GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

That's how I felt riding the elevator this morning with an Oblivion coffee slurper, some guy whose coffee was obviously too hot to drink normally.

So instead of waiting for the darn cup to cool off, he took baby slurps. Slurrrrrrrp ... slurrrrrrrp. Oh, the sound of that slurping made me want to reach out and grab that cup of coffee and pour it over his head.

Don't you just hate the sound of people and their food?

I'm no Mr. Manners, that's for sure, but I do not eat, drink or chew gum with my mouth open, smacking my lips and gums to the tune of "Clementine." What ever happened to basic table manners anyway?

It's not like we can blame Bart Simpson for the lack of table etiquette. Can't blame MTV. Can't even blame Paris Hilton, and when you can't blame Paris Hilton for something that makes you go Grrrr!, then you know we've got a real issue to deal with.

So what is it about loud eaters? Did their parents never explain proper eating etiquette to them because they themselves were Oblivions in their child rearing? Perhaps the loud eater is an only child whose parents never, ever disciplined them for anything.

But what about the loud eaters' adult spouses or significant others? Are they that insecure that they can't point out to the offending eater just how disgusting their eating habits are? "Wouldn't want to offend my honey."

Puhleez!

Oblivions need to curb their mouths. That goes for popcorn at the movies (a major Grrr!), gum chewing and general meals. It's really not that hard, unless you have rotten teeth. Then you're forgiven.

Shameless Plug

A buddy of mine who works in television is an aspiring musician. His band, Motel Creeps, is playing Maxwells in Hoboken, N.J., on Friday night.

If you're in the New York area this weekend, check them out live, otherwise check them out on the Web.

Meryl Streep

How cool would it be to see Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep at a Manhattan Irish bar eating lunch solo? Being star-struck is a major Grrr!, but there are some stars who are worth the struckness, and Streep is one of them.

I saw Streep at Rosie O'Grady's in New York City, where she's shooting "The Devil Wears Prada," based on the book of the same name which skewers a high-powered editor for her abusive behavior toward her subordinates.

Streep is playing the editrix. It's long been rumored that Amanda Priestly, the editor-from-hell character in the book by "Everyone Worth Knowing" author Lauren Weisberger, who was an assistant at Vogue, modeled Priestly after Vogue Editor in Chief Anna Wintour.

Of course, though there may be some elements of truth here, Weisberger undoubtedly took poetic license to the tenth degree, although Wintour does get her fair share of bad press.

At any rate, Streep will be terrific in the movie, like she is in everything.

Hey Meryl, look me up next time you're in the mood for a burger and a brew at Rosie's.

Speaking of star-struck, check out "The Real Deal" this week. Lots o' stars.

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VIDEO: Watch Mike on "The Real Deal" webcast.