Breaking Up Is Hard to Do ... So Why Don't You Do It for Me?

Breaking up is hard to do, and nobody knows that better than Bernd Dressler.

That's why he set up what he calls a "separation agency" to make the jilting of lovers a more sanitary affair for those who desire a split but can't be bothered to do the dirty work.

Dressler, a German businessman, will dump your significant other for you by phone for 20 euros (about $25) or in person for 50 (about $64), BBC News reports.

"We have had dating agencies for 30 years. If you want to have a new partnership then you have to quit your previous one. I think it's the same market — just in reverse," Dressler said.

Dressler says his breakups come in two models: sincere or direct. All the client needs to do is provide three reasons they want to end the relationship and Dressler will deliver the oft-unwelcome news in the tone of their choosing.

As for the reactions of the jilted, Dressler says he hasn't come across any post-breakup meltdowns — yet.

And besides, he's not the guy to blame, right?

"I am only the messenger," he said.

America, Meet Wei-Ming Kao and His Water Gun of Justice

Bored with the monotony of everyday office life?

So is Wei-Ming Kao.

But while you might attempt to alleviate said ennui with a lively game of solitaire at your desk on the sly, Kao prefers to "stalk" and "kill" total strangers … with a water gun.

Even though Kao is technically a part of a New York City-wide gang war, don't look for the NYPD to come busting down his door any time soon. Kao is merely one of 240 other semi-crazed, squirt gun-wielding individuals participating in "StreetWars" — a mutation of a popular high school and college game called "Assassins" that kicked off Monday across the Big Apple, Reuters reports.

For a paltry $40, participants are given a photograph, a name and work and home addresses of a perfect stranger to hunt down and bust in the face with some watery justice — in this case a water gun, a water balloon or any number of other water-related weaponry will do the trick.

But it isn't just a matter of hunting in this hardcore urban battle — the participant is simultaneously being stalked by another, equally depraved water-gun wielding individual while on their quest to send their mark to his maker.

The last man standing gets $500, a mounted water pistol trophy and a big ole' bottle of Jack Daniels.

"I thought it would be fun, a way to meet new people, even if I die in the first week," said Kao.

"StreetWars" founder Franz Aliquo says he initiated the resurrection of the game mostly out of boredom.

"As a kid we used to get around and play in parks, and use the city as a playground," said Aliquo, a 31-year-old lawyer. "I kind of wanted to make it a place to play in again, particularly as an adult."

As fate would have it, Aliquo wasn't alone in that desire. After it's debut in New York in 2004, like-minded city warriors have played "StreetWars" in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Vancouver, London and Vienna, Austria.

But this game isn't for the faint of heart or those afraid to look like a fool. Players say part of the fun of it is turning their otherwise routine existences into a perpetual "Die Hard" movie for three weeks — no matter what it takes.

"It's interesting how into it people get," said Aliquo, noting a particularly shameless player who spent most of his time on players' rooftops in a ninja costume.

Behold: He of the Itchy eBay Trigger Finger and Questionable Taste in Cars

LONDON (AP) — Three-year-old Jack Neal loves cars: so much so, that while his mother's back was turned he bought a Barbie-pink Nissan Figaro for nearly $16,000 on eBay.

"I had just come off the computer and I thought I had logged off, I came out of eBay," his mother Rachel told the British Broadcasting Corp. on Monday.

"Jack jumped on the chair, (went) straight in, found the page and bought the car." Unable to read, the youngster likely used the "buy it now" option to make the purchase.

The first time the Neals, from Sleaford in eastern England, knew of the sale was when they received an e-mail from auto dealer David Jones, who thought he had made his first Internet sale.

Jones, from Worcestershire in central England, saw the funny side and said he will not hold the Neals to their purchase. The car will be re-listed later.

"I've got a 2 1/2-year-old son myself and I don't think he would be able to do this, although he's bright," he said.

Jack denied all culpability.

Asked if he had made the purchase, he simply squirmed and muttered, "No..."

And Now This From the Creative-Ways-to-Get-to-the-Clink Department:

NEW YORK (New York Post) — A New York man who apparently wanted to become the next "Jackass" is now facing up a year in jail after posting a video on YouTube showing him and some pals posing as cops and randomly searching people on the street.

Gazi Abura, 21, and two other camera-toting pranksters allegedly accosted a 31-year-old man and a 14-year-old boy in July 2005 by donning fake badges and pulling phony "stop-and-frisk"-style police searches. They recorded the encounters and then put the video on the popular YouTube site under the name "Crack DVD . . . The Re-Up//Crack Cops."

"Amigo, you're getting thugged right now," one of the video police fakers told their first victim, Alexis Montoya, 31, after stopping him on a sidewalk and "scanning" his driver's license by putting it into to their car's CD player.

The prank video went up on the Web site in mid-August. One of Trivino's classmates saw it and told him. The teen went to authorities, who later charged Abura with second-degree criminal impersonation, second-degree coercion and second-degree unlawful imprisonment. The charges could get Abura up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

The "Crack Cops" video is only one of several by Abura and his pals on YouTube. The rest feature painful stunts, such as one man being hit by a Taser, similar to the type of videos that made the makers of the "Jackass" famous.

How'd They Catch Him? Musta Been That Thong-Tha-Thong-Thong-Thong

FORT MITCHELL (AP) — A Northern Kentucky man wearing only a thong and carrying a knife allegedly videotaped himself attempting a burglary, then left the tape behind, police said.

That evidence ultimately led to his arrest, Fort Mitchell Police Chief Steve Hensley said.

Rodney McMillen, 36, of Covington was charged over the weekend with first-degree burglary.

"This is a very, very bizarre case, to say the least," Hensley said.

McMillen allegedly broke into a woman's apartment about 3 a.m. on Sept. 20, Hensley said. The woman fended off the attacker, who left the apartment and fled into a stand of trees near the apartment complex, Hensley said.

Investigating officers found a video camera the burglar left in the apartment, Hensley said, and found video of McMillen's family on the end of the tape, Hensley said.

Investigators were able to identify some of the family members and tracked down McMillen at his mother's house in Norwood, Ohio, Hensley said.

McMillen was lodged in the Hamilton County Justice Center in Cincinnati on $50,000 bond, awaiting extradition to Kentucky.

Thanks to Out There reader Paul C.

Note to Self: Scratch That Whole Pancake Jenga Party Idea

CHICAGO (AP) — You can forget the syrup. Chefs at the Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago tried to build a record-setting stack of pancakes Tuesday, but the wiggling, wobbling stack of flapjacks refused to stay put.

Organizers wanted to nab a space in the Guinness Book of World Records, but after nearly an hour of work — and the help of some extra-long toothpicks — the crumbling stack of buttermilk pancakes never made it past 16 inches.

"It's not easy," said John Montanile, the department chair of the school's baking and patisserie department. "It's like stacking Jenga blocks here."

The tallest recorded pancake stack was made in France in 2003 and measured in at 27 1/2 inches tall, said Lynne Fotias, a spokeswoman for Disney on Ice, which co-sponsored the event with the culinary school. That tower used 980 pancakes.

A spokeswoman for the Guinness Book of World Records did not immediately return a call for comment.

Montanile said the school made 400 pancakes for the event, but discovered the breakfast staples' inconsistent width, weight and height made them architecturally unsound.

Compiled by's Taylor Timmins.

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