Dennis Miller on State of the Union, Oscars, Super Bowl

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," January 26, 2011.

This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: lots to talk

about, so let's bring in the sage of Southern California, who joins us

now from Los Angeles. All right, Miller, State of the Union, go.

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, before we start, what the

hell was Al Sharpton even talking about? That sounded like Professor

Irwin Corey explaining the infield fly rule. And you know, he's going

to get carpal tunnel from almost flipping the race card on you that

many times in one interview. You could see my man just about to lay it

on you, then he'd pull back for a second. That's a minefield, Billy.

Just as a "Factor" view, can I tell you I get nothing out of that. Dr.

King would have turned that off and watched "Punked" on MTV.

Anyway, back to the State of the Union. I did not watch it. If I want

to see a roomful of big asses, I'll watch the Kardashian show. Although

the clips I did see today, it was nice just not to have Contessa

Twitchie McMagpie over the president's left shoulder so I could focus

on some of this. I thought Boehner held up pretty good, and Obama was

trying to do, you know, a little Bermuda onion cutting under his eyes,

playing patches for him, turning around and doing scenes from "Terms of

Endearment."

O'REILLY: He almost made him cry. Almost. He almost broke down.

MILLER: Yes, but he held onto -- he held onto his blanky.

O'REILLY: Right.

MILLER: Boehner had his blanky, and he held onto it. Hey, and look at

-- show Biden, Billy. Put Biden up. They told Biden, listen, everybody

thinks you are a doofus. Just sit there and don't move. So now he's to

the point where he looks like that dog, Ashley Whippet, sitting in a

park, eyeing the crowd, waiting for somebody to throw a Frisbee he can

go fetch. What's he on point over there?

O'REILLY: I don't know. I thought he looked very happy last night, the

vice president. You know, you compare him to how Dick Cheney looked,

Dick never really looked happy. But Mr. Biden -- well, he's not happy

there. Now, he's not paying attention. Whenever they focused on him, he

looked happy. Now, what about winning the future, Miller? Are you --

are you down with winning the future? Are you onboard with that?

MILLER: You know, I don't really listen to -- the first 20 times I saw

the Barack speech, I thought it was -- I didn't agree with him but I

liked it. I mean, I thought, wow, what a great orator. I really don't

watch him anymore, Billy. But I can pretty much comment on it by not

watching it.

All I needed to see this week was the grownups are taking back over. He

whacked the imperious doofus, Gibbs. And he brings in Daly. Daly's

going to run the show. Daly brought him in, he said, "Listen, if you

want to get re-elected, here's three things you've got to do. You've

got to get your head out of the clouds. They don't believe in global

warming. You've got to throw an eco-Mormon -- moron out the door, and

that climate chick two doors down, she's got to go." All right, she's

gone.

Secondly, he comes in and says, "They don't like what you're doing.

They like Reagan. You've got to go out there and become like Reagan,

and you've got to hide everything you really want to do because they're

not buying what you want to do."

And thirdly he said, "You've got to get back into bed with big

business. And if that means wearing a Mr. Monopoly monocle for the next

couple of years, you've got to do it, because you're not going to get

rehired again if you look like a buzz-kill about the engine that runs

this country. In other words, Barack, and I say this as a Chicago guy

to you, if you want to come back for another four and protect the

mothership nest egg that is health care, you've got to act like you're

not you anymore, because they're not going to have you back unless you

change to a completely different guy."

O'REILLY: Now, I like that analysis. I think that's good. I didn't see

him changing into a different guy though last night. I saw the same

stuff, but it was kind of disguised. It's investing rather than

spending. And it's like, well, yes, we can. Yes, we can. Hope and

change has turned into yes, we can now. We can beat the Chinese, and

we'll be smarter than the Korean kids. And there's no way that's going

to happen, by the way. So I don't know if he's a -- Daly's telling him

the right stuff, but I don't know if he can do it.

MILLER: Now, he's not a changed man at all. I'm saying all he has to do

is tweak it a half a dial to the right, and they'll buy it like they

did when he was running.

O'REILLY: He's a likeable guy.

All right. Academy Awards, "True Grit" and this British picture, right,

where they teach the king not to stutter? That's the one? I didn't see

it, but...

MILLER: It was a lovely -- it was a touching film. I think Firth will

win for the Oscar thing. I think "The Social Network" will probably

win, although "Toy Story 3" I thought was a beautiful film. For the

actors thing, I think it's probably Annette Bening's time. For the

under card, I'd go with the two people from "The Fighter," Bale and

that Leo lady. They were great. And director, I don't know -- I don't

know who they give it to over there.

But I will say this. I like James Franco. I think he's going to be a

hell of a host, Billy. I don't know if you know this about Franco, but

this is a guy who's nominated for an Oscar, and he is still on a soap

opera called "General Hospital."

O'REILLY: I did not know that. Didn't he -- didn't he gnaw his arm off

or something, this guy Franco? Didn't he cut his arm off? Did he do

that on "General Hospital" or in the movie?

MILLER: No, in the movie.

O'REILLY: He should have done it on "General Hospital" because he would

have been in the hospital, and he could have got sewn up.

MILLER: In "General Hospital," he's just showing that he doesn't take this all that seriously. I dig the kid.

O'REILLY: OK. Miller digs the cat.

MILLER: By the way, Billy.

O'REILLY: Yes.

MILLER: The reason I can't take the awards seriously this year, the

best thing I saw all year was a documentary called "Waiting for

Superman" about the corruption of the public education system in this

country.

O'REILLY: Yes, that was terrible…

(CROSSTALK)

O'REILLY: That should have been nominated like that, but it goes against liberal orthodoxy, so they threw it out the window.

MILLER: Exactly. That will show you what a rigged game it is. They should be ashamed that it's not in there.

O'REILLY: You and I should have been nominated for many, many awards, but we haven't been. I can't -- it's unbelievable.

MILLER: Billy, I think of you as Austin Powers and I'm a Mini Officer O'Reilly.

O'REILLY: Great. One million dollars.

OK. Super Bowl, who's going to -- who's going to win? You're a

Pittsburgh guy. Who's going to win? I know you're rooting for them.

MILLER: I like "The Social Network." No, listen, I like -- I think the

Steelers are going to win because I was raised there. But I'll tell you

this: If Aaron Rodgers plays like he did against the Atlanta Falcons,

they're winning the game.

O'REILLY: I think Green Bay has got it. I think Green Bay is going to

get to Big Ben, the defense is going to get to him, and that will be

the difference in the game. 28-17, Green Bay.

MILLER: All right. We've got a steak dinner on that because I'm going with the Steelers.

O'REILLY: All right.

MILLER: But if Rodgers plays that Falcons game, yes, they win.

O'REILLY: OK. Dennis Miller, everyone.

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