GRRR! Oblivion of the Year Nominations

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the country, the Oblivions were stirring, because it's time for the annual Oblivion of the Year nominations.

The winner of the Oblivion of the Year award, based on your votes, will be announced in Tuesday's column.


And the nominees are....

Mel Gibson

After being pulled over for drunk driving in posh Malibu, Calif., a town that Gibson says he "owns" -- who knew? -- Mad Mel went on an anti-Semitic tirade asking his arresting officer if he was "a Jew," (he was), and then going on to state that "Jews were responsible for all the wars in the world." Again, who knew?

After the police report was made public and a media frenzy and public backlash ensued, Gibson did what any person schooled in the Hollywood Crisis 101 Handbook would do: He entered rehab. Hooray for Hollyweird!

Britney Spears

Oops, she did it again!

First she married the biggest loser on the planet and did a really bad TV show based on their courtship, and then she drove her car with her infant son Sean Preston in her lap and then she nearly dropped Sean Preston while balancing a drink in one hand (good thing her bodyguard was there to support her).

Now, after filing for divorce, the one-time-pop-princess-turned-flasher has gone late-night carousing and partying with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan -- sans panties -- for the whole world to see.

One could almost feel sorry for Brit, being that her new BFFs are only using her for the publicity, just like K-Fed only used her for her money, but then Brit goes on her Web site and writes a lame apology about how it's been a while since she's been able to go out with "friends."

Yeah, Brit, it's called being a parent and a positive role model. It's like Brandon Lee's character says in the movie "The Crow": "Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children."

Good going, Brit.


Where do I begin? Madonna is so self-absorbed that she couldn't accept the fact that Angelina Jolie was getting all the kudos and good press for her work with UNICEF and in adopting needy children from third world countries, so she just had to have a little needy baby to call her own.

And darn it, what Madonna wants, Madonna gets. So she donates a few million dollars to the African nation Malawi and lo and behold, a child is hers. The only problem was there was no waiting process like there is for every other prospective adoptive parent, and there's that one other little detail: The kid has a family!

And while David Banda's father did willingly turn over his loving son to the pop matriarch, something tells the majority of people in this world that if Madonna really wanted to do the right thing for little David, perhaps writing a check to Papa Banda and adopting him from afar might have been better course of action.

It's not like there aren't enough children in Malawi in need of adoption.

Michael Richards

Look, there's a racist. Racist, racist, racist!

By now we all know what Michael Richards, the actor who played Kramer on "Seinfeld," did when took to the stage at Los Angeles' Laugh Factory after being heckled by a group of black men: He called them the n-word and went on a tirade that made Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic rant seem like a Shakespearean sonnet.

You can't make this stuff up, folks: "A hundred years ago you'd be hanging with a fork up your a--." Huh?

Shockingly, Richards didn't go into rehab, but he did meet with Jesse Jackson. Now isn't that special?

Now of course, Richards' "victims" hired lawyer Gloria Allred, so we know "Kramer" will be paying big time for his little stand-up act. Perhaps Brandon Lee's character from "The Crow" should have said: "Money is another word for God on the lips and hearts of all 'victims.'"

O.J. Simpson

This is obvious on so many levels, however, the fact that O.J. Simpson would even conceive of something so despicable as "If I Did It" is low, even for him.

For a guy who purports to love his children and to be innocent of the murders of their mother and her friend, "If I Did It" goes against any basic instinct of any innocent man and should go against the very nature of any father of children who lost their mother to a brutal murder that left her nearly decapitated.

O.J.'s attempt to make money on the death of his wife, which he is widely believed to be responsible for despite a not guilty verdict, is unforgivable.

In The Non-Grrr! Category: Live From Bethlehem

This is an interesting feature from The site is offering a live stream of the Bethlehem Christmas festivities, beginning at 2 p.m. on Dec. 24, and then repeated as video on demand thereafter.

The site will stream the Bethlehem parade, the tree lighting in Manger Square and then bring site visitors inside the ancient Church of the Nativity for the Christ Mass.

There is a fee of $16 that will go to cover bandwidth and production costs.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Your GRRRs

Respond to Mike | Pre-Order the GRRR! Book | Mike's Page | The GRRR! Archives