"I love it when you run your…"
"All day long I’ve been thinking about touching…"
"I’m going to work my way down from your neck to your…"
No, it’s not a script for a new adult film. It’s a few thoughts to get you in the mood to create a script for your own private bedroom scenes. Many people find it difficult to talk to their partner in bed. But an even greater number love to hear more than a few sweet nothings whispered in their ear.
Why? That’s simple. It’s not because there’s something wrong with them. It’s because there’s something very right with them. The brain is the largest and most – well, almost most — important sex organ. Your body can be giving and receiving all the right things. But if you’re head’s not in the game, you can forget about making MVP. And nothing gets you in the zone like hearing just the right words at just the right moment.
I know, the prospect of talking dirty in bed can seem daunting. You don’t want to sound stupid, and you certainly don’t want your words to have the opposite effect than intended. So, here are five tips to get you going:
1. Start Slow
You don’t have to give a play-by-play. Practice out loud ahead of time, saying a few key phrases, and test out one or two the next time you hit the sheets.
2. Be Creative
You don’t have to mimic what you’ve read in books or seen in films; use language that suits you and your partner. If the words for a rooster or a cat (if you know what I mean) seem too naughty or too coarse, use your own pet names -- or don’t use anything at all.
"I want to kiss you all over," or "I’ve been waiting all day to get my hands…and mouth…on you" work just as effectively.
3. Be Brave
Chances are good that your partner will love it, and he or she will surely feel empowered to give it a whirl once they see how comfortable you are with the idea.
4. Keep It Light
Talking dirty doesn’t have to be serious. If something comes out all wrong, laugh it off. And making jokes in bed is not only allowed, it’s encouraged, as long as it doesn’t entail putting yourself or your partner down – that’s never sexy.
If your partner has ever detailed a fantasy, use your words to create the scene.
"The doctor will see you now…"
"Oh, yes, Captain, I’d do anything to save the universe."
"Professor, I need a little help with my anatomy homework…"
You get the idea.
Sex is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to relieve stress, not create it. So, don’t get all wound up about doing it "right," because there is no "right." There’s only what works for you and your partner.
It’s all about trusting yourself and your relationship and having a little fun. If you can’t let loose with the person you're intimate with, who can you let loose with?
And although sighs and moans can certainly enhance the scene, just think about how much more amazing your sex life will be if you can guide your partner to all the right places and take advantage of knowing just what rings his or her bells.
Come on, you know you want to . . .
Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas, Texas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family" edited by Rebecca Walker and "It’s a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters" edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her Web site at www.jennyonthepage.com.