Dennis Miller on Reports That Clooney Is Advising Obama, Edwards Affair

This is a rush transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," August 13, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: A London newspaper, The Daily Mail, reports that committed-left actor George Clooney is actually advising Barack Obama on his campaign.

Now, Clooney told "Access Hollywood" that is complete bull, that he spoke with Obama just one time in a year and a half. Be that as it may, the question is: If left-wing Hollywood gets behind Senator Obama, will that hurt or help him?

Joining us now to sort it all out from Los Angeles, a man who knows the entertainment industry very well, the Miller guy, Dennis.

You know, I tend to believe Clooney on this one. We called The Daily Mail in London. You know, they couldn't back up what they're printing. Clooney was pretty adamant that, you know, he only talked to them once. But there are going to be all kind of lefty actors roaming around Denver, jumping up and down, and they're going to be there in force in the convention. Will that hurt or help Obama?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, first I have to demarcate, because this has somehow been put into story one. This is story one and two. I don't believe Clooney talks to him. I think George is a straight shooter.

Now, I don't feel "Good Night and Good Luck" was a brave film. I thought it was a very good film. And I know I don't agree with George politically, but I do think he's a straight shooter. I don't think Barack Obama and he talk about this. I feel a little loopy about entering this through that door. They don't talk. I believe Clooney. I don't tend to believe him. I believe him. So I guess they don't talk.

If you've got a bunch of nimrods running around in trucker hats at this thing out in Hollywood talking about, you know, if we want to save Georgia, we've got to get Michael Vick out and release the dogs, yes, it's going to hurt Barack Obama, because they're going to look like idiots. But that has nothing to do with the Clooney thing.

O'REILLY: All right. So nimrods will hurt Obama, but Clooney so far has not.

Now, the only Clooney deal that raises a little bit of suspicion is that Clooney is going to hold a big fund-raiser out at Clooney's palace in Lake Como in Italy for Barack Obama. So you know, there is some relationship there. But I don't think it matters. I agree with you.

Look, if Barack Obama wants to get advice from George Clooney, fine. Maybe there will be an "Ocean's 14" if Obama doesn't win and he'll take the Don Cheadle role. That could happen, all right? But...

MILLER: Listen, when we say "palace" about George Clooney's place, I don't have any ax to grind. I think palace almost insinuates — I like people who bust their butt and rise to the top of their profession.

O'REILLY: OK, but it's a palace. Have you seen it?

MILLER: I think he does a nice job.

O'REILLY: Have you seen it?

MILLER: It's a nice house. Yes, I have a nice house, too. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something. I kind of like Clooney. I don't agree with Clooney at all. I like him.

O'REILLY: OK, but in your house, do you have serfs?

MILLER: You mean S-E-R-F-S?

O'REILLY: It's a joke, Miller. I know you're the comedian, but I'm just throwing you a little jazz, all right?

MILLER: All right, all right.

O'REILLY: OK, now, look, nimrods aside, because we all know nimrods are no good, if the left Hollywood community turns out in force in Denver and there you have Ben Affleck, you have Matthew Modine, you have whatever fruit flavor of the month, other people are there yelling about Obama is the greatest guy. And the folks at home in Toledo, Ohio, which is going to be a key precinct in this election, how are they going to process that? Yes, good, bad, ugly, what?

MILLER: I think we're to the point now with Hollywood where, listen, Hollywood, I live in and work in to some degree. I disagree with it almost completely. I don't dislike it. I look at guys like Affleck and that, and I think, well, that's what Ben Affleck thinks. I assume most people in Toledo, Ohio, think that having something to do with "Good Will Hunting" has nothing to do with who you're voting for for president.

O'REILLY: So you don't think it's going to hurt Clooney (sic) with these guys out for him? OK.

Now, on my radio program...

MILLER: Michael Moore hurts.

O'REILLY: Yes, well, he's a nimrod, is he not?

MILLER: Yes.

O'REILLY: OK. I'm just kidding. We have something on Moore tomorrow night you're going to want to watch on "The Factor," by the way, Miller. Don't miss this.

MILLER: He's getting big now. You must put that story on IMAX.

O'REILLY: OK. On my radio program, the Edwards thing, not much. Your radio program?

MILLER: I would say that, surprisingly, my listeners are having trouble getting their head around a guy having sex with another woman when his wife has cancer. And I know you have to do devil's advocate on this stuff, but I haven't liked Edwards since he gave Cheney the green light on approving his daughter's sex life. He's a poorly drawn John Grisham character who got caught with his "pelican briefs" down here.

There are two Americas now: him and everybody else who doesn't believe him on this one. And I think he's a bad guy. I always have thought he's a bad guy. To say that he's an empty suit does a disservice to clothes hangers. And my only solace for the evening is when they did trace him into that bathroom at the hotel. He got in there and behind him, he heard Larry Craig tapping away in the stall and he didn't know where to go.

O'REILLY: All right. Mr. T after your last appearance, and you said some nice things about Mr. T. He sent you a nice note and a present, I understand?

MILLER: Mr. T is so beautiful. He sends me a five-pack of Snickers. And by the way, one little thought. This will tell you how the recession is hitting us eventually. We're down to five-packs. I remember when six- packs were de rigueur. But he sends me a five-pack of Snickers, and on the front cover it says, "Get some nuts," and they're good. They taste good.

And I like Mr. T. I thought he was a sweet guy. And I would encourage the homosexual community take a couple days off. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned homosexual sex? Now they're just eternally vigilant about perceived slights. There was a reason you went to homosexuality. You're gay now. Be happy!

O'REILLY: Did you eat the Snickers, Miller?

MILLER: I ate two of the Snickers, I'm sorry to say. I now officially weigh more than Mr. T.

O'REILLY: OK. Because they sent me a whole bunch of Snickers, and my staff looted them. I didn't get one Snicker. Not that I'm asking for any. I like Snickers. But I'm glad you got a couple of Snickers out of it, because I didn't get any.

Dennis Miller, everybody.

MILLER: I have no staff.

O'REILLY: That's right. And you don't deserve a staff. And you don't have serfs at your palace, and Clooney does.

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