No Sculpture Is Safe From the 'Porn Hunter'

Watch out, Wolfgang Amadeus! The“porn hunter” has found you.

Martin Humer, an 80-year-old former photographer who has gained notoriety in Austria for his unfettered devotion to eliminating smut of all sorts, is facing vandalism charges for tinkering with a sculpture of Mozart in the buff, The Associated Press reports.

Seems he and his 79-year-old sidekick painted "Homage to Mozart" with red and green enamel and covered it with fluffy white feathers, according to the prosecutor's office in Mozart's hometown of Salzburg.

“[The sculpture] has nothing to do with art and is a kind of pornography,” Humer told reporters.

Prosecutors estimate the "porn hunter" and his accomplice painted and feathered about $8,125 in damages to the work of art. A court date wasn’t immediately set.

Welcome to Poop Park!

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — The area around Lake Eola has it all — a sparkling fountain, waterside cafe, swan boat rides and a bevy of bird droppings.

The foul-smelling white film cakes lampposts, covers sidewalks and park benches and stains the bushes and trees around a 100-foot stretch of the lake. Drivers who dare park their cars do so at their own risk. Within minutes, a car can turn from black to spotted along "bird poop alley," as residents call it.

The problem, triggered when some trees thousands of cormorants used were removed from an island, has gotten so bad city officials posted four signs last week to warn passers-by. But the signs, which read "Caution — Entering Bird Dropping Area," don't really do the situation justice.

Cormorants, which dive into the water to catch fish and migrate south annually, are such prolific poopers that their South American cousins helped create Peru's guano islands.

Angie Martinez parked her red Honda Civic under a tree for 20 minutes Tuesday when it was hit by the poop storm.

"I went straight to get my car cleaned," she said. "I think it was kind of funny. As soon as a turned away, I saw my car bombed from the birds."

Indira Sawh and her co-workers have a bird's eye view of the problem. They work in an office building across the street and often watch people get dirtied.

"The other day we saw four guys in suits going to lunch and the guy's entire suit got covered in bird poop," Sawh said. "The smell is the worst part of it all."

In an attempt to wash the white waste, the city has the sidewalks and street pressure cleaned twice a week, said Orlando Rolon, a spokesman for Mayor Buddy Dyer. But Sawh said that's hopeless.

"We're wasting taxpayer dollars," she said.

The city tried to remove the trees, but learned that the birds' nests were protected under federal law, Rolon said.

If He'd Had a Few More, He Might Have Seen Two

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) — A tipsy tourist couldn't spot Ayers Rock despite parking only 100 yards away with his headlights pointing at the landmark, police said.

A 44-year-old Australian man flagged down a car late Tuesday night thinking it was carrying park rangers and asked directions to the giant red monolith jutting out of an Outback plain.

Unfortunately for the hapless tourist, the car was carrying police.

"Nonetheless, the tourist told police he and his female companion wanted directions to the rock," Northern Territory Police said in a statement. "The police officer breathalyzed the driver after pointing out his headlights were shining right at it."

The man was found to be driving with excess alcohol in his blood and without a license. He was ordered to appear in court on May 18.

Thanks to Out There reader Alex K.

Note to Self: Angry Snake Scarf + Car = Bad Idea

NAPLES, Fla. (AP) — A man crashed his car after a pet snake he had wrapped around his neck began attacking him, authorities said.

Witnesses reported that Courtland Page Johnson, 30, was driving erratically and crashed his PT Cruiser into several barricades about 9 p.m. Tuesday. He got out of his car, wrestled with the snake and then drove off, reports said.

When authorities caught up with Johnson at his home, he told them he crashed into another car that had stopped short in front of him. After questioning, Johnson admitted he panicked when his snake bit him.

He had cuts and freshly dried blood on his body, but did not need medical attention, reports said.

Johnson was charged with leaving the scene of a crash.

Thanks to Out There reader Jim D.

All in All He's Just Another Kitty in the Wall

COLLIERVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — A cat stuck in a wall at a house under construction initiated his rescue when he caught the attention of a prospective buyer by meowing and waving his paw out a small hole.

The cat had gotten stuck behind the wall but found a gap between a gas pipe and the wall board where he could stick out his paw. He was spotted Saturday by someone touring the house.

Collierville Animal Services supervisor Nina Wingfield said she heard a "hoarse meow" after she arrived at the house.

"When he knew we were there, it was a very hoarse, frantic meow," she said.

Wingfield freed the feline by cutting away the wall board with a knife.

"He had his paw out touching — not clawing — the whole time, like he was saying 'Come on! Come on,'" Wingfield said.

She thinks the cat, who had been stuck without food long enough for his ribs to be showing, is a lost pet. The owners have until Friday to come forward and claim him before he will be offered for adoption to someone else.

In the meantime, the animal shelter is calling him by a new name: Wally.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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