Euros Favor Kerry for President

John Kerry (search) has said it outloud... he is the favorite candidate of Europeans.

The Democratic presidential candidate says that several nameless Euro leaders have told him confidentially, "You gotta win this thing. We gotta get Bush out."

That ought to help him with American voters. They've shown quite an interest in the fact that Europeans think they can pick a better president than they can themselves, don't you think?

The Euros have gone even farther. The leftist, anti-Bush newspaper "The Guardian" is already picking a cabinet for President Kerry.

So here's who the Euros think Kerry should be tapping to help him run the U.S.

First of all, they pick New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (search) for vice president. (Bill's probably on the phone to London right now telling them to shut up.)

They also pick Gary Hart (search) as secretary of state. They think he's really smart.

They think Richard Holbrooke (search) wants the job very badly, but that he's too smart for his own good and should run a newspaper instead.

Sen. Olympic Snowe (search) would be the Euros' choice for secretary of the treasury.

They would replace Donald Rumsfeld (search) at the Pentagon with Lt. Gen. Claudia Kennedy (search) — already on board as a Kerry advisor. How nice. A Martha Stewart military.

Attorney General John Edwards (search). He's already a lawyer, and according to the Euros — he'd be perfect to move up to the Supreme Court... only to be replaced by John Conyers (search), the congressman from Michigan.

"The Guardian" couldn't help us with that recent war, but they'll be happy to help us pick a president, since we're so unqualified to do it ourselves.

That's My Word.

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