Are you complaining too much... or not enough?
Everybody does it, it's just a matter of how and how often. Check out this guide on how to complain the right way, so the next time you voice a complaint you don't come off looking like a whiner and you get what you want:
1. Complaining is good, but only when you do it the right way! If you don't complain and hold it all inside, resentment can eat away at you. But be forewarned: Complaining about every little thing can get you the reputation of being a whiner.
2. Complain with a goal: Are you just venting or are you seeking a result? Stating a complaint with a goal in mind increases your chances of getting the outcome that you desire.
3. Say what you do want, not what you don't want: If you are going to make a complaint, you should try to offer a possible solution to the issue. Even if that is not the agreement you ultimately come to, at least you have shown that you are invested in resolving the problem and you are willing to make an effort to come to a resolution.
4. Give a reason: Research has shown that when people hear a reason with a complaint, they automatically give the complaint more validity. For example, don't say "You never come home for dinner!" Instead say, "I'm upset that you come home late every night, because I enjoy having dinner with you."
5. Get a green light: Learn when is and is not a good time to raise your complaint. If your spouse already had a rough day at work, unloading your laundry list of complaints the second they step in the door is probably not going to yield the results that you want. Instead, try to find a neutral time to talk to each other when you both have enough time to address the complaint and come up with a resolution.
6. How to respond to a complaint:
a. Show that you're listening. Give emotional resonance by rephrasing the complaint. Repeat the complaint back to the person to soothe them and show them you're listening.
b. Don't take sides when a friend complains to you about her husband. It's best to remain neutral, you never know when your comments might come back and haunt you (for example, at a dinner party six months later).
E.D. Hill anchors 'FOX News Live' weekdays from 11 a.m. to noon ET.