Common Sense

Neil's wedding tips for Dion

Dion Baia, who demands you get FBN is getting married


You've heard him.

You've loved him.

You've laughed with him and at him.

To you, he's just that guy Dion.

The dude who helps promote Fox Business Network.

Just a tad differently than i do...

Well, the man made famous for urging you to get to business...

Is actually getting down to business himself.

You see, Dion Baia is getting married.

After years of hearing me tell him if he didn't propose to his absolute gem of a girlfriend, he might lose this gem of a girlfriend...

Old Dion bought a gem for this gem, and this Saturday, he'll close the sale.

And, sorry ladies, Dion will be off the market.

But enough about him. Back to me...

And what could "I," Neil Cavuto, Fox Business "and" Fox News star, offer young Dion marriage-wise that will keep him wise?

What special wisdom do I, the financial factor, hold, that can help Dion hold onto that way, way out of his league wife-to-be?

Then it hit me like...

Yea, just like a big pizza pie...amore!!

Amore!! I know amore!! I "am" amore!!

And more, I know the "words" of amore...

But sadly my friend Dion does not.

Oh sure, he's good at finding the words to get you to keep watching me...

But truth be told...Dion's not too hot at finding "remotely" the right words to keep his wonderful fiancé always watching him...

Actually, on this count, Dion's a loser in this regard. A complete and total loser.

But Dion, I'm here to help. Because...well, I know the words that move...the ladies.

And now, my special, but more importantly, totally cost-free words of advice for you.

The words that will keep this connubial bliss...

...think shopping tips for men...the wedding version....the words you must always speak, to keep those marriage sparks always burning.

You ready, Dion?

Magic line number one--"Do fries come with that shake?"No...No...No!!! I meant, "is that an earthquake of is that your stunning beauty making me shake?" sorry about that.

Magic line number two--"Is heaven missing an angel? Because I think she just married me!!"

Magic line number three--"No, my darling, that dress doesn't make you look if, my pet "any" dress could."

Magic line number four--And this is for all arguments: "You're right, I'm wrong."

Magic line number five--If the line above doesn't work: "How could I be so stupid?"

Magic line number six--"Did I tell you how ravishing you look today?"

Magic line number seven--"You know, honey, this lifetime channel isn't so bad, really."

Magic line number eight--"Chick flicks? I "love" chick flicks!!"

Magic line number nine--"I would love to have your mother move in with us! What better way to appreciate the golden apple that has fallen from this so fruitful tree."

Magic line number 10--And this might come up a lot, given your job here: "I had nothing to do with the Kate Upton video!! That was Cavuto!! He's the perv, my sexy super model wife in her own right, not me."

Magic line number 11--Just in case that one doesn't work: "Besides, Kate's a beast compared to you, my beauty. And while I'm at it, my intergalactic goddess of love, not even remotely in your luscious league, schnoogems."

There you go, and off you go, Dion.

We wish you well...

And remember, Dion. We're always here...

I'm just sayin'...that's all...just sayin'...

Whatever happens in this studio..."stays" in this studio?

Got it?