What Exactly Is Eric Holder Hiding?

While Charlie Sheen enters "prehab" — which I initially thought was rehab for preteens — it made me wonder if it's not Sheen who needs help, but Eric Holder.

Fact is, the attorney general is hooked on something far worse than drugs: It's lawyers who defend terrorists.

This addiction — rooted in his belief that America is to blame for everything, including his mustache — would be harmless if it were held by a Media Matters blogger. I mean, that's just a sap stuck in the attic trying on grandma's underwear.

But, this dude is in the White House and, by the looks of it, he's using on the job — big time.

You want to know how bad it's gotten? The New York Times reported that Rahm Emanuel tried to hire "a minder" for Holder — much in the way a band manager would for a smack-addled singer. Minders keep you from missing a gig; but in this case, it was meant to keep Holder out.

But still, the addiction rages. If you look at his department, it's full of lawyers who defend our enemies.

As The New York Post reports, last November, Sen. Charles Grassley demanded to know how many Justice Department lawyers had defended terrorist-detainees. Just days ago, Holder confessed: Among the nine(!), there was Neal Katyal, who defended bin Laden's driver, and Jennifer Daskal, the "detainee point-person for Human Rights Watch."

If you don't know what Human Rights Watch is, they only care about the rights of creeps who want to take your rights away.

Anyway, Holder won't identify the other seven, which is natural for an addict: You have to hide your stash to the very end, even if it ultimately leads to your own ruin.

And if you disagree with me, you're worse than a racist Nazi who wears fur to a cockfight.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld