Bush Pulls Inaugural Punches

You've heard all the experts talk about George W. Bush's inaugural address...

Now a couple of my observations about the speech — items that I thought were hilarious.

Granted, inaugural addresses are not generally thigh slappers, bend-over-double-funny... but excuse me for laughing out loud once or twice.

Early in his speech, the president said the following:

"Our duties are defined not by the words I use... but by the history we have seen together."

That line was so exquisitely rich. Think about all of the people who have been whining about how Bush said this or that unpresidential thing. Think of the Democrats' complaints that Bush been unnecessarily flip or too Texas or all too cowboyish — focusing on a few words instead of recognizing the overall message.

What Bush was saying Thursday was never mind my words... pay attention to the history we have seen. We have seen our country attacked by people who hate us. So keep your eye on the ball, you twits. It's not about an offhand remark like, "Bring 'em on." And it really isn't.

The second thing that made me laugh was aimed at our very good friends — the French;

"All the allies of the United States can know: we honor your friendship, we rely on your counsel and we depend on your help."

Fine so far... but it gets better. He continued:

"Division among free nations is a primary goal of freedom's enemies."

In other words, the terrorists love it that you have decided to cross rhetorical swords with the U.S. You're actually acting against your own interests, and against the interests of the people who need our help to gain their freedom.

What's so hard about that anyway? Why do our friends want Iraqis to live under the tyranny of Saddam Hussein? Why do they want so much to oppose the U.S.?

Oh, they hate hearing this stuff from Bush.

Maybe they should just read the speech, and put out of mind who actually spoke the words. Perhaps then they would come to their senses.

That's My Word.

Watch John Gibson weekdays at 5 p.m. ET on "The Big Story" and send your comments to: myword@foxnews.com