Updated

So President Obama was just interviewed in Rolling Stone magazine, that thinning pamphlet aimed at our country's dwindling supply of pony-tailed pensioners.

When asked about Fox News, this is what our commander-in-chief had to say:

"I think Fox … is part of the tradition that has a very clear, undeniable point of view. It's a point of view that I disagree with. It's a point of view that I think is ultimately destructive for the long-term growth of a country that has a vibrant middle class and is competitive in the world. But as an economic enterprise, it's been wildly successful."

OK, let me get this straight: You're the President of the United States, with both Houses under your control. You also have the most fawning press of any president in the history of the universe. And yet you let FNC get under your skin, because it's the only network that doesn't have a thrill up its leg?

Obama is like a sports team who owns the ref, the fans and the field, but refuses to play until the kid in the tenth row stops chewing gum.

So let's indulge his fantasy and imagine if Fox News didn't exist. The good old days, when the only media was a liberal one.

Well, Obama would still be in trouble.

See, it wasn't Fox who started the tea parties. It was CNBC'S Rick Santelli and then America went crazy with it.

In fact, I’d say it would be far worse for Obama if there was no Fox News, because then he'd only have the American people to get mad at. There is no Republican adversary right now, and without Fox News--who's left? You.

And this is why the crybaby-in-chief needs us. It provides cover, so Obama can criticize Americans without ever saying "those Americans." He can just say Fox News instead.

I don't mind. We're happy to help.

And if you disagree with me, you're a racist, homophobic, taurophobe.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com