Dennis Miller on Hillary's 'Sopranos' Spoof

This is a partial transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," June 20, 2007, that has been edited for clarity.

BILL O’REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, the star of his own syndicated radio program everyday, has some thoughts on Hillary, "The Sopranos," and Travolta. Dennis Miller joins us now from Los Angeles.

You know, when I saw this...

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Good evening, Officer O'Reilly.

O'REILLY: When I saw this Hillary/"Sopranos" commercial, the first thing that popped into my mind was Miller is going to definitely have a lot to say on this. So go.

MILLER: I liked it. You know, I heard Hannity pounding away at it today about the message and all of that. And I just thought it was a funny thing.

I don't know. They were a little stiff. But you're talking to a guy who played the lead in "Bordello of Blood." So you know, I've done my own stiff acting somewhere along the line.

O'REILLY: I think you were relaxed when they poured the bucket of blood on you in that classic film.

But look, I don't know why anybody would object to it. I mean, it was designed to make her more human. Like Hillary Clinton watches the same programs that we watch. Yes, sure. It certainly wasn't anything that anybody should get mad about. Do you agree with that?

MILLER: Well, like I said, I heard callers on talk radio today. You know, they were up in arms. And I thought, boy, we've all got to relax. And I kind of liked it. The irony of the piece was that the guy who played the guy at the counter was Johnny Sack, and I believe when Clinton travels, that's the name he registers under. So, I just thought it was a cute joke.

O'REILLY: Man, Miller. I mean, now what am I going to do? They're going to say I said that. All right.

MILLER: No, no, I just — Bill, I report the news.

O'REILLY: Yes. So you had no problem with that. You understand why it was done, to humanize her. Do you think it worked in that regard?

MILLER: Listen, I look at Hillary, and I think of the Peter Benchley shark. She swims. She moves water over political gills and she eats. Within the confines of that, this is an effort.

Do I think she would have done this just capriciously with Bill to have a lark, no I don't. But I think somebody told her, "Listen. They think you're a little strident. Let's try it."

She did, and I thought it was cute.

O'REILLY: OK. Now, you told us you want to — this isn't my fault again, ladies and gentlemen. This is Miller. See, I have to disassociate on some level.

He wants to talk about Rosie O'Donnell possibly getting "Price is Right." Go.

MILLER: I dislike the idea of it, because first off, they'd have to change the show to "The Price is Left."

And I love the idea of a game show getting politically strident where at the end of each show she says, “Don't forget to have your president spayed or neutered.” I just think that the only drawback to the whole thing might be — I know they've had trouble in the past there with — you know, the emcee flirting with the female models. So I don't know if they'll be able to go down that road. But I think it would be interesting to see Rosie on "The Price is Right."

O'REILLY: I don't think that's going to happen, myself. I just think the audience for that show is so traditional that they probably wouldn't. It's a good gig. It will pay a lot of money, whoever gets it. But I don't think that...

MILLER: When you're watching the thing come down the Plinko board, they don't want to hear that it's like the bombs we're dropping on innocent civilians. I just want to watch the Plinko boards.

O'REILLY: It is an inside job at 9/11. Come on down, you people who really did it. You know?

And by the way, there's a new Purdue study we're going to tell people about in "Most Ridiculous Item" that proves it was not an inside job. We sent that over to Ms. O'Donnell.

Finally, last night we had a very interesting story about a gay movement to boycott the movie "Hairspray," which opens in a few weeks, because John Travolta stars in it as a woman. And Travolta is a Scientologist. And the gays don't like Scientology because they say that the Scientologists try to convert people from gayness to straightness. I think this is just ridiculous, and what do you think?

MILLER: What I can tell you, homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

What, I'm going to help homosexuals by not seeing "Hairspray?" Somebody is going to have to lead me through that connection, because I can't put those thoughts together.

Lighten up. I like it when gays were a little more out on the fringe, and they weren't so mundane about things. It's a movie. It was written — it's directed by a gay guy. Please, please let it go.

O'REILLY: See, I don't understand why gays get upset if somebody wants to go to Scientology and be straight. And say, "Look, I'm gay. I'm going to pay you $200,000 to make me straight." Which, you know, Scientology is a very expensive proposition.

Why do they care? You know, it's like, look, I'm a straight guy; you're a straight guy. Right, Miller?

MILLER: Yes.

O'REILLY: All right. Now if some straight guy wants to be gay, and he's going to go to therapy to change, I don't care. Do you care?

MILLER: I think Travolta hit the nail on the head. He said, "I don't talk about my bedroom habits or my bathroom habits." And it's the truth. The least I owe anybody is a complete and utter indifference to their sexual proclivities. I don't care.

O'REILLY: What do they care?

MILLER: I'm bored by it.

O'REILLY: If some heterosexual wants to be gay, so what? Let him go. It's less competition for the heterosexual single guys. Why do they care?

MILLER: Now, let me get this straight before we leave each other today.

O'REILLY: Yes.

MILLER: You did say that you're straight?

O'REILLY: Yes.

MILLER: OK.

O'REILLY: Was there a doubt in your mind?

MILLER: No, no, no. Not at all. No.

O'REILLY: Miller. Man, you know?

All right. Dennis Miller, everybody. Very confused out on the left coast.

MILLER: Don't boycott me.

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