Since many women have since said I was deliberately excluding them with my shopping tips for men, fair and balanced, today, let's just call them "shopping advice" for women.
Tip 1: Don't buy us sweaters... ever.
Tip 2: Don't buy "themed" sweaters. If you really must buy us sweaters, don't buy us sweaters with animals on them, or country scenes. They just make us look stupid, which maybe is your intention in the first place. That's just displaced anger, anyway, and that's a whole other issue!
Tip 3: Don't buy themed gifts of any sort. You might think them cute. We don't. If you're buying us something for a trip you're planning, extending the agony by having us open the "components" of a ski outfit doesn't make us wonder whether we're going on a ski trip... it just makes us angry you didn't say it up front. Themes might work for restaurants and kid parties, but I think that's just about it.
Tip 4: Don't pass up food! Don't assume we don't like Hickory Farms products. There's a lot to be said of anything edible.
Tip 5: Don't pass up gadgets! Don't pass up electronic items, simply because you hate them, doesn't mean we do.
In fact, ladies, that's a good rule of thumb for you. Whatever you hate, there's a very good chance we like. Food, gadgets, toys. You might think you're buying for children, I'm here to tell you: you are.
So put down what you think is a cute weekend outfit for us, back away from the register and check out the mall cart dude with the cheese and pepperoni gift sets.
Now we're talking!
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