we suddenly band? Cutoffs? Bleach? Prescription OxyContin? If that was the case, I'd be with Miley. I'm on one of those right now.
But standing ground? On what? The right to flash your naval? Why is Mitt so tone deaf on this terrible issue?
Look kids, you stand for zilch unless you're not freaking out about how you're faring under Obama. High unemployment and kids never leaving home. It's like you've skipped four decade and now you belong to AARP. All you need is needlepoint and arthritis.
The worst thing is the hip celebrities don't care, because they're rich. They think it's cool to vote for the "cool guy." No wonder they love Obama. He's just turned the world of governance to high school. A vote for "O" is vote for Mr. Popular. Not that cold evil Mr. Meanie, Mr. Romney.
Here's my rule: If a message features Miley as the messenger, its intended recipient is as deep as contact lens.
But maybe this will get the youth to vote for Obama. Unless "Twilight" is on, because that Taylor Lautner is dreamy.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Isn't that "Hanna Montana"?
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Used to be.
BECKEL: I hate that show and then Barney. That's the other one. If I could have shot that dinosaur I would have shot him 100,000 times.
GUTFELD: Yes. Well, that is wrong. I think you owe Barney an apology.
(LAUGHTER)
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Dana, do you think having rich, young, self-satisfied, egocentric people telling you oh to vote or what to vote or what to do?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I have never been one to be star struck and certainly not by the crew that just ran through.
GUTFELD: What if it was Dierks Bentley?
PERINO: Oh, if he told me to --
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Vote for Obama?
PERINO: No, even that, I would not -- I still could not do that.
GUTFELD: Wait, if Dierks Bentley didn't drive you to the voting booth and tell you to vote for Obama?
PERINO: I would pretend I was voting for Obama, but I'd vote for Romney.
Country music stars aren't going to tell you who to vote for. The people in Hollywood are the ones who pretend to be other people, they make a living pretending to be somebody else. And they think they understand America and that's why they're confused. That's why they don't understand the Tea Party. They need to get out of Hollywood once in a while.
GUTFELD: They're only this to help their career. They really don't care.
You want to talk about Madonna?
BOLLING: Sure.
TANTAROS: I just want to say I think you are really being unfair to Miley. She is dealing with this important matter of electing the next president, but she is explaining why she shaved her head and dyed it bleach blonde. That is the controversy. It's very stressful for her.
GUTFELD: It is.
BECKEL: How do you shave your head and then dye it?
GUTFELD: Well, she cut her hair.
I want to get to the most important story of the day, this is Madonna also giving advice to voters at a concert. Roll.
BECKEL: Tape.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MADONNA: Y'all better vote for (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Obama, OK?
(APPLAUSE)
MADONNA: For better or for worse, all right? We have a black Muslim in the White House, OK? Now that is some (EXPLETIVE DELETED). That's some amazing (EXPLETIVE DELETED). It means there is hope in this country.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Eric, she agrees with you finally.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: That's great!
Bottom line is Madonna is trying to be relevant. Look at these people, look at Miley Cyrus, Madonna, Nikki Minaj, Kanye West and I look at my 14-year-old son going how in the world he -- how is he going to make it?
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: Walk across the street and buy an extra candle and pray to the Lord above he makes it through this.
TANTAROS: But he's a master media manipulator, right? At her first concert, she ripped out her breast. That didn't work.
Next she brought guns on the stage after Colorado shooting. That didn't work.
Now, she figures out, my last shot, I'll just call Obama a Muslim.
PERINO: Like Angelina Jolie, a-up ambassador to the world. She could have done a lot of good. She is making an --
BECKEL: She had a gun out in Colorado? Why didn't she shoot Barney while she was at it?
GUTFELD: Yes. You know what the great thing is? She said if President Obama wins she will strip on stage, which guarantees that Romney will wink, because I don't think we don't need to see this.
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