Hey, Arianna... Who Does Your Books?

Hey, get this...I want to talk about Arianna Huffington (search), the smart Gabor.

Huffington is running for governor of California and she just released financial records which show she's paid about $700 in federal taxes and $0 in state taxes over the last two years on her earnings as an author and a lecturer. To put that in perspective, she paid less in taxes than the clerks at Borders who spend their days stacking the remainder shelf with her latest opus.

We already knew that the twists and turns in Huffington's core beliefs make Lombard Street look like the Champs Elysees, but with the release of these records Arianna is beginning to make Eve Harrington (search) look like a novitiate.

Recently, she started disparaging her opponent Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know, for her to take shots at Arnold tells me that she knows just how bad this tax dodge looks.

Arianna likes the social ramble, and risking the ire of a power hub like Arnold signals a Defcon One level of desperation. This gal has rubber stamped so many RSVPs in the affirmative, she makes mid-'70s Halston look like a shut-in.

She ridicules Arnold and yet she hangs out near the entrance of the building where recall papers are to be filed, just waiting for the exact moment he arrives so she can airdrop in like Red Adair (search) onto a burning oil platform and inject herself into his orbit. Meanwhile, an arrival a scant two minutes earlier or later would have allowed her to stroll right up that sidewalk, attracting about as much attention as a chameleon on a kilt.

If Martin Luther had nailed a list of her inconsistencies on a cathedral door it would have ripped it off its hinges. She's the "social reformer" who had a undocumented nanny, the "environmentalist" who until recently drove an SUV and the "foe of the fat cats" who almost pays no taxes.

I think we all know how this will turn out. Gary Coleman will win the governorship of California and Arianna will then make a shrewd play to marry him.

Got that? I'm Dennis Miller.