I think I've figured out these Washington hearings.

First of all, they're not hearings, they're lectures.

And the invited aren't witnesses, they're piñatas.

That's what BP's Tony Hayward was on Thursday: a big, old piñata with an annoying British accent, no less — which works fine in James Bond movies, but wasn’t exactly cutting it today in Washington.

Look, Tony had it coming. BP's a disaster and he's the guy in charge of the disaster. Trouble is, his questioners today were just disastrous.

I'm not taking BP's side, but after today's performance, I'm thinking about it.

Clueless, tin-ear James Bond corporate villain, versus witless, big-mouthed, chest-thumping politicians. At least Tony acknowledged he botched it. Not a word from Tony’s tormentors that they let him botch it. If he's Satan, is their best defense that they're stupid?

If he had all these safety violations and did nothing, why wasn't anyone in Congress anywhere doing anything? And if they really wanted to put a cap on this leak, why not first put a cork on anything that takes any BP executive away from this leak — like, I don't know, a kangaroo court hearing?

Let's leave aside anyone in Congress lecturing anyone about money wasted. Let's leave aside the questioners who'd sooner see a witness flounder, than feign some phony tears for some real flounder or fake some anger for those left jobless in the Gulf and say not a word for policies that continue to leave tens of million jobless in America.

And let's leave aside those who'd happily point out where BP went wrong without ever once pointing to a single incident before on since this mess where Congress has done anything right.

No, that's what's wrong: Free spending politicians who have the nerve to say BP's too cheap and tin-eared dopes who have the audacity to say Tony Hayward won’t listen. Because you know what's worse than a company pretending it's sorry? Congress pretending it cares.

Watch Neil Cavuto weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on "Your World with Cavuto" and send your comments to cavuto@foxnews.com

Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.