They're just friends now ... but they'd like to be "friends with benefits."

According to the Ottawa Sun, Bill Dalrymple (search), 56, and best friend Bryan Pinn (search), 65, have decided to get married. Never mind that they're straight.

"I think it's a hoot," Pinn told Sun Media.

The two men say they're both looking for the right woman, but for now they see advantages to being a legally married couple.

"There are significant tax implications that we don't think the government has thought through," Pinn told Sun Media.

Toronto lawyer Bruce Walker, a gay and lesbian rights activist, said he wasn't insulted by the planned marriage between the straight guys.

"If someone wants to do something foolish, let them do it," he said.

'Three Stooges' Action Lands Boy in Court

GOLD HILL, Ore. (AP) — A 15-year-old boy who pinched and twisted the nipples of a 13-year-old has been sentenced to three days of community service for harassment.

David Thumler, 15, said the "titty-twister" was just horseplay. The mother of 13-year-old Matthew Cox counters that the incident was humiliating for her son, who saw it as an assault from an older, bigger bully.

"They're not friends," she said. "If he was my son's friend, it would be a different thing," said Bobby Cox.

In addition to the community service, Thumler has been ordered to pay a $67 fine and the misdemeanor has been placed on his permanent record. He can request to have it removed when he turns 18.

Ken Chapman, a Jackson County juvenile probation supervisor, said Oregon law defines physical harassment as "offensive physical touching."

That includes such adolescent antics as "wet-willies," "wedgies," "swirlies," "noogies" and all other forms of "Three Stooges" behavior, Chapman said.

According to David, the two boys were in line at a local deli when Matthew jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David. In retaliation, David counterattacked with the "titty-twister," the 15-year-old said.

"It's a thing of camaraderie," David said. "If he's going to assume our friendship is on that level, then so am I."

A lawyer hired by the 15-year-old's family called the juvenile court's actions "Orwellian."

"They call this 'baby assault,'" said Michael Kellington, a criminal defense attorney in Medford, hired by the family.

Even Bobby Cox said she was surprised to hear that her husbands' call to Gold Hill police resulted in court time for the boy. "Nobody informed me it would be a full-blown trial," she said.

'Erotic Show' Planned for N.Y. Fundraiser

NEW YORK (AP) — With his campaign for city council going nowhere fast, Victor Bernace felt he needed something special to spark interest in his next fundraiser. How about exotic dancers?

The New York Democrat said Saturday he plans to have bikini-clad go-go dancers and men in nothing but briefs at a "Havana Night" campaign party next month at a Manhattan nightclub.

There will be no nudity at the $20-per-head event, Bernace said, but he promised "a sexy, erotic show."

"I'm throwing a fun event. Most politicians — I've been to their fundraisers, and they are boring," he said. "People can go with a standard politician who will disappear into the woodwork. I'm trying to be part of the next generation."

Bernace, a Harvard-trained lawyer who makes a living representing cab drivers, is trying for the third time to unseat an incumbent in a working-class district in northern Manhattan.

Asked if he thought a risque event might offend some voters, Bernace said he wasn't concerned and suggested the event might help get young men interested in politics.

"I'm not running for mayor in a small, old-time religious town in Utah. I'm running in New York City," he said. "I might as well try to energize a different base."

Au Naturel Swimmer Shocks California Diners

SAUSALITO, Calif. (AP) — A man swimming in the buff along the shoreline is causing a stir along San Francisco Bay, where tourists stroll along the waterfront and dine in restaurants.

The skinny-dipper has shocked diners and prompted complaints to police.

"He makes fly-bys," City Manager Dana Whitson said. "Usually, people look for seals. Some of the diners are kind of surprised."

Sausalito police Detective William Fraass said the department has received at least two reports in the past three weeks of a man swimming au naturel in the afternoon near the Spinnaker restaurant and Schoonmaker Point Marina.

"It is a rarity. It is just another call for service but it made our eyebrows go up when we heard the call over the radio," Fraass said. "We don't get many naked-people-swimming-in-the-bay calls."

Police have unsuccessfully tried to catch the swimmer bare-bottomed.

"We are still looking because we want to talk to him and see what is going on," Fraass said. "We want to inform him of the calls from the public and get his side of the story. Right now, no laws have been broken, but we are still investigating."

Woman Eats 35 Bratwursts in 10 Minutes

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) — Sonya Thomas gobbled her way to another speed-eating title over the weekend by attacking a Wisconsin staple — the bratwurst.

The 99-pound woman known as The Black Widow on the competitive-eating circuit downed 35 brats in 10 minutes to win the first Johnsonville Brat-Eating World Championship. She edged out her nearest competitor by half a brat.

"I don't know where she puts it," spectator Sue Van De Kreeke said. "I got sick watching her."

The previous bratwurst-eating record was 19 1/2 brats in 10 minutes.

Thomas, a Burger King manager from Alexandria, Va., is ranked second by the International Federation of Competitive Eating, which sanctioned Saturday's contest during Brat Days. Her various eating records include ones for hard-boiled eggs (65 in 6 minutes 40 seconds) and chicken wings (167 in 32 minutes).

The day before the bratwurst-eating contest, she won a grilled-cheese-sandwich eating contest in San Diego, eating 22.

Cheerleaders Use Chant to Help Police

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP) — A man who left an accident scene was tracked down with the help of some cheerleaders who witnessed the crash and turned his license plate number into a cheer, police said.

Members of the Lincoln High School varsity cheerleading squad from neighboring Ypsilanti were in Ann Arbor for a Universal Cheerleaders Association's camp when they saw the wreck near the University of Michigan campus.

"I knew I was going to not remember it because there was too much going on," coach Patricia Clark said Monday on NBC's "Today." "So, when I ran down the street and got the plate number, I yelled to the girls: 'Remember this!'"

The cheerleaders put their skills to work, chanting the license number.

"The coach just said it and we were saying it over and over, and then it just turned into a big chant since we kept repeating it," said Kimmie Ostrowski, a senior captain for the team.

According to police reports, a truck hit a car stopped at a traffic light Wednesday, and the impact forced that car into another vehicle, which then hit another one.

The truck driver, found at his home, told officers he didn't think the damage was severe enough to stop, police Lt. Mike Logghe told The Ann Arbor News.

The man wasn't arrested and his name wasn't released, but police said he could face a misdemeanor charge of leaving the scene of an accident.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Jennifer D'Angelo.

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