Polar Opposites

What's the difference between Alan Greenspan and Santa Claus? I'll tell you. None!

Yet to see all these senators tripping over themselves to praise the guy, you'd think Saint Al "was" Saint Nick. Newsflash: He's not!

Santa deserves the good press. I don't know about Al.

Santa's generous all the time. Alan's generous only some of the time.

When Santa screws up on a toy order, he makes good. When Alan screws up on a premature rate hike, he still acts like he's doing good.

Santa lives at the North Pole but doesn't mind the cold. Alan lives in Washington and just leaves me cold.

Santa's weapon of choice is a list -- he checks it twice. Alan's weapon of choice are interest rates -- he's been known to raise them more than twice.

Alan's overdone it in the past and boy did we pay. The worst you could say about Santa is he just made us "play."

Santa laughs. Alan never laughs.

Santa's a big guy. I like big guys. Alan's a thin guy. I get nervous around thin guys.

Santa says “Ho-ho.” Al's always saying “No-no.”

Santa speaks clearly. Asks, have you been good? Al never speaks clearly. Asks, have we been overly accommodative to crosswinds that are at odds with inflationary pressures building globally?

What?

Not once have I heard Santa talk about headwinds when he's flying. That's all I hear out of Al when he and his gang are hiking.

I can understand sucking up to Santa. For the life of me, I cannot fathom sucking up to Al.

So I have an idea: Bring Santa to the Fed and ship Al to the North Pole.

I'd love to see how Santa deals with bureaucrats and how Al deals with elves.

Watch Neil Cavuto weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on "Your World with Cavuto."