Why Phone When You Can Blog Instead?

If you're like me, you've noticed more people are sharing their most intimate secrets over the Internet.

One female blogger writes about her sexual experiences with another blogger. Then that twerpy blogger writes a response in a news magazine. Then a Web guru severs a relationship on his Web site and the creepy ex goes public by selling his clothes on eBay.

Meanwhile, John Mayer posts this message on his blog:

"Dear Ex Lover, perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore.... Goodbye."

But then he adds my favorite line: "P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."

With all these folks using public means for personal communication, I started to wonder: If only there was a better way to talk to people, you know, one on one — even if you're far away! You could dial them up, or punch in a seven-digit code and speak into this device.

Sounds crazy, I know.

Today it seems the Internet has become a giant phone. And we've become victims of "reverse intrusion" — people foisting their own stupid personal lives on us.

The worst part? Afterwards, when they plead for privacy. Sorry, it's too late. Unlike my houseboys on a Saturday night, you can't have it both ways.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir, are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com