My new dead doggy handbag is, like, totally hot.

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton's fondness for lugging her pets around like disposable accessories has inspired a Wisconsin designer to roll out The Tinkerbell — a black leather handbag shaped like a dead, upside-down Chihuahua, according The New York Post's Page Six.

After Page Six reported last year that Paris had dumped the famed Tinkerbell off on her mother when the pocket pooch got too large, then purchased a teensier Chihuahua named Bambi, Sundae Best accessories' James Piatt dreamed up the dead doggy bag.

"It's a pity that Paris' heart doesn't match her pocketbook. Animals shouldn't be disposed of like last season's trendy handbag," People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals chastised after the swap.

"I thought about what PETA said," Piatt told The Post's Bill Hoffmann. "Then I noticed how everybody imitated Paris out on the street — dozens of people carrying around little cats and dogs like accessories. It seems like the oddest trend."

But Hiatt told The Post he's not a Hilton-hater — or an animal activist.

The dead doggy bag designer told the paper he'd be proud to see the handbag, selling for $175 through his Web site jamespiatt.com, on the blond heiress' arm.

"I would love to give her one — that would be the best thing," he said.

Spokesmen for Paris, recently spotted with another new pet — a fuzzy kinkajou — did not comment to The Post.

— Click in the photo box above to see a pic of the ditched dog Tinkerbell.

— Click in the video box above or click here to watch a video on the dead doggy bag as part of Bill McCuddy's Foxlight.

The Right to Free Speech, and Barking?

A bizarre suit in El Paso, Texas, over a barking dog could have an even more bizarre defense — the First Amendment, according to the El Paso Times.

A West El Paso man sued his neighbors for $125,000, claiming their dog barks constantly.

While the canine's owners deny the accusations, their lawyer says even if the pooch was barking, it has a constitutional right to run off at the yapper.

"I can assure you we are going to fight this case to the death. Take it all the way to the [U.S.] Supreme Court if necessary. I can honestly state that if the dog did bark at all, the dog was simply exercising his first amendment right to freedom of speech," Monty Stevens, lawyer for defendants Eduardo and Guadalupe Alvarado, told the Times.

Stevens later gave an interview to a local radio station saying his quote to the newspaper was meant to be tongue-in-cheek and he felt it was taken a tad out of context.

According to court documents, plaintiff Luis Hernandez sued the Alvarados for what he called diminished property value, the inability to enjoy his home and mental anguish — all caused by the dog's inability to quit yapping.

The Alvarados asked Judge Javier Alvarez of County Court-at-Law No. 3 to deny Hernandez any monetary relief.

— Thanks to Out There reader Shannon F.

Whatever Have You Done With Mary Poppins?

EAU CLAIRE, Wis. (AP) — A basement remodeling project left Jany Chumas with one unsettling question after the drywalling was all done — where's the cat?

Mary Poppins, Chumas' pet cat, was nowhere to be found after the workers installed drywall in a room Jan. 2.

Chumas said the cat is "the sweetest little thing but quite shy," so she assumed at first that she had run away.

As more time passed, she suspected the 7-pound cat could be trapped, and she and her daughter headed for the basement to search.

"I called her — 'Here, kitty, kitty' — and I could hear this faint, weak meow coming from behind the walls where they had just drywalled," Chumas said Tuesday.

She called the Eau Claire Fire Department on Friday and a crew went to the home — about five days after the remodeling work.

First they cut a small hole in the drywall near where Chumas heard the cat's cries, but they found only insulation. Later they cut into the ceiling and Chumas called into the hole.

Soon a weak, hungry, tired and dusty Mary Poppins "came tumbling out of the ceiling," Chumas said.

Some food and water put Mary Poppins on the road to recovery.

— Click in the photo box above to see a pic of the drywall kitty.

Wait, Is This Driver Drunk, or Just 7?

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Eager to get his driver's license, a 7-year-old boy put on his seat belt and remembered to use his turn signal as he took his parent's pickup truck out for a spin, leading police on a slow pursuit around town.

Officers initially thought they were chasing a drunk driver.

"He was weaving and all over the road. He couldn't stay in his lane," Officer Josh Laverette said.

What they found instead Monday evening was a barely 4-foot-tall second-grader.

"He was so short he had to sit up close to the steering wheel," Laverette said. "Whenever he would brake, he would pick himself up with his left foot and stomp on the brake with his right."

The boy, whose name was not released, narrowly avoided several collisions. "It could have been very serious," Laverette told WSMV-TV as he reviewed a videotape shot from one of the pursuing police cars.

The seven-mile chase ended when the boy drove home and parked.

"He said the reason he took the vehicle was because he wanted to get his license," Laverette said.

Nine years too early for the license test, the boy was charged with driving without a license, eluding police and leaving the scene of an accident. He faces a hearing later this week in juvenile court.

Witness Susan Daniel described the scene: "There were like probably five city cars and three county cars and a state trooper" all chasing the pickup, she said.

"It blew my mind because we actually watched him put on his turn signal and turn, and we could see when he went past that he had seat belts on," Daniel said. "Then to come find out it was a child, I was really shocked."

— Thanks to Out There readers Laura C. and Susan S.

Don't Go Slipping Me That Forked Tongue!

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — A kiss is just a kiss, but it may prove to be the kiss of death for a Malaysian snake charmer who will attempt to set a new world record by planting 50 smooches on a venomous snake in 10 minutes.

Shahimi Abdul Hamid, 33, will perform the dangerous feat on March 11 in a bid to break the current record held by an American man who kissed a poisonous snake 30 times in an unspecified time, the national news agency Bernama said Thursday.

Shahini has urged Malaysians to support him in his endeavor, saying he "wants to prove that Asians can also be champions in taming poisonous snakes."

He could not be reached for comments.

Bernama said Shahimi displayed his prowess at a news conference late Wednesday by kissing a three-meter long King Cobra 21 times. His bid in March will be filmed by U.S. television show "Ripley's Believe It Or Not," Bernama said.

And Who but My Lady Greensleeves?

SHIRLEY, N.Y. (AP) — Police say one New York man had more than his arm up his sleeve.

John Howard, 36, was arrested after police found more than $10,000 in cash in his sleeve, money allegedly stolen from a Long Island post office, authorities said Wednesday.

Howard was stopped by police on Tuesday after he was observed behaving strangely on a street in Shirley, said Suffolk County Police Detective Lt. James Maher. Howard was wet and dirty and had a large bulge protruding from his left sleeve, he said.

In addition to finding $10,203 in cash — ranging from $1 to $100 bills — wrapped in a towel up his sleeve, Maher said police found crack cocaine and a BB gun that resembled a real firearm on Howard's body.

Howard allegedly robbed the Wyandanch post office of more than $12,000 on Monday, Maher said. He was charged with two counts of first-degree robbery and one count of criminal possession of a controlled substance.

Following an investigation, Howard also was charged in connection with two earlier armed robberies, said Lt. Gerard Gigante.

And Baby Makes Four

PHOENIX (AP) — Fetuses do not count as passengers when it comes to determining who may drive in the carpool lane, a judge ruled.

Candace Dickinson was fined $367 for improper use of a carpool lane, but contended the fetus inside her womb allowed her to use the lane. Motorists who use the lanes normally must carry at least one passenger during weekday rush hours.

Municipal Judge Dennis Freeman rejected Dickinson's argument Tuesday, applying a "common sense" definition in which an individual is someone who occupies a "separate and distinct" space in a vehicle.

"The law is meant to fill empty space in a vehicle," the judge said.

Sgt. Dave Norton stopped Dickinson's car Nov. 8. When asked how many people were in the car, Dickinson said two, pointing to "her obvious pregnancy," the officer said.

Norton said Dickinson's theory "would require officers to carry guns, radios and pregnancy testers, and I don't think we want to go there."

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Andrew Hard.

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