Updated

A quick trip around Hannity's America...

Piggy Bank

The nation is confronting a public health scare, but don't worry, the left isn't taking a time out from the game of partisan politics. Democrats wasted no time in laying responsibility for the swine flu outbreak at the doorstep of — you guessed it — evil Republicans!

In particular, they blasted Maine Senator Susan Collins, who had the audacity to oppose funding to combat pandemic flu in the economic stimulus bill, you know, on the grounds that the stimulus bill just wasn't the right place for that sort of funding.

That didn't fly with the far left. The Nation magazine said, "Collins played politics with public health, and the economic recovery. That makes her about as bad a player as you will find in a town full of bad players."

Well, it just so happens that another one of those bad players was New York Democrat Chuck Schumer, who before the stimulus bill passed, expressed relief that "all those little porky things that the House put in — the money for the [national] mall or the sexually transmitted diseases or the flu pandemic — they're all out."

Funny, I guess I missed it Monday when all the liberals were wailing about Chuck Schumer's dangerous lack of concern for public health.

Worst Briefing Ever!

Liberal Translation has been pre-empted by what can only be described as Robert Gibbs' worst press briefing to date! Words simply cannot do justice to just how embarrassing his performance was Monday behind the podium.

So in case you missed it, we have the lowlights for you:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ROBERT GIBBS, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY:
I — I have not seen that before. I did not see that before I came out here.

I don't know who from state.

I'd have to go look at the information.

I would point you to the FAA or Air Force.

I would contact the White House.

I have seen some news reports but — I — I don't know.

I was working on other things.

I've got no information on that.

Extrapolating on the follow-up is going to be hard for me to provide information based on the fact that the basis of the previous question I didn't have any information to answer it.

I will check on it. Again it's hard for me to go three levels down when, you know — sorry. Sorry.

MAJOR GARRETT, FOX NEWS SENIOR WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: Is the White House actively curious about Mr. Solis and the cause of his death? He did — he wasn't — he was next to the president. He was there. There is video of him on the 16th.

GIBBS: Let me check. Let me check.

The real question that I've said five minutes ago that I would try to find out. I haven't forgotten.

I will certainly check. Again, let me...

Giving an answer on the seventh time has yet to break through. So let me try an eighth.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: His health is not what we're asking about.

GIBBS: No, no, no.

Boy, I'm glad I'm not a public health spokesman. Let me just try this one more time.

Guys, I — my ears work fine. I will check on the question.

I'm going to find out this information.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Robert, is there anything you do know the answer to?! That briefing will no doubt go down in the history books. Congratulations.

Gun Enthusiast

If you thought the peanut farming president only had wisdom to dispense on foreign policy matters, boy were you wrong!

In last weekend's New York Times, President Carter waded into the issue of gun control and unloaded some pearls of wisdom. I bet you didn't know he was a gun enthusiast. Carter said, "I have used weapons since I was big enough to carry one, and now own two handguns, four shotguns and three rifles."

And get this: President Carter loves guns so much that he doesn't want anybody to own them! And he has a great reason, saying, "None of us wants to own an assault weapon, because we have no desire to kill policemen or go to a school... to see how many victims we can accumulate before we are shot or take our own lives."

Oh, I see! Anybody who wants to own an assault weapons wants to kill policemen! Mister President, I'm glad even though you've moved on to the issue of gun control, you're still employing that great Carter reasoning we've all come to know and love.

No Laughing Matter

Revenge is sweet and there is word out of Boston Tuesday that Janeane Garofalo is going to get a heavy dose of it next week when the "24" star appears at the Alternative Comedy Festival.

The Boston Herald reports that supporters of the Boston tea party protests earlier this month are planning to attend one of her upcoming stand-up performances and give her a piece of their mind as a result of these disgraceful comments:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JANEANE GAROFALO, COMEDIAN: Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston Tea Party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Garofalo's performance is slated for May 8 and tickets are reportedly going fast. Unfortunately for the left-wing actress, many of the tickets are being sold to the same tea partiers that she labeled "racists." Organizers of the festival say any protestors will be dealt with like any other out of control heckler and asked to leave.

Looks like Janeane isn't going to get the last laugh this time around. Good luck in Boston!

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