Dennis Miller on Obama's Joke at White House Correspondents' Dinner, NYC Bomb Scare

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," May 5, 2010. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: a ton to talk about with the sage of Southern California. He joins us now from L.A., and we begin with a presidential joke that offended some liberals.


PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: The Jonas Brothers are here. They're out there somewhere. Sasha and Malia are huge fans. But, boys, don't get any ideas. I have two words for you: predator drones. You will never see it coming.


O'REILLY: Oh! What say you, Miller? Was that a nasty joke because the predator drones wiped out so many bad guys?

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DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I could only hope that I would think of jokes like that. That was an absolutely brilliant joke. And by the way, Billy, welcome back. Where did you go, to the timeshare in Karachi, Pakistan, for a week?

O'REILLY: I have the timeshare in Tiara del Fuego. You know where that is? Tiara del Fuego?

MILLER: It's in a song by somebody. Popsicle...

O'REILLY: Del Fuego. Tiara del Fuego is the southern-most tip of South America. OK. So this was a good joke, in your opinion. You're a professional comedian. Why — why did it offend some sensibilities?

MILLER: Because America has turned in to that rarest of all creatures: the mincing leviathan. Now Achilles caught one in the heel. Capone got brought down on taxes. My hero, Jack Lambert, hasn't retired from turf. So who would have thought that the great United States of America would have been brought down by the ameba of political correctness? But that's exactly what's happening here. We are a mincing leviathan, and it's just...

O'REILLY: It is. It's depressing, is it not? It's just awful. You say anything and you've got these whiners: "How could he say that when people are being killed?"

So what do we do about this? I mean, we can mock these mincing leviathan fans. I love that, mincing leviathan. That sounds like a new show on ABC, "Mincing Leviathan."

MILLER: Yes, it is. They put mincing leviathans in a house, and a girl has to pick from one of them.

O'REILLY: It's big. It will be big. So what do we do about this, Miller?

MILLER: You know what, Bill? I — I must tell you for the first time I'm puzzled as to an answer. I do know what I'm going to do. I'm going to build a bigger wall, because I don't think this thing is retrievable, as far as political correctness goes. I'm waiting for the high sign from you to head into the bunker, and remember to bring the falcon hood for Beck so we can get sleep at night.

O'REILLY: Yes, I'm not going into the bunker though. I'm going to — if I have to go, I'm going out fighting. I'm not hiding. I don't care what happens. But look...

MILLER: We've got to do what Clint Eastwood said. We've got to do what Clint Eastwood said. We can't play anymore. We've got to go back to a time where you could say things and not think everybody was emotional Filo dough and that we're going to go to pieces.

O'REILLY: I agree, but you know what the good news is?


O'REILLY: Guys like you and me are making a fortune because we don't buy into that, because we'll say what's on our mind, and there are enough Americans who believe the way we do, that this is a bunch of garbage. And even if they don't like it, they want to hear straight talk. Now...

MILLER: Great joke. Mr. President, killer joke.

O'REILLY: We've been talking how the media is very sympathetic, it seems, to this Times Square alleged bomber. Listen to this sound bite. I want you to react to this sound bite. This is a guy named Jim Acosta on CNN. Go.


JIM ACOSTA, CNN CORRESPONDENT: It can be confirmed that his house was foreclosed on in recent years. I mean, one would have to imagine that that brought a lot of pressure and a lot of heartache on that family.


O'REILLY: I mean, the house was foreclosed on, so I'm going to blow up as many people as I can.

MILLER: It's not even about — Billy, that's not — that's not even about the guy in Times Square. That's about Acosta. A kid who's a product of a feel-good, touchy-feely, morally relativistic upbringing, who feels if he can get in early on this. It's probably 48 hours. The guy attempts to set up a bomb, and it doesn't go off. You can peel back the soft underbelly. That makes Acosta feel like he's special, he's deeper, he's wiser than I.

We're in a real world. This is the point where Ton Maneiro (ph), the old man, leans across the spaghetti bowl and says, "What, are you stupid, for God's sakes?" He would have probably had to — he would have probably had to wait another 48 hours if the bomb had gone off.

But I guarantee you, Acosta and people like him feel that they can carve out a niche that makes them imbued with some special knowledge, if they get in early and look at it through a different prism. But guess what? There is no other prism sometimes.

O'REILLY: Right. But I don't think that...

MILLER: There's bad people in the world.

O'REILLY: That guy, I don't know him. Wouldn't be sympathetic if it was a Tea Party person implicated, as I said early on. So it is — they do come at it from a very, very decided political point of view.

Now, you're a big sports guy, and how about those Suns, the Phoenix Suns basketball team wearing a new jersey. It had "Los" — that means "the" — Suns. Now, of course, they're a bunch of pinheads, because if they really wanted to honor Cinco de Mayo today and the Hispanic community, it would be "Los Sols." "Sols" is "sun" in Spanish. I guess they don't even know that. This is off the Arizona new law. Again, political correctness coming right back at it.

MILLER: Listen, I — first off, I think the world of Steve Nash, but I heard him talking about this today, and it sounds like kid-like stuff to me. Steve, what if we were empathetic with the illegals coming and we met them at our border and gave them all a shower and a full hot meal and $100 American dollars and put them in a beautiful Stratocruiser (ph) bus and took them up — you're Canadian — to the Canada border and just set them free across the border? You know you'd have problems with that.

This isn't a racist thing. This is what happened. A patriarchal figure, a rancher in the community was killed. I empathize with his family first, not somebody who's hypotheticalizing months down the road they're going to get pulled over by some road cop.

This is a signal flare from the state of Arizona. They've thrown up their hands. They don't know what to do. The Titanic is listing, and this is a flare to get some attention. I'm empathetic, too, but right now I'm empathetic to the family who's looking up from dining room table, and the old man's dead because he was croaked by some drug addict who was in the country illegally from Mexico. I'll get to the empathy for the guy who might be rousted by a bad cop down the road. Right now, my heart aches for that family and that guy.

O'REILLY: All right. Dennis Miller, everybody. No political correctness in sight.