This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 11, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: All right. So, next year, at Harvard Law School, students can take a class called "Understanding Obama". It will be caught by Professor Charles Ogletree, mentor and friend to the president. So, you just know that students will get objective look at Obama's achievements. Yes, and later, Bill Ayers will be invited for the show and tell.
Of course, this is going to be a love-in. What do you expect? After all, President Obama is Harvard's most famous graduate. If you don't count Gopher and Herman Munster. They both did go there, by the way.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: That's a fact.
GUTFELD: That's Fred Grandy and Fred Gwynne.
But who cares? It's only one credit for the class. The good news is, though, if you can't afford a fan club, just study at home. Watch NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN or the rest.
If it seems harmless, until you hear that the tuition for Harvard Law for three years is $146,000. You think they'd teach kids how to pay for that instead, or maybe at least some recent history.
Decades ago, most nations were mired in poverty, but thanks to emerging free markets, that's changed. Look at China, South Korea, Taiwan, the Soviet Union collapse, India deserted the folly of socialism, and Brazil is pretty good, too. Even some African governments are coming along.
All this success comes from economic policies that are progressive would have mocked, meaning Obama was on the wrong side of everything that went right. I doubt you hear that at Harvard.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Awfully loud on that.
GUILFOYLE: Loud? It's the earpiece --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: I apologize for my loudness.
BECKEL: I think the idea of teaching a class on a sitting president is a great idea.
GUTFELD: Of course you would!
(LAUGHTER)
BECKEL: Of course I would. And I think it's -- the problem is there's not enough time to go through all his achievements in one semester.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Oh, come on!
GUTFELD: They'll have to actually apologize and refund the money --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: What?
BECKEL: Are you going to read it --
GUTFELD: I think -- what do they call when you go in and you actually don't take the course and just sit there?
BECKEL: Monitor it.
GUTFELD: Yes, I'll monitor. I'll occupy it.
GUILFOYLE: I can't believe they give credit for this.
BECKEL: Why?
GUILFOYLE: That they find this at all -- understanding Obama? Like how new age can you get?
Here's the thing. Once you get into Harvard, totally (INAUDIBLE), everybody knows it.
(CROSSTALK)
BOLLING: This is called "Understanding Obama," right?
GUILFOYLE: That wasn't a joke.
BOLLING: Understand as Bob would have it, the current seated president, has nothing to do with the office. It's everything to do with understanding Obama.
You know what? They could just take, I don't know -- maybe a socialist course or how about this? How about the fill-in could be, let's says, Hugo Chavez or maybe Ahmadinejad.
BECKEL: You dream about socialists --
BOLLING: No, I wrote this down. Maybe one of the graduates, Michael Moore, maybe celebrity by Jane Fonda or 99 percent of Hollywood.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: Socialist cooties (ph).
BOLLING: I'll let them borrow the glasses.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, Andrea?
GUTFELD: I like socialist cooties. That's vey funny.
TANTAROS: This is not Harvard University. This Harvard Law School, right? So, you need graduate degree to understand Obama. If I got myself in jail, God forbid, am I going to call a lawyer and say, what class did you take? Well, I took understanding Obama, that's why I can represent you really well.
I would like a lawyer, ladies and gentlemen, that took a class called understanding the Commerce Clause.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, right?
TANTAROS: Which Obama hasn't --
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOLYE: Respecting the Constitution.
BECKEL: The last time you were in jail, I bailed you out and I'm not even a lawyer.
GUTFELD: But then again you also got her in jail.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, I got to say --
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: No, this is just -- I mean, I think it's fun. I think it's a good idea. Listen, we have course on the past presidents. They had one on Reagan in the University of California when he was president. I mean, why not?
GUTFELD: I bet it that wasn't --
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: Not at a law school. I think an undergraduate, as an elective.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: I imagine if it's a Republican president, not favorable. If it's a Republican president, it's never favorable.
BOLLING: Would it have been better if President Obama took a course that was understanding the Supreme Court or --
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: If you took a course understanding what socialism really is, it would be good for you.
BOLLING: I don't need a course, Bob. I walk out and know what's going on in the economy every day because that's what it is.
TANTAROS: By the way, Obama was only a lawyer for 18 months and -- yes. And if they really want us to understand him, maybe Harvard should release his college transcript that he spent $200,000 trying to keep away from us.
GUILFOYLE: They only release --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: I want to talk about this AP headline which asks, who is the rich guy? Obamney -- it's happening. Obama-Romney duel over status.
TANTAROS: Obamney.
GUTFELD: So, is this headline, when they say who's the rich guy, and they mention Obama and Romney. They are talking about Romney, because Romney is the rich guy. It's just a way to begin this conversation that Romney is out of touch and rich.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. But this is again punishing people, capitalism, entrepreneurs and, you know, frowning upon, which will give you like permanent frown lines on the free market. I'm totally against it. Why do people fight hard to come to the country as immigrants to have an opportunity to be able to do something to better themselves and their families? To be able to educate their children. And instead, it gets punished. It's frowned upon.
Bob, what are you --
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: I hear this echo between me I'm sorry, it's you and Eric --
GUTFELD: Wait a second.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: Stereo socialist fashion.
BOLLING: Drop of patriotism.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: No, no, no. Don't accuse me of not being patriotic, just because I support Obama.
GUILFOYLE: You are wearing Herman Cain's tie today, though.
BECKEL: I like Herman Cain.
GUILFOYLE: You are.
BECKEL: Look, I like Republicans --
(CROSSTALK)
TANTAROS: Wait, to answer the question, I think Greg had it right with his little Freudian slip when you said Obamney. I think they're both actually a little bit of just, wait, one makes his money on his own, in the private sector, and the other makes his money by being a permanent government official.
(CROSSTALK)
BECKEL: But I'm sure what Obama is going to do is go buy a four-car elevator for his garage.
GUTFELD: But wait, can I just make -- there is an interesting fundamental disagreement about what elitism is. When you're on the left, elitist is a country club millionaire. When you're on the right, it's a Harvard graduate scholar. It's never going to change.
Eric and I will always going to make fun of Obama for going to Harvard and you will always make fun of Romney for being rich.
BECKEL: No, listen, the definition of elitist is, and I don't consider myself, I don't consider you all elitist. That 70 percent of the country are not elitist, 30 percent are. The 30 percent that think that they know, this is a definition of elitist, know what the other 70 percent need.
BOLLING: Like what?
GUILFOYLE: Like liberals.
BOLLING: The 30 percent who think Obama is --
GUILFOYLE: Exactly.
BOLLING: -- a right policy and right law.
GUILFOYLE: Limousine magazine liberals. Say it.
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