Welcome to the Red Hot Bathroom of Love

Get ready, folks, because the fire extinguisher to your incessant inferno of yearning for pricey designer paper products which have no purpose other than to be flushed down a commode — but look fabulous with your new shower curtain — is on its way.

In a few months, powder room patrons across America will be … um … flushed with envy over your toilet paper — your inexplicably RED toilet paper.

After successfully launching a line of black paper last year, our Portuguese friends from across the pond introduced a stylish new line of red toilet tissue for those wanting a more passionate bathroom experience, the Agence France-Presse reports.

"It is a red that makes a huge impact, like a Ferrari," Jose Manuel Pinheiro, international brand manager for Renova, the company producing the new product, told AFP. "We are trying to create a niche market for value-added household products in nations with a high purchasing power."

A company statement offered this explanation for the curious color choice: “(Red) is the color of our hearts, of passion, lust, fury, laughter, anger, love, fire.”

But the trendy tissue is probably not the best bet for those who are strapped for cash. When the paper finally hits American shelves, Renova will charge $2.98 per roll.

Maybe This Is Why Dad Won't Ever Ask for Directions

SMITHFIELD, Ohio (AP) — A man accused of stealing a car was arrested after stopping to ask for directions at the car owner's father's house, authorities said.

Michael Chapman, 54, is accused of stealing a car Wednesday morning in Hopedale, about 130 miles east of Columbus near the West Virginia state line.

Chapman drove east for three miles, then pulled off state Route 151 needing directions to a nearby town. He stopped randomly at the home of Thomas Eltringham.

Eltringham, 67, gave the directions, but when Chapman drove off, Eltringham called his daughter, fearing that the gold 2001 Buick LeSabre might have been hers, said Capt. R.J. Myers of the Harrison County Sheriff's Office.

Norma Harris told her father that she had started the car, left it running so it could warm up and went back into her house, Myers said.

A patrol officer spotted the car about 25 miles away near Smithfield and chased it. The driver pulled into a driveway, got out and ran away, authorities said. Chapman was found hiding behind an auto sales office and arrested.

Chapman, was being held Thursday at the Jefferson County Justice Center on charges of car theft, drunken driving and driving without a license.

Chapman was released from prison in June after serving time for a 1992 burglary, according to the Steubenville Police Department.

Mmmm ... Discarded Cookies

ANTIOCH, Calif. (AP) — A man who was evicted from the house he rented for years allegedly took revenge on his landlords by dumping the home's hoarded contents — five-gallon buckets of cookies, canned food, old batteries and puzzle pieces — on the front lawn and in the backyard.

The homeowner, Ann Stevenson, said she rented the house to Lloyd Annesley and his partner, Margaret McCoy, with a subsidized rent as a favor to the longtime family friends.

After McCoy died, Annesley learned he would have to move and his relatives helped him dump the debris before they abandoned the property last week, according to neighbors and city officials.

"They totally took advantage of us," Stevenson said. "They were storing like they wanted to fill a bunker for a nuclear disaster."

Stevenson said she spent $4,000 to clean up the mess, which was infested with flies and mealworms after a weekend of rain. Besides spoiled candy and food, the litter included handcuffs and Scrabble pieces.

"I wore three pairs of gloves out here. Surgical gloves, rubber gloves and then work gloves," said Anthony Weijnschenk, whom Stevenson hired to clean up the yard. "This guy had everything. And if he had one of it, he had a dozen."

A Lost Fan Letter Gets the Royal Treatment

MANASSAS, Va. (AP) — A Russian college student's fan letter is finally on its way to Prince William of England after a detour through Prince William County, Va.

The letter, addressed to "William," arrived at the county courthouse this week and the staff there has been trying to get it to its intended royal recipient.

It's from a woman named Augustina in the small Russian city of Kemerova. She asks William about popular horses in England and about his favorite books, movies and music.

Officials in the court clerk's office tell The Washington Post they mailed the letter to London after receiving much advice from the public on where it should go. They also mailed a letter to Augustina to tell her about the stir her letter created in the United States.

Thanks to Out There readers Rolfe and Peggy S.

This Gives a Whole New Meaning to the Term 'Road Hog'

MILWAUKEE (AP) — Motorists headed north out of Milwaukee on Interstate 43 this evening ran into a pig problem ... because a load of more than 400 pounds of pig intestines had fallen on the freeway.

The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department said the trucker was heading from Mount Morris, Illinois to Green Bay when a tarp over the load apparently came loose and the pig entrails fell out.

The driver didn't realize the problem until authorities caught up with him nearly an hour later.

A hazardous materials team was called in to help clean up the mess, which kept two traffic lanes closed for nearly four hours. A salt and oil drying combination was used for the job.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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