Iraqi Shoe Journalist Has It Made

So that Iraqi journalist who became a hero to Bush-haters everywhere for heaving his shoes at the former president just got three years in jail for the act.

You might think that's harsh, but consider that a crime like that under Iraqi law usually receives up to 15 years. But perhaps more important, you have to wonder what the punishment would have been if he had hurled his hush puppies at, say, the lovable hirsute scamp that President Bush helped eliminate.

Before the loafer would hit the linoleum, Saddam Hussein would have fed the reporter's reproductive organs to the poor guy's family — before killing them all in profoundly amusing and inventive ways.

Because, that's the way Hussein liked to hang. Before we hanged him.

So unlike most folks in the media establishment, I don't think this reporter was any great shakes. He threw a shoe at my president and, whether you're a Republican or a Democrat, he's basically throwing a shoe at America.

I have to wonder how Chris Matthews would react if the same had happened to Barack Obama. My guess it would be a mix of outrage and more outrage — with some outrage thrown in.

Anyway, bottom line: this journalist has it made. He'll be out in three years, land in Manhattan with a seven-figure book deal, a gig on the lecture circuit, a regular spot on Olbermann and a hot girlfriend with amazing implants.

It will be at that point, the chap will realize: maybe Bush had the right idea.

And if you disagree with me, you're worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com