Lisa Live: The Surreal Life

This was quite the week in entertainment. Even among the annals of celebrity weirdness, I can’t recall witnessing so many stars go haywire in such a short span of time. For those who missed out, here’s a recap:

Wesley Snipes was indicted for cooking up a scheme with his accountant to rip off the IRS for millions of dollars. This from the guy who made a reported $13 million for 2004’s final installment of the "Blade" vampire trilogy. That takes blood sucking just a little too far.

Heather Mills McCartney allegedly leaked court documents in which she claims Sir Paul McCartney — the ex-Beatle and her soon-to-be-ex-husband — intentionally cut her arm with a broken wine glass, tried to choke her, drank heavily and took drugs.

Years ago, when Paul and Heather were still dating, I interviewed McCartney in his London office. He told me that his deceased wife Linda’s voice came to him, telling him that it was OK to date Heather. Paul may be wondering now whether she meant Heather Locklear.

— In other nasty break-up news, country singer Sarah Evans performed on her final episode of "Dancing with the Stars" just as she was filing for divorce from husband Craig Schelske. The mudslinging in this one includes accusations of affairs by both and her claim that Schelske watched pornography. He says they once watched pornography together — and that their 7-year-old walked in the room when they were doing so. My advice is that the kid sue both.

George Michael told a TV talk show host that marijuana keeps him "sane and happy," while apparently puffing away on a joint during the interview. He did warn, however, that a person "can’t afford to smoke it if you’ve got anything else to do." "Anything else" apparently doesn’t include cruising in public parks.

Anna Nicole Smith says she will not submit her 6-week-old daughter for a paternity test demanded by her ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead, who claims that he — and not Smith 's current paramour/lawyer Howard K. Stern — is the child’s father. I just think it’s a shame this kid knows who her mother is.

Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie adopted a baby from the African country of Malawi. The one-year-old boy was delivered to their London home via British Airways. Not to be outdone, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt ordered two-dozen African babies to be shipped via Federal Express to their Malibu beach house.

— And finally, country singer Keith Urban checked himself into rehab for alcohol abuse less than four months after marrying actress and fellow Aussie Nicole Kidman. Urban, who has admitted past problems with cocaine, issued a statement saying, "I deeply regret the hurt this has caused Nicole and the ones that love and support me." Good for Urban. And a note to Tom Cruise: Seeking treatment will always be far nobler than couch jumping.