Heaven Helps a Fool

Some people just can't drive and talk on the phone at the same time.

Justin Mitchell Oaks, 21, was yakking behind the wheel of his Toyota Corolla on Interstate 10 in Tucson, Ariz., Monday morning when he drifted into a neighboring lane, the Arizona Daily Star reported.

Unfortunately for him, and his wife in the passenger seat, there was already a tractor-trailer truck there.

Miraculously, the Corolla was able to fit snugly beneath the truck's trailer, spinning around sideways so that it became wedged upright between the trailer's body and its rear wheels.

The truck pushed the car, with Oaks and his wife trapped inside, 800 feet down the freeway, its rear wheels grinding against the Corolla's passenger-side doors.

"They were lucky they didn't get squashed," said Arizona Department of Public Safety (search) Officer Jim Oien.

Often, Oien explained, truck trailers' wheels will roll right over cars in that position, killing the occupants.

But in this case, no one was hurt, and the car might even be salvageable.

Oaks didn't get off scot-free; he was arrested on charges of driving with a suspended license and possessing drug paraphernalia after police found a pipe in the car. He also got a speeding ticket.

— Thanks to Out There reader Dave M.

Would-Be Thief Locks Self in Car Trunk

FRESNO, Calif. (AP) — Getting locked in a car trunk is bad enough, but locking yourself in the trunk of the car you're trying to steal is worse.

A security guard at an apartment complex in southeast Fresno followed a trail of blood to a banging noise coming from the trunk in the early morning hours Sunday.

Authorities responding to the scene expected to find a victim but instead discovered a burglar.

"Genius, pure genius," said Fresno County Sheriff's Lt. Louis Hernandez.

Police said he cut himself on the door of another car he'd broken into, then trickled blood across the parking lot to the car he eventually locked himself inside.

The man initially told authorities he had been hit on the head and stuffed in the trunk, but police found items stolen from another vehicle inside the trunk with the suspect.

"He popped the trunk from the inside and crawled back there, ransacking every inch," Hernandez said. "But then he grabs the trunk to heave himself out and closes it on top of him. He's got to be the dumbest criminal of the day."

The man was taken to University Medical Center to be treated for cuts, then to the Fresno County Jail (search) to be booked on two counts of theft.

Police did not identify the suspect.

— Thanks to Out There readers Greg M. and Kirk R.

Not Thinking Clearly, Part I

DULUTH, Minn. (AP) — A nervous driver was arrested on marijuana charges after he grabbed the wrong backpack as he got out of his car and ran away from a state trooper.

Police say 18-year-old Jonathan Smith had four 1-pound bags of marijuana in a backpack in his car. Smith told police he thought an officer was coming up behind him while he was driving, so he tried to get away.

According to the complaint, the car following Smith wasn't a police car, but when he sped up, a state trooper clocked his speed at 77 miles an hour.

Authorities say Smith tried to get away from the trooper by getting out of his car and running, grabbing a backpack that he thought contained the marijuana. But the backpack he took contained schoolbooks and the trooper found the pot in Smith's car.

Soon after, Smith turned himself in. He is charged with marijuana possession and fleeing a police officer.

— Thanks to Out There reader Eric A.

Man Gets Lost, Drives Onto Airport Runway

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Air traffic at Des Moines International Airport (search) was temporarily halted when a disoriented 70-year-old man drove in through an exit gate and led security on a chase onto an active taxiway.

Duane Edwards Sheets drove through an open gate at the adjacent Iowa Air National Guard base Tuesday, nearly striking a guard who tried to stop him, said Col. Greg Schwab, commander of the 132nd Air Fighter Wing (search).

Airport security and police took over the chase after Sheets crossed onto airport property, where he drove along service roads, hit a fence and was chased onto an active taxiway, officials said.

"They kept him off the main runway, but he was on the taxiway. That was probably the most dangerous part of it," Des Moines Police Capt. Richard Singleton said.

No planes were allowed to take off or land for about 15 minutes, airport spokesman Roy Criss said.

Sheets told authorities he was looking for a friend, who police said may have been dead for several years.

Sheets faces state charges of criminal trespassing, aggravated assault and resisting officers. Federal authorities also planned to file charges, Singleton said.

Not Thinking Clearly, Part ll

STATESBORO, Ga. (AP) — Sgt. Jason Kearney sat in his marked patrol car last Thursday, waiting for his colleagues to join him for lunch when Ron Stone asked him for a ride.

The Bulloch County (search) deputy agreed to take Stone to his car, but first he insisted on searching Stone for weapons, Sheriff Lynn Anderson said.

"Stone told Sergeant Kearney to go ahead," Anderson said.

But instead of packing a pistol, the 30-year-old Stone was packing pot — two small bags, Anderson said.

Stone told the uniformed officer he had spent the night at a friend's house and the marijuana was not his, police said.

Instead of a ride to his car, Stone got a ride to the Bulloch County Jail, where police later learned he was wanted in another county on an outstanding warrant for marijuana possession with intent to distribute.

Firefighters Fight Fire on Fire Truck

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) — Providence firefighters spent part of last Tuesday morning trying to subdue a stubborn blaze — in their own fire truck.

Engine 11 was completely burned after a fire started in the engine compartment while the truck was driving in Roger Williams Park (search).

The engine's crew tried fruitlessly to fight the flames with fire extinguishers. They had to call in another truck to put out the fire.

"This is unusual," Capt. Peter Celini told WPRO-AM. "I've been here a long time, and I've never seen a fire truck fully involved like that."

One firefighter twisted his ankle and was taken to a hospital, but no other injuries were reported.

There was no word Tuesday from the fire department on a possible cause.

Compiled by FOX News' Paul Wagenseil.

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