When in Doubt, Lie Like Crazy

If a cop busts you for hauling tail down the highway, you'd better have a good excuse … or at the very least an entertaining one.

A Swiss driver caught zooming down the road at 100 mph in eastern Ontario, Canada, went for the latter of the two options when he told the cop he was taking advantage of the ability to speed without hitting a goat, Reuters reports.

Police said it was, in fact, the first time they'd ever been given the 'irresistible goat-free motorway' excuse for a case of the lead foot.

"I've never been to Switzerland but obviously they must have a problem with that there," said police spokesman Joel Doiron.

Sadly for the accelerator-happy traveler, cops don't award bonus points for creativity. He was issued a $330 speeding ticket.

Ah, Springtime ... Flowers, Showers and Kamikaze Wildlife

It may be feeling like fall around here, but spring has sprung in the land Down Under … and you know what that means. Flowers blooming, weather warming and evil birds dive-bombing people's heads.

It seems every year at the first sign of spring Australians are treated not to floral dresses and April showers, but to official warnings not to panic about a bunch of insane kamikaze magpies with a hankering to attack the heads of random passersby, the AFP reports.

"There is no need for people to panic, but there is a safety risk and we want people to take care for just a few months of each year while these birds are nesting," government wildlife officer Glenn Sharp said.

And how does one go about heeding the warning of an impending magpie attack?

Some suggest donning an upside-down plastic ice cream bucket with eyes painted on the back. Seriously.

The magpies are large birds that protect their nests from anyone who happens to amble their way by swooping down from behind and bonking their target on the head — but they don't like to be watched.

Since a watched magpie is a dormant one, experienced dodgers of the feathered fiends say keeping one's eyes (real or rendered) on the sneaky bird will prevent a surprise attack — and the inevitable laughter of onlookers.

I Thought Regular Baseball Games Were Long and Boring

ALLIANCE, Neb. (AP) — Talk about extra innings. A baseball game that began at 10 a.m. on Saturday in Alliance ended Sunday at 4:05 p.m.

That's 30 hours and five minutes between the first pitch and the final out. Game organizers are counting on the contest being long enough to break a world record.

Forty players, ranging in age from 18 to 44, rotated in and out of the 84-inning game in hopes of setting a new Guinness World Record for the longest baseball game.

The record stands at 25 hours, set in Canada nearly three years ago.

Alliance organizers tried for a record last year, but their 24-hour, 16-minute game fell short of the record by 44 minutes.Far from a pitcher's duel, this year's game was won by the Alliance Times-Herald Dragons, which beat the WESTCO Knights, by a score of 120 to 114.

Ommmm .... Ommmm ... Ommmm ... Oops!

MALBIS, Ala. (AP) — A weekend fire that damaged a 78-year-old mansion was possibly started from candles used by people who were trying to communicate with the dead, officials said.

Baldwin County Sheriff's Office spokesman Lt. John Murphy said graffiti was found in the attic of the Tampary Mansion along with partly burned candles that indicated a seance had occurred.

The Alabama Fire Marshal's office and the sheriff's department are investigating the fire, which was first reported around midnight Saturday. It burned several hours Sunday morning before being brought under control by Daphne and Spanish Fort area firefighters, Murphy said.

The mansion is located near the intersection of Alabama 181 and U.S. 90. and has been unoccupied since its owner, Alexandra Tampary, died about two years ago.

Murphy said someone who claimed to have studied the occult recently contacted the Tampary family, saying they knew the mansion was frequented by people who went there to attempt to commune with a purported "ghost of Malbis."

Looters have stolen paintings, light fixtures and other antiques worth thousands of dollars from the vacant home.

"People have even gone in and tried to steal the wallpaper from the house," Murphy told the Press-Register in a story for Wednesday's editions.

Murphy said the fire apparently had a manmade origin. "There was no electricity in the residence, and no lightning had occurred in the area around that time," he said.

Tony Tampary, the grandson of the home's original inhabitants, said his family had not been able to maintain the mansion since his grandmother died.

He said the mansion was under contract to be sold to someone who planned to restore it into a tourist attraction or a bed-and-breakfast.

"We don't know how this is going to affect those plans. It will probably make it that much more difficult to sell," he said.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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