Ten million dollars.

That's what Bardia Persa, creator of the new Web site ParisExposed.com, says he paid a broker for the contents of Paris Hilton's storage unit — which contained, among other things, a prescription for the antibiotic doxycycline -- which among other things, is used to treat venereal disease.

Why do you think Persa would pay such an insane amount of money for this stuff — junk that even Paris didn't care enough about to pay the storage bill for, which resulted in this mess?

Obviously, Persa figured there are so many morons are out there who would shell out $39.99 for the privilege of being a cyber-voyeur into Hilton's private life that he would earn back that $10 million and then some.

And that, my Grrring friends, is where the problem lies.

The very notion that anyone would think a piece of Hilton's junk is worth $39.99 goes straight to the heart of how obsessed America is with this talentless little rich girl.

But like last month, when I almost felt sorry for Britney Spears when news broke that she "passed out" at a New Year's Eve party that I happened to be at and witnessed no such thing, I almost feel sorry for Paris Hilton here.

There is a lesson in this, folks.

How many of you store personal items in a private storage garage? Did you know that if you failed to pay your bill, the owner of the business can sell your stuff to the highest bidder?

But just how does said owner find the highest bidder anyway? Do you think there's a smut Yellow Pages listing jerks who would post someone's private information on the Web for all to see?

Very scary indeed.

Hilton spokesman Elliot Mintz says he and his client are "keeping her legal options open." I for one hope that this time Hilton comes out the winner in a court of law.

Even the most obsessed person out to be a celebrity at all costs (i.e. Paris Hilton) wouldn't want to make headlines with news of her highly embarrassing medication prescriptions.

You know what? I do feel sorry for Paris.

Hopefully she too will feel sorry, and take a long vacation from the spotlight after this.

Here's to hoping her next coming out party introduces a more refined, respectable and smarter woman.

Stupid Lit'l Dreamer

Longtime readers of the Grrr! column know that "Stupid Lit'l Dreamer" is included in The Grrr! Lexicon, because one of my buddies used to call me on the phone when I was just getting started in this business, pretending to be a media big shot and claiming to have my resume in front of him, calling about a great opportunity.

Just when he thought he had me hook, line and sinker, he'd break out into the Supertramp song, singing "Dreamer, You Stupid Lit'l Dreamer!"

He got me many times.

But being a dreamer and working toward one's goals is the American way, and God knows I'm a red-blooded American.

So, thanks to all of you Grrr readers who have clicked in week after week over the past few years for the Grrr! Column, one of my dreams is about to come to fruition.

St. Martin's Press is putting out "GRRR! Celebrities Are Ruining Our Country and Other Reasons Why We're All In Trouble," next week — two days after the Super Bowl (Feb. 6).

And while I knew this was happening for several months now, it didn't really hit me until this week when I received the final, hardcover book with the glossy cover and everything.

Suffice it to say, I'm pretty psyched, and I hope that if you buy it you'll enjoy it and pass it on, but most of all, Keep On Grrring!

Thanks again.

Click Here for Your Grrrs

Respond to Mike | Pre-Order The GRRR! Book | Mike's Page | The GRRR! Archives