Dennis Miller: Anthony Weiner Is a 'Nasty Piece of Work'

Funnyman not surprised by congressman scandal


This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," June 8, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: We have a special announcement at the end of the segment, so please stick around. But first, the headline for the D-man tonight: Nancy Pelosi investigating Anthony Weiner. The sage of Southern California joins us now from Los Angeles. So Nancy Pelosi, prosecutor, what say you?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, you know, there's a precedent here. She didn't go after Congressman Rangel, so I don't know how she's going to go after Congressman Fondle. You know, once you -- once you let the other guy slide on his iniquitous behavior, you kind of have to push it over to a committee here. She can't really brace the guy.

But, you know, I think everybody knew something like this was coming. That's one thing about Weiner is I wasn't disappointed as I watched that Weiner culpa the other day, I remember thinking this doesn't surprise me. He was a nasty piece of work before, and now he's a nasty piece of work after with some (INAUDIBLE). It's exactly…

O'REILLY: What about -- what about -- look, we have a poll at the end of the program whether the late-night guys -- and obviously, this is fodder for the comedians. Whether the piling on -- we had Charles Krauthammer say yesterday, "Look, you know, enough is enough. The guy is a human being." What about that, as far as your business is concerned, the comedians and just like working the guy over? Does it come a point where it's too much?

MILLER: Yes. My heart is breaking because he was always such a nice guy.

O'REILLY: I know. I know. But he is a human being.

MILLER: Billy, you just said to me "I ran a poll on Weiner." Am I not supposed to notice that everything in the world is a double entendre now? I'm sorry, I'm a comedian. If Pelosi wants to get rid of him at this point, she ought to send him a text and say she thinks he's cute and she'd like to establish a, you know, private message with him, send him a photo. I guarantee you he'll run down the hallway of the House of Representatives and dive out the window at the end of the hall like Bert Lahr after the Wizard of Oz scared him. He'll be going down that reflecting pool in a race with Usain Bolt, the gold medal winner from Jamaica, and he'll be beating his time. That's what Pelosi should do.

O'REILLY: So, like Carnac, what I'm picking up from Dennis Miller is not much sympathy.

All right. Now, Sarah Palin, a little -- little confused on Paul Revere. As you may remember from "The Midnight Ride," written by Longfellow, there were lanterns, not bells. And then NBC has run three stories about the governor's interpretation of Paul Revere's ride. And you say?

MILER: I like Palin. I'm not going to play that game. I'm sorry. You know something? Ask Anthony Weiner today. He's a genius. Ask him about Paul Revere and what he did. You know what he'd have to answer? Well, he rode through the night shouting the British are -- arriving. The British are -- arriving. Everybody's got their own hang-ups. I find Palin to be clumsily correct sometimes. I find the left on eight of the 10 major issues in our life to be brilliantly wrong, all right? So Palin, I like Palin. I'm not going to wade in and start doing an ibid on everything Palin does and saying she's a dunce. Listen, if Weiner's a genius and she's a dunce, where do I sign up for dunce?

O'REILLY: OK. Katie Couric changing jobs. Now, the strategy by ABC -- they hired her as a syndicated talk show host on television -- is to obviously replace her -- replace Oprah with her. She owns part of the program. Very lucrative deal. Does it matter to you at all, Miller? Does this matter to you at all?

MILLER: Well, listen, there's another example. I'm saying Palin can't win. Katie Couric came in, and she took those ratings down the Marianas Trench. Now, she walks away and she's Margaret Bourke-White. Palin's an idiot. Katie's a genius. But the simple fact is she crashed the Tiffany Network's newscast. Now she's going to go up against "General Hospital." She's going to crash a show where every second character's named Tiffany. But she's never going to get excoriated for it, because she's on the wrong side. She is on the right side. Palin is on the wrong side. So...

O'REILLY: You know -- you know what would be fascinating? If Sarah Palin doesn't run for president, I would -- if I were another network, maybe FOX Broadcasting, I'd sign her as a talk show host and put her up against Couric. A little battle there. Wouldn't that be interesting, huh?

MILLER: Well, you know, I always like a catfight. You know me. But that's where I'm Weiner-like, I guess you could say.

O'REILLY: So we have a theme that is emerging this evening.

MILLER: I don't know, Billy. Have you not noticed that everything on the planet earth now is a double entendre for that situation?

O'REILLY: I'm trying to stay out of this thing. I mean, I'm -- we had an interesting top of the program here, where I think the liberal movement in America, which depended, at least on television, Weiner was their point-man. He's gone. They don't have anybody to replace him. And so there are bigger stories than just him.

MILLER: So you're saying Weiner, you ran a poll. You ran a poll, and he's the point-man.

O'REILLY: I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything.

MILLER: All right.

O'REILLY: All right.

MILLER: I get it.

O'REILLY: I'm not saying a word. All right.

MILLER: He's in charge -- he's in charge of their message.

O'REILLY: You're going to -- I'm not going to let you do this, Miller. I am not letting you do this.

MILLER: All right. I apologize. I'm up at night. I can't sleep. I hope you pull it all together. I'm devastated.

O'REILLY: Miller and I have an announcement to make.

MILLER: What's this?

O'REILLY: August 20, the "Bolder Fresher Tour" begins, Westbury, Long Island Saturday night. Miller and I on stage. It's going to be -- what is it going to be, Miller, you pick it up.

MILLER: Wait a second, Billy. You're telling me you and I are doing a live appearance at the Westbury Theater. How do I get duckets?

O'REILLY: You go to We'll put you right over there.

MILLER: Wait a second. I am not going to miss that.

O'REILLY: You didn't know about this? You didn't know about any of this?

MILLER: Miller and O'Reilly. I need tickets. Give me two in the front row. No, not next to Weiner, a couple seats down.

O'REILLY: I knew it. We're never going to get away from the guy. Now, Miller, you've got to behave out there, man. You can't be going crazy out there, all right?

MILLER: I will. Billy, walk softly. Carry a big stick. That's my -- wait a second, that's wrong, too.

O'REILLY: By August, that will all be gone, ladies and gentlemen. There will be fresh material. So Miller and I will be hitting the road and Long Island -- in August, good place, Jones Beach. Come on in from anywhere in the country. We're going to have a great time. And this should be a lot of fun, Miller. I'm glad you're onboard with this.

MILLER: Looking forward to it. We're the new Rowan & Martin, baby.

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