Guaranteed to Perk You Up

Like female nudity with your coffee? Head to the central Maine town of Madison.

The town's planning board on Thursday took up Normand St. Michel's application to open a topless coffee shop on Main Street, reports the Kennebec Journal of Augusta.

"You are going to have to do something a little different," St. Michel told the newspaper, "so you can get people in there."

Other than the bare breasts, St. Michel added, the Indian Spring Coffee Shop (search) would be a clean establishment, with no liquor sold.

Robert Dunphy Jr., Madison's code-enforcement officer, said there didn't appear to be any town ordinances barring a topless cafe, especially since the windows wouldn't be visible from the street.

St. Michel plans to start with only one or two nude coffee-slingers, but figures he may go up to four if business perks up.

Special of the Day — Sliced Robber

A French supermarket butcher had his revenge on three would-be robbers — he went at them with a meat cleaver.

The criminal trio barged into the supermarket before opening time in the town of Brumath, near Strasbourg (search) on the German border, wielding what looked like pistols, Agence France-Presse reported.

They quickly herded the eight staffers together and gathered up €5,000 (over $6,000) from the cash registers — until the store's butcher picked up his cleaver.

The guns turned out to be fake, but the knife was real. Police found one failed robber bleeding at a local hospital with a stomach wound and another at home with a nasty cut on his arm.

All the cash was left at the store. The third suspect was still at large.

Oh, Nothing, Just Baking Bullets

HOWARD, Wis. (AP) — A man and his wife ducked behind a refrigerator when bullets began exploding in their oven, authorities say.

Capt. Craig Kohlbeck of the Brown County Sheriff's Department said the husband had put the ammunition and three handguns in the oven before the couple left on a vacation.

He told officers he thought the items would be safe there in case someone broke into the home while they were away.

After returning from their trip Tuesday, the wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner and the bullets ignited, Kohlbeck said.

No one was hurt.

— Thanks to Out There readers John B. and Brian F.

Vote Early, Vote Often, Then Chew Your Cud

LONDON (AP) — Brenda Gould is in trouble again for registering her cows as voters.

For the second year running, the woman from Newmarket (search), near Cambridge in eastern England, has listed two names on the registration form who turned out to be cows, East Cambridgeshire District Council said Thursday.

The previous year, in addition to registering two cows as "Henry and Sophie Bull," she listed "Jake Woofles," later found to be a dog, as eligible to vote in local government elections, the council said.

This year she indicated that her address had been split into two properties, that she resided in one part and that two other persons lived in the second, a council spokesman said. The persons she claimed lived in the second property were, in fact, her cows, the spokesman said.

Gould had been scheduled to appear at Ely Magistrates Court on Tuesday but did not arrive. She was convicted in her absence and ordered to pay a £100 ($189) fine and £110 ($208) in costs.

"This was the second time that Mrs. Gould had given false information on electoral forms and so, regrettably, the council felt it was necessary to take action to prevent this abuse of the election system from continuing," said Maggie Camp, the council's senior legal assistant.

Gould was not available for comment.

What, Madden Football Doesn't Count?

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Does it count as "physical education" if the only things they're exercising are their thumbs?

A Florida school superintendent apparently doesn't think so. He's canceling a plan to let students play video games like "Big League Slugger" and "NFL Blitz" in gym class.

Fort Walton Beach High School wanted to use a Sony PlayStation (search) next year as part of a team sports course. The principal said it would help motivate more students to take physical education.

But Superintendent Don Gaetz has halted registration for the course, calling it "an idea whose time will never come."

It would have included a day of classroom instruction in football, baseball and basketball, two days of physical activity, and two days of PlayStation tournaments.

— Thanks to Out There reader Rusty S.

Compiled by's Paul Wagenseil.

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