Nudist Resorts Coming to a Neighborhood Near You?

There goes the neighborhood.

Look out, America. The nudists are coming … and they could be coming to a major highway near you.

Though the nudist resorts of the past have traditionally been quaint, out-of-the-way places tucked in wooded areas far from traffic in textile territory, modern nudists aren't afraid to … well … shed the veil of secrecy, so to speak.

"We're no longer hiding," said Joe Lettelleir, owner of the Paradise Valley Resort in Dawsonville, Gad.

And he's not kidding. This past summer, Lettelleir took a cross-country trip to promote his soon-to-be renovated resort in a bus daring drivers to call a toll-free number to learn more about relaxing in one's birthday suit in the un-clothed lap of luxury, The Associated Press reports.

Paradise Valley is undergoing a $30 million construction phase that will include luxury townhomes, condos, and pretty much anything one might expect at a regular, clothed swim or tennis club — and it's all located just outside the city limits.

And, since they're no longer relegated to isolated country roads, today's nudists are joining their communities and hosting get-to-know-you events at their resorts. A Tampa colony even established an all-nude Lions Club, and a community in Palm Springs, Calif., built a "Bridge of Thighs" connecting two parts of their resort across a busy road to let passing drivers know they are there, they are bare, and there's nothing that can be done about it.

Gary, the resident pastor at Paradise Valley, insists that the live sans-clothes is just as normal as life in more modest settings — and it's the only life for him.

"I've got safety, contentment and happiness," said Gary, who prefers not to use his last name. "And I've got naked people. Some pretty. Some not."

Umm ... I Think That Was Supposed to Be Delivered to Me

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Somebody's truckload of money didn't show up.

Police pulled over a tractor-trailer with a Texas license plate passing through Philadelphia on Interstate 95 in the early hours Tuesday.

The two officers said they thought the truck driver was acting suspiciously, so they called for help. A police narcotics field unit and an FBI squad arrived.

A police dog sniffed around the rig. Then officers searched the truck, and found $1,072,989 in cash.

Police say the driver was released without any charges filed.

City police are working with the FBI to try to find out where the money was supposed to go.

Today's Missing Naked Lady Made of Bronze Alert Courtesy of Orlando, Florida

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Somehow, a thief or thieves was able to swipe a 50-pound bronze statue of a nude woman from an art gallery downtown in broad daylight.

The statue, titled "Crissy" and valued at $12,600, disappeared as visitors were perusing three private galleries at the CityArts Factory in downtown Orlando.

It was last seen at about 12:30 p.m. Tuesday, and may have been rolled on a trail of T-shirts and windbreakers that lead out the door.

"I thought, is there a naked person in there?" said Cassy Turiczek, executive director of the Downtown Arts District, after seeing the clothes.

"Crissy" had been at CityArts Factory for a little more than two weeks on a 4-foot pedestal in the building's community gallery, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

It featured a woman with an arched back and a swirling mane of thick hair.

And Now This From the Anatomically-Descriptive-Festival-Naming Dept.:

FORT MYERS BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Organizers of fourth annual Turkey Testicle Festival can keep their name, despite concerns about the propriety of the word and the island's virtue.

The Fort Myers Beach Council voted 4-1 Monday to allow the Surf Club bar to use the Turkey Testicle Festival name after a laugh-out-loud discussion, according to the News-Press.

Councilman Charles Meador said this year's festival will the fourth annual, and went on to list more than 12 other cities that host annual events with the name "testicle."

"Who cares what the name is," Mayor Dennis Boback said. "Money is going for a worthy cause."

The festival has raised about $3,000 for the Harry Chapin Food Bank in each of its past three years. A change in policy that requires the town council to approve special events brought the issue of the name to the table two weeks ago.

Councilmen Bill Shenko and Garr Reynolds had said the name is inappropriate for a family island. They asked that the word testicle be removed from the name and all advertising.

Shenko reversed his position Monday and supported the name. Reynolds continued his opposition.

"We do have youngsters here," Reynolds said. "We're trying to uplift their thinking."

Thanks to Out There reader Michelle F.

Compiled by's Taylor Timmins.

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